What's the deal with fools and gold teeth? Who in their right mind wants a big yellow smile that just might be worth killing you over?
Saturday a yellow Nova loaded with gangsta's came to my house to try to buy a car from me. They had the attitude, the clear silicone sealed windshield, the goofy gangsta hats and clothes, the poses, and the funky odor. They also had knocked out all their front teeth to have them replaced with gold. Every time any of them smiled at me I started to laugh. I couldn't help it. They looked like cartoon characters, like Fat Albert characters with bad attitudes.
I don't care which rapper has gold teeth. I don't care how cool you think that fool is. If you knock out all of your front teeth so you can have them replaced with gold you are an idiot and your smile makes you look dirty and dumb.
"Derrrrr, which way did he go? Which way did he go?"
Dude made me a low offer. I wanted to get rid of the car so I was going to take it. I went inside to confer with My Wife and then get the car title. Dude was too busy playing the angry rapper and being impatient after having smoked in my car while he test drove it so he decided to be a bad ass and leave, assuming that I wasn't going to take his offer and not waiting for the rejection. I was going to take his offer. He left with nothing but his gold toothed homeys and no car. Grow up, Dude. You lost out.
Oh, and here is something weird I noticed while trying to sell a car in Memphis.
White man calls wanting to ask about the car. First question: "what's your lowest price?" Blah, blah, conversation goes on asking about the car. Finally white man wants to come look at it. So he asks for directions. I tell him all the directions to reach my house. Then he gets the street address and says he's going to print out a MapQuest map, too. End of call.
Black man calls wanting to ask about the car. First question: "what's wrong with it?" Blah, blah, conversation goes on asking about the car. Finally, black man wants to come look at the car. So he asks for SOME directions. I start giving him directions and at some point he says, "OK, stop there. I'll drive that far and when I get to that point I'll call you again for MORE directions."
No shit. And so that's what he does. He'll get about halfway to my house and then call for more, but again, not ALL the directions to my house. He'll keep calling for a couple of directions until he finally gets to my house.
Now Genius Dude above with the gold grille did this shit and we had a problem with our phone. So for about an hour he couldn't reach me for the REST of the directions. He was all mad at me about it, as if it was my fault that he didn't get all the directions before he left home and drove for an hour. He wanted me to pay him money because he drove a long way. No, I'm not shitting you.
I drove for 18 hours to look at this car before I bought it. I didn't get shit for that because I was the one wanting to buy the car. You don't get a bonus prize for driving to look at something you want to buy. Grow the fuck up and learn how to ask for directions and WRITE THE SHIT DOWN so you don't have to just get SOME directions and then call back to ask for MORE. Dumbass.
I have never before in my life heard of someone asking for only some directions and then heading out, not knowing where they are going, but hoping that they will be able to call again and get more information. That's a new one on me, and it was only the black guys who did this. But it was ALL the black guys, every single one who called. I have no idea why that is.
And I sure as hell never heard of anyone expecting to get a little "something something" just for coming to look at my car and not buy it. Fuck that shit.
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