Typical Day in Memphis - Captain Underwear Attacks!


MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A man was arrested on Thursday after a bizarre series of events that included him crashing his car, getting shot by a homeowner, breaking a restaurant window and stripping to his underwear.

Police said it all started when the man crashed his car into a pole and started banging on the door of a nearby house. After he kicked in a window, when homeowner Leroy Bruce shot him, as Memphis folk are prone to do.

Bruce said the man ran off and left his pants and other clothing behind, as is the custom in Memphis. The bleeding suspect fled to a McDonald's and threw a rock through the front window, like you do, you know, when the line is long.

Witness Lisa Fuqua told WMC-TV that the man was easy for police to identify and that he "had to be on some high-powered something."

The suspect, who wasn't identified, was taken to the Regional Medical Center with Taser burns and bruises covering his genital area. Police said they have no idea how any of that happened and that they'll charge him when he's released, and probably beat him up some more, just for the hell of it.

Officers said when they found the man at the restaurant, he had stripped to his shirt and undershorts and was dancing the Macarena.

"He was quite good," Office Dingleberry said. "Quite the dancer, this one."

"Especially when you apply the Taser," another officer, who wished to remain anonymous added.

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