Sofia Vergara – GQ Mexico Magazine Photoshoot 2012

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Topless Reese Witherspoon

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Nude Memphis Writer?

I want to ask your opinion about something. And by 'you' I mean anyone and everyone who reads this blog, whether you are coming here directly, reading it through a blog reader, or getting it sent to you in your email. I want your opinion.

I had fun rewriting the Goldilocks and the 3 Bears story. It was a one day thing and I kept it short enough for a single blog post. People seemed to like it. I liked doing it. It was fun.

So I asked if people wanted me to do another and the overall response was 'yes, do another.' I put up a poll, which I think I have since taken down, and listed several fairy tales I could rewrite. Little Red Riding Hood won. When it came time to actually rewrite it, the story that came to mind was complex. I couldn't help it. It took me a long time to figure out what the heck I could do with that story that hadn't already been done.

You'd be surprised at how many rewritten versions of Little Red Riding Hood there are out there. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of alternate versions written by nobodies like me.

Anyway, being a 'big picture' guy and looking at the world the way I do, I couldn't help but pull current news stories into my version of Red Riding Hood as I was forming it in my mind. The story hadn't even begun to be put down on paper when I had already decided that the Zimmerman/Trayvon/Obama scandal was going to be central to it. Living in Memphis and placing my Red Riding Hood in Memphis, there was simply no way I could NOT use that in the story. I had no real intention of making it about Red vs The President, but once Obama interjected himself and his lackeys at the DoJ into the case he sort of forced himself into my story, too. And as his election campaign rolled forward and my story wasn't finished yet I had to include that, as well. I hadn't intended to. I hadn't really wanted to. But that's the price of writing as you go and trying to make a story relevant to current events. It's like trying to tell a story about the ocean while riding in a ship on the ocean. You're going to have to adjust with the waves and weather a lot.

Anyway, after seeing bloggers Karina Halle and Marlayna Glynn Brown leap from blogging to writing and self-publishing I started to pay more attention to the real world of writing. Karina has a distinct advantage in that she earned her degree in writing and has 4 years of education specific to the process, plus photography and film making, too, which no doubt helps her a great deal. But still, all that wouldn't matter if she couldn't formulate a good story. Some people just can't write no matter how much education they have. She can, though, in spades. I just read her fifth book. I completed it in a single weekend. I'm not usually the sort of person who sits down with a book and reads it cover to cover that quickly, but this was her best one yet. It was also her longest one up to that point, so it took longer for me to finish. Otherwise I would have stayed up all night to finish it. It was really good.

I'm also reading Marlayna's first book at the same time, which slows me down, obviously, but I'm not in a race. I read for fun. Sitting on my table underneath Karina's latest book and Marlayna's first book is current blogger Jenny Lawson's top ten best seller, "Lets Pretend This Never Happened." Most of you know Jenny as The Bloggess. I haven't started her book yet, but I'm going to soon. That's 3 bloggers with books out, and Karina has something like 11 books out now.

How many of you remember all of us encouraging Marlayna to turn her life story into a book? I do. I remember reading little pieces of her story on her blog and thinking "if this were a book, I'd buy it in a heartbeat." At the time it wasn't. But it is now. I bought it and I am reading it. It's just as fascinating as we thought it would be.

When I pulled all my writing from Red Riding Hood into a single file it was already nearly long enough to be a full-length novel. I was surprised by that. I'm guessing most of you aren't because there weren't many comments other than "this is really long." I had assumed from the lack of comments that no one liked it. But in my blog stats I was shocked to discover that every chapter received over 1000 views. None of the blog posts surrounding it received anywhere near that many. I don't know what to make of it, but apparently people who don't otherwise read this blog were looking at my story, and coming back later for the following chapters. They just didn't say anything to me.

I'm seriously considering self-publishing Red Riding Hood. I have to rewrite it first, of course. If I had written this thing with the intention of putting it into a book in the first place I would have done it somewhat differently. I would have written it backwards, from the end to the beginning. I wouldn't have been rushed by the coming election and my need to guess how that was going to turn out, decide to avoid it, and then regret that I didn't go with my instincts and stick with what I first wrote, which was that Obama won, but vote fraud was a strong factor. I also wouldn't have named Obama or anyone in his staff. I wouldn't have named anyone who actually exists. No one in the story would be a real person with loads of real baggage.

So here is what I'm thinking: I want to rewrite Red Riding Hood with the intention of self-publishing it. There will be no President Obama. In fact, there won't even be Democrats or Republicans. The president will be fictional, as will his party and the opposition party. The story isn't about him. The story is about one girl standing against an impossible foe, the flawed and ambitious leader of her country. There isn't just one Wolf. There are two. The first wolf is just a guy who attacked her with his own two hands. The REAL wolf, though, is the tyrant who wants to rape her for political gain.

Whether or not I'm even going to stick with the Red Riding Hood aspect is still up-in-the-air. It could just as easily be Katy versus The President, with only a minor nod to her resemblance to Red Riding Hood.

From what little I can gather in conversations Karina Halle has allowed me to overhear, something like this needs at minimum a trilogy to support it. That is to say, if I want to publish this as a book, then I need to write two more and be ready to publish them, too, one after the other. It helps to generate interest, as well as to build momentum. If any of the three are any good then they can bring attention to the other two and help lift them up. If two are good they help lift the third. If all are good then they bring demand for more books. It's like the way The 3 Bears brought demand for Red Riding Hood, only on a larger scale.

I don't anticipate this story making any great waves among the best sellers list. I don't anticipate it doing anywhere near as well as Karina's have. I don't even know if I can expect 1,000 copies to sell. Or even 100. I've never done this before. I have no one around me who knows how to do this and can give me advice, help me create the covers, tell me how best to promote it, etc. I am totally on my own. My odds of success are very small.

Still, it could be a fun learning experience. It would involve an awful lot of work. But I seem capable of doing the work part. The question is whether or not there is any point to doing this. Or whether I should dump the Red Riding Hood story altogether and just write something else from scratch, start completely over with something totally different.

So what do you think?

 

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Headlines In The News Today

Obama to send more aid to Syria

The article quotes Obama as saying this means "more warm clothing for children." No, it doesn't. It means more warm bombs and jets for Syria's military. We already know this from past experience. And Obama knows it, too, but he can't come straight out and say "I'm arming all the Muslim countries who are openly hostile towards us" because that would raise uncomfortable questions. Not from the US media, obviously, but people who are actually paying attention would ask "what the fuck would you do a thing like that for?! Are you trying to destroy America?" And that would be awkward for him.

Alex Rodriguez named in new doping report

And yet still no one gives a flying fart which athletes are using performance-enhancing drugs and which aren't. Honest to God, we don't care. This has been going on for so long that it no longer matters. Anyway, which drugs get banned and which don't is largely a matter of random decisions and political bullshit, so it truly has absolutely no meaning whatever. This is why we don't care. Whatever he's using, four years from now will probably be legal. And even if it isn't, all the Chinese and North Korean athletes are using them for the Olympics while our athletes are being tested and theirs aren't.

Obama to tread carefully in immigration debate

When has Obama EVER treaded carefully? His only job before George Soros made him a senator and then president was to be an agitator for the unions. His only actual experience is in stirring up riots. Tread carefully? The man has no clue how to tread carefully and no desire to learn. Why should he? Being a bully has gotten him this far, why turn back now?

Americans largely back women in combat: poll

The media always publishes polls they conducted themselves, which means they asked around the newsroom and then posted the results as if they were the opinions of all Americans. Anyway, non-military people will support anyone going into combat so long as it isn't themselves. The Americans most supportive of women in combat are lesbian feminist women too old to even register for the military, let alone be asked to. The Americans least supportive of women in combat are the people currently in combat or likely to be drafted to go into combat in the very near future. Of course, none of those people are included in the poll. The surest way to get Americans to support anyone going into combat is to promise that they themselves won't have to go into combat and deal with the consequences of their poorly thought out choices and then ask their opinion. "Let's say you never have to go into the military for any reason. Would you support sending other people's kindergartners into combat armed only with spears or are you a bigot who supports discrimination against the very young?"

Study says leafy greens top food poisoning source

That's ironic. Eating healthy has made more people sick than any other food source. You know what has never poisoned anyone? Chocolate covered peanuts! I don't know of anyone who ever ate chocolate covered peanuts and ended up in the hospital with some sort of non-allergy-related poisoning. Chocolate ice cream is another one that has never poisoned anyone. And chocolate cake has never made me sick with any sort of poisoning that I can recall.

Don't hem him in: 'Liberal' can't define the Obama presidency

No, it sure can't. Then again, no one ever called Fidel Castro a liberal either. Or Joseph Stalin. No one ever said "that Uncle Joe Stalin over in the Soviet Union is such a damn liberal." Chavez down in Venezuela hasn't ever been "hemmed in" with the "liberal" label either. And Mugabe of Zimbabwe is another one no one ever called a liberal. No, Obama is no liberal, that's certainly true. Not at all. Raging communist would-be dictator maybe, but no liberal.

DHS wants 7,000 assault weapons for 'personal defense'

Now that's rather ironic. Obama's own Department of Homeland Security says that the very guns Obama and the Democrats label 'assault weapons' are useful for self-defense and indicate that they want 7,000 of them as fast as possible. Why do you suppose a police force that only operates within the borders of the United States would suddenly have an emergency need for 7,000 additional 'assault weapons', especially during a time when Obama is moving to disarm the American People? That's odd, don't you think? They've also requested a shitload of hollow-point ammunition to go with those guns, which is ammunition designed for use on people not wearing any sort of military-style body armor. That is, ordinary Americans, for example, are vulnerable to hollow points, whereas when shooting at soldiers with body armor you don't use them. Why do you suppose Obama, while trying to disarm the American People, is arming his own police force as fast as possible with weapons like these? Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.

Health Experts: Let fat people, smokers die

Remember when Obamacare was being shoved down the American People's throats and Nancy Pelosi got all bent out of shape whenever the issue of Government Death Panels was raised? Well, now that we're all choking to death on it and it is the law of the land, suddenly Death Panels are emerging and recommending that unpopular groups of Americans, namely smokers and fat people, just be left to die. And this is only the beginning.

NYPD to use 'T-ray- to detect concealed guns

The police in New York have decided that the scandal of stopping random citizens and frisking their bodies allegedly for weapons without any cause whatever has sullied their reputation. And everyone knows that in politics reputation is far more important than the law or civil rights. So with that in mind, the New York Police Department is looking into replacing its random molestation of American citizens with the random spraying of citizens with radiation in order to see through their clothing and look at whatever is inside, just in case someone might have a gun or a knife. Or nice tits. And hey, if this random daily molestation via radiation causes a person who is politically unpopular or just unconnected to get sick and need medical treatment, we can rest assured the Department of Health and Human Services will refuse them treatment and just let them die. Death Panels to the rescue!

CBS Segment: Let's give up on Constitution

A Georgetown law professor featured on CBS argues that the Constitution was all a big waste of time and we should just let it go. He insists that previous presidents routinely ignored it whenever it got in their way and this proves that it is just a piece of junk not worth fighting to keep. He also likes the idea of America as a British colony never freed from bondage and the idea of a king in general, as kings can do as they please without answering to anyone. But he only likes the idea of a king not restricted by any constitution when that king is the one he voted for. Otherwise, not even he believes his bullshit idea is a good one.

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Meet the naked graffiti girls: Trend for tagging women's bare bodies with street art becomes internet sensation

• Thousands of girls upload photos of themselves with graffiti scribbled across breasts, buttocks and backs
• Website Shriiimp.com started the phenomenon
• Site spokesman said many are models and artists but some are just 'girl next door types' giving it a try
• Artist says: 'There are big risks when you do graffiti on the street, but adding your tag to a girl is much nicer - it's all soft and curvy'

By BIANCA LONDON

PUBLISHED: 12:30, 29 January 2013 | UPDATED: 13:59, 29 January 2013

Brightly coloured graffiti scribbles and murals are usually found on grotty inner-city buildings.

But thanks to a new internet sensation which sees graffiti-clad girls uploaded revealing shots of themselves, this is one street art trend that has broken out of the mould.

And unlike the illegal vandalism, Graffiti On Girls has become an internet hit, with cheeky street-style art added to women's bodies and the photographs uploaded for all to admire.

Graffiti girls: The latest internet sensation sees ink-clad girls uploading revealing photographs of their body art for the world to see

Thousands of kinky girls have uploaded pictures of themselves with pieces of work scribbled across their breasts, buttocks and backs.

Some have even had graffiti written across their entire body by friends and boyfriends - while one girl has a Bugs Bunny portrait across her breasts.

Dare to bare: The 'graffiti on girls' trend requires either a friend or boyfriend to do the artwork while the female exposes her flesh

The website Shriiimp.com - which started the phenomenon - has been bombarded with adventurous girls sending nude pictures of themselves in graffiti.

Site owner Vince Prawns said: 'The trend is big. There's now an enormous community of people around the world posting pictures of themselves online.

'Some of professional models and artist whiles others are the "girl next door" types who just want to give it a try.

'There are big risks when you do graffiti on the street, but adding your tag to a girl is much nicer - it's all soft and curvy.'

Girls next door: A spokesman fort the site said some women are professional models and artists whiles others are the 'girl next door' types who just want to give it a try

Art form: Thanks to the internet, the graffiti on girls artwork as become a real art form 

The 'graffiti on girls' trend requires either a friend or boyfriend to do the artwork while the female exposes her flesh. Some girls also put tags on themselves, but can't get into hard to reach places such as their back.

Water-based markers like those for outside are used to add the attractive design in a range of colours across the girls' legs or torso.

Vince added: 'The comment that comes up most often on is : "My two favourites things at one place : Girls & Graffiti".

Only girl allowed: Men are most definitely not allowed to feature on the site which sees models daubed with brightly coloured tags and murals

Favourite things: Men on the site often comment praising the girls and their graffiti, which they dub their 'two favourite things' 

'Graffiti on girls is exclusively for girls, so that means no body art and definitely no guys.

'There are thousands of pictures online of sexy girls painted by graffiti writers with real style. But we get just as many from girls that are simply too rude, and we've had to reject them.

'Most graffiti artist like to paint on their girlfriends, but it hasn't been until recently thanks to the internet that its become a real art form.'

The website has just released a calender featuring models with graffiti on their bodies which is available at shriiimp.com.

Calendar girls: The popular website has now even released a calendar featuring the graffiti girls

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2270027/Graffiti-girls-New-body-art-trend-internet-sensation-women-plaster-naked-bodies-street-style-art.html#ixzz2JOevWIlP
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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Naked Lacey Banghard – Frank White Photoshoot Nov 2010

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