I Remember

I remember when I could go outside first thing in the morning and look down my street to see the morning paper in every single driveway. Now its just me. No one else gets the paper anymore.

I remember when the sky seemed so incredibly blue and the grass so green, the sun was so bright it was blinding. Now its all just gray.

I remember when it seemed like everyone had a mom and a dad and they lived together in the same house. And then one day, suddenly, it was as if a bomb exploded and half of every home was blown apart. Now a kid living with their own mom and their own dad is as rare as the morning paper in the driveway.

I remember believing that everyone was nice and wanted to help you. I remember believing the mailman was nice, and the garbage man, and the milkman, and even the policeman. I didn't even realize at the time that there was no such thing as milkmen anymore. After all, they were in all the storybooks. I remember when the police were called policeman and not police officer, and they were men. I remember believing that you were safe if a policeman was around.

I remember cars made of metal with chrome and doors that went THUNK when you closed them. The sound was so solid and reassuring. You knew you were safe inside that steel shell.

I remember women in dresses, but only just barely.

I remember when bullies punched you in the stomach or the face. And then one day feminist teachers at my school taught sexual assault against boys and the world became much different.

I remember when your coach was as respected as your preacher and neither one raped you in the ass.

I remember when people who assaulted a person's sexual organs were reviled rather than admired. And you couldn't show it on TV because it is obscene.

I remember beautiful women with long shiny hair.

I remember when my dad wore a tie to work every day.

I remember riding a purple bicycle to school early in the morning. I have no idea why I had a purple bicycle. I didn't choose it.

I remember when almost no one wore a seatbelt and child seats were only for babies.

I remember when everyone's mom had a giant stationwagon and no one thought there was anything wrong with that.

I remember thinking electric windows were neat because all my parents cars had manual windows.

I remember when we would install cassette decks in our cars in place of the factory radios, some of which were AM only.

I remember Members Only, polo shirts that fit way too tight, and tight jeans.

I remember when I believed I would one day have a good and secure job, a wife who loved me, and a family of my own which my wife and I would raise together. These were my major goals in life. These are what I always wanted and needed in order to be happy. And they still are.

I remember when I had faith that people were basically decent and good and I trusted them not to betray me.

I remember when I lost my faith.

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