KABOOM! BOMBSHELL OF THE DAY (5-26-11): MODEL AISIKA MAI

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KABOOM! BOMBSHELL OF THE DAY (5-26-11): MODEL AISIKA MAI


AISIKA MAI INFO:
Name: Aisika Mai

Age: 22
Hometown: Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation: Model.
A Fun Fact (Something that people may not know about you or something funny that you would like to share.)

My parents don't know that I play for the other team [Smile].


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I Keel Yew

Over the course of history, people have used the names of various deities, leaders and/or celebrities as an excuse for doing evil shit that they already wanted to do anyway. The following is a list of the top 5 names people have given as an excuse for their evil deeds:

1) Karl Marx - you wouldn't think that the world would be so heavily rocked with mass murder and general oppression done in the name of a dude named "Karl", but the fact is, this is indeed what has happened. Over the past 100 plus years more people have been murdered, raped, tortured, beaten, robbed and generally enslaved in the name of the beliefs of Karl Marx than any other being. This is partly due to population increases which have made mass killings far worse in recent history than was even possible in the past. I'd list the details and math explaining this, but I don't feel like it, so go look it up yourself, you lazy bastards.

2) Allah - his name sounds like Alan Alda, but it is, in fact, not the same guy. Allah is the god of the Muslim world. A man said to be a prophet of Allah, named Mohamed, declared that it is the obligation of all good Muslims to kill anyone who does not believe in Allah and follow Islam. Thus, over 1000 years ago a mass killing began in which the religion of Islam spread throughout the East through conquest and mass murder. This mass killings in the name of Islam continued for over 1000 years. Europe itself was nearly conquered and all of Christianity nearly wiped out by the murdering crusades of the Muslims.

3) God/Jehovah - self-loathing and xenophobic Western atheists like to claim that more people have been killed in the name of God than any other, but that is incorrect. God only comes in third, and then only barely so. Aside from the Crusades, very few wars have had much of anything to do with Jehovah God (or Jesus) and most of those were very limited in scope and population of people involved. Even when you add in Jewish killings listed in the Old Testament of the Bible it doesn't add up to much. There simply weren't that many people around to kill back then. Today, Western governments don't kill in the name of God. They kill in the name of the investments and interests of various rich people behind the scenes whom we never see and rarely hear about except in conspiracy theories mumbled in bars.

4) Oprah - Mary Winkler, Aileen Wurnos, Andrea Yates, Amy Bishop, Bambi Bembenek, the list of female killers goes on and on. Other than being female, all of the most infamous female killers of the late 20th century and early 21st century had one thing in common: they loved Oprah. They may not have shouted "Oprah be praised" as they committed their atrocities, but it was the madness she drove them to with her insanely stupid show that is believed to be behind their transformation into spotlight-seeking, bloodthirsty monsters.

5) The ShamWow Guy - hour after hour, day in and day out, this sinister figure appears on TV screen after TV screen, shouting and screaming about the ShamWow and his nuts. On the surface, he seems harmless, if not extremely annoying. But psychologists say there is a deeply hidden hostility in his voice that resonates with other damaged people, setting them off like time bombs, leading them to buy the indestructible ShamWow and use it as a garrote for strangling people to death. The ShamWow murder spree is not openly discussed in the media, but police and the Justice Department have been working feverishly to get these ads off the air and track down every single person who has ever purchased a ShamWow. Many of them have been found at mass murder scenes in Mexico, leading the Mexican government to demand that the US government do more to prevent the flow of ShamWows across the border into Mexico where it may fall into the hands of drug gangs.


And now, something to make you want to tear your own eyes and ears out, the latest mass murder inspiration, Luke of New Zealand and his Disasteradio:

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American Idol Don't Mean A Thang

I had something I wanted to say. I forget now what it was exactly. I was going to write a post about some of my thoughts on current events. And I had no intention of linking any of my sources or in any way trying to back up what I have to say with evidence that it is factual.

This is my blog. No one pays me for writing for their entertainment. No one gives me anything at all for the work I do here. I'm not a newspaper or a news source of any sort. I have no editor and no journalistic responsibility to anyone. I'm here to write how I feel or what I think. And lately I feel sick of backing up my posts with hyperlinks to sources, which no one ever clicks anyway. I'm sick of treating this like a job. It feels like a job sometimes, only I never get paid and no one provides me with any coffee. It takes forever to put together a post when I take the time to look up all the sources and include the links to them. Fuck that.

obama rev wright
Pres O and Rev Hater

I think several things our government is doing right now is a really bad idea. For example, there is a news story today about Obama promising to work with the Russians on a missile defense shield. If this isn't proof that the man is a first class idiot, I don't know what it is going to take to prove it. I don't feel like linking the story, so I'm not going to. We had a missile shield. Obama signed it away to the Russians, who have no missile shield, but do have a shitload of nuclear missiles aimed straight at our throat and so they are pissed that we have come up with a system that will protect us from their aggressive and predatory nature. So he signed an agreement that we won't build the shield. What kind of President tolerates and even caters to someone like Putin getting his pink panties in a wad over our SHIELD? Does Obama not understand even the concept of a shield? It's purely defensive. No one can object to such a thing unless they are wanting to do harm to the one who possesses it. And the only 'leader' who doesn't grasp this and tell the Russians to go fuck themselves is a moron, or a gigantic pussy, or both. That's my opinion. You don't have to click anything to get the back story on that. It's all right here.


jennifer lopez
Idol

Some dude was selected as this year's American Idol last night. They tell me it came down to a dude and a chick and the judges chose the dude. And this is big news, apparently. And also, apparently, the dude and the chick are sleeping together so it's like a couples thing. Or something. Either way, who gives a damn? It's not like the Royal Wedding. It's just a stupid TV show. The whole world today seems to be talking about it. I didn't watch a single episode and I don't care. Suddenly Pippa Middleton's hotness has been replaced as the topic of the day by American Idol. Geez.

I don't normally use the term 'chick' to refer to anyone, male or female. Somehow that just seemed to fit with what I was writing.

Blogger is all fucked up today. I don't even know if this post is going to save, let alone post.


barney frank
Bad Policy

What else is going on today? Oh yeah, the stock market is up and down like a teenaged couple in the back seat of an old car getting their freak on. Apparently the vast economic uncertainty that socialist politics has created is leading to a dramatic chaos in the business and financial world. Who knew that having socialists, who have no understanding of how economics or business works at all, in charge of our laws and regulations governing business and the economy might be a bad idea? Shocker!

People are upset today because the lunatic who shot a judge and a Congresswoman has been declare incompetent to stand trial. I understand their upset, but what I'd like to know is, why can't we declare politicians incompetent to hold office and have them removed as easily as that? It would sure clear out a lot of spots in Washington.

A lot of teachers and left-wing people are complaining that our schools are in decline because we don't spend enough money on education, and lately we are having to make cuts. They say this is the fault of right-wing conservatives who don't care about kids and are greedy. Here's a thought: first of all, we now spend several times more per student than we did back in 1980 or 1970 or 1960, and yet kids performed much better in school and got a better education back then than they do now. So clearly money isn't the problem or the answer. Second, how is it that no one seems to grasp the concept that as a nation declines, and our economy teeters on the brink of disaster, we quite naturally have less money available to throw at the teachers unions, regardless of whether those teachers are doing a great job or a very shitty one? The money ain't there, bitches. It done all been spent on bullshit and corrupt politics. Now we're reaping what has been sown. As a nation declines, it has less money to throw around. We're declining. Rapidly. And so, not surprisingly, we have less and less money each year to blow up teacher's asses so they can teach our children how to put condoms on bananas and perform oral sex the proper way. I'd suggest that someone needs to find a gold mine or strike oil here in the U.S. so that we have a new source of riches to spend, but even if someone did, Obama's EPA would prohibit anyone from bringing that gold or oil up out of the ground and it would all be for nothing anyway, so fuck it.


There's an article in the news right now entitled "Parents keep child's gender under wraps." OK, first of all, it isn't the child's "gender" they're keeping under wraps. It's the child's SEX, which is not the same thing. They can dress their child as either "gender" and thus change the child's gender at will, as they please. Geez, we have a media here in the U.S. that is so fucking PC that they won't even use the word "sex" anymore, ever since feminist college professors changed to "gender" in order to make the lesbian women who dress as men happy. Listen, if a reporter misuses the term "gender" that's no shocker. Most of our reporters are retarded. But now that the misuse has spread to our lawyers and political leaders, there is a real cause for concern. And if you ever encounter a DOCTOR who misuses the term, run from that idiot as fast as you can. Medical professionals are not ever supposed to use the term "gender" in place of "sex" because they are NOT interchangeable.

And again, I once hyperlinked to an article explaining all this, but I'm not going to today, so if you're curious, Google it or look back through my old posts.


pope
Pope don't even know

There's a preacher in the news who apparently 'calculated' the Judgement Day using some form of mathematics that they apparently don't teach in college. I have a degree in math and I grew up in a church where we actually studied the Bible (yes, there are plenty of churches that never even open it, let alone read it.) I can tell you, I don't recall any Bible lessons on how to write a mathematical proof relating to the Judgement Day. Basically, the Bible says you won't know when it'll be. So this preacher dude who claims he did the math and came up with a number is smoking crack. Or more likely, meth, 'cause that's the drug of choice among the rednecks these days. Nuff said.

I guess that's all I have to say today. Bleargh.
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Made in America - impenetrable plastic packaging

mom proof caps
Mom-proof caps


I was talking to my mom the other day when she told me about a frustrating problem she'd had. She went to the store and bought a bottle of aspirin because she wasn't feeling well. When she got the bottle home and tried to open it, she found that it had one of those annoying child-proof caps. Being old, she found the cap to be old-person proof, too.

My mom isn't exactly known for her patience, being Irish and all. She tried the lid a few times, with no luck. Then she got a hammer.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! She wailed on that plastic bottle cap for all she was worth. But it didn't budge. It also didn't show any signs of cracking, so she wailed on the bottle itself a few times. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Nothing. No cracks. No pills.

In frustration, she got an ice pick and began stabbing the bottle. She told me that she managed to make a hole in the cap, only to discover that underneath the bottle cap was another cap of some sort, inside the first cap. She had to dig her way through two layers of plastic old-person-proof cap using that ice pick. This made her good and mad.



zibra

Then she got some metal snips and began nipping at the hole she'd made with the ice pick. Slowly, but surely, she managed to cut open the top cap and get down to the lower cap, the child-proof part. She cut through that one, too, a little at a time, until finally she had enough of a hole to get to the aspirin!

She dumped all the aspirin out of the infuriating patient-proof bottle and into a Ziploc bag. Then she threw the "Made in America" indestructible plastic container into the trash, where it belongs.

Everything we buy these days seems to be made in China or Mexico, and most of it is shit. But when it comes to indestructible pill bottles, or that damned vacuum formed plastic around anything from flashlights to pocket knives to new batteries, that impenetrable and razor-sharp clear plastic vault which prevents you from accessing the item you've just bought without first using power tools to tear open the packaging, cutting yourself to ribbons in the process, that shit is made in America.

Yay us.




jaws of life
Give me my new iPod, damn you!
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Jesse Stone - gay serial sex offender cop


Bad Cop

Tonight on CBS, another installment of the alcoholic homosexual serial sex offender, police chief Jesse Stone, featuring the increasingly hypocritical and despicable Tom Selleck, in the lead role, was aired for the entertainment of misandric feminists, violent homosexual sex offenders, and narcissists throughout the United States. In it, the infamous gay sexual assault scene from the last made-for-CBS Jesse Stone movie, was reprised, with Tom Selleck once again sexually assaulting yet another unarmed man who was simply standing with his hands by his sides in his own living room when the apparently gay, drunk, perverted and armed Jesse Stone, decided to get his rocks off by raping and humiliating the man by using his foot to penetrate the victim's genitalia.

This is portrayed as heroic.

Researchers in relationship violence and sexual violence have repeatedly documented that it is not normal for a heterosexual man to assault the genitals of another man except in circumstances of extreme fear, such as fear for life. It is, quite unmistakably, an act of sexual violence. But among homosexual men, as well as lesbian women, random assault of the male genitalia is extremely common, even epidemic, and often has little if anything to do with self-defense. These facts were part of the reason that psychologists repeatedly stated that the men featured in Mtv's popular program "Jackass" were either blatantly homosexual, or latent homosexuals in heavy denial of their true sexuality. Accusations of homosexuality plagued "Jackass" throughout its entire run, and for good reason. Adult heterosexual men simply don't go around attacking the sexual organs of other men. Normal straight women don't commonly attack men's genitalia, either, unless specifically taught and encouraged to do so, and even then the vast majority of sexual assaults of males by females of this particular nature occurs during the adolescent years, when hormones are out of control, brains incompletely formed and emotions swinging wildly. Even then, the behavior has to be taught and encouraged. It is estimated that due to media encouragement of misandric sexual violence of this nature, over 90 percent of males under the age of 30 have been sexually assaulted at least once, and most many, many more times than once. 20 years ago, researchers found less than half of males had been sexually assaulted in this manner. Prior to the 1980s, less than 10 percent of males had been sexually assaulted in this manner and such an abuse was recognized by society, if not the law, as a despicable and inexcusable sexual attack.

This timeline of anti-male sexual violence and abuse also coincides exactly with studies documenting a dramatic and alarming rise in narcissism among youth populations throughout the United States. In 1980, when the studies began, the average American youth had levels of narcissism that were considered normal and healthy. By 2000, the average American youth had levels of narcissism that were considered a borderline personality disorder, and dangerous. Today, in 2011, levels of narcissism among youth are even higher still. This is relevant because narcissists are the group most prone to enjoying witnessing or actively causing human beings to be hurt, humiliated, or even killed. The type of person most prone to enjoying and even laughing at a video of a person being sexually assaulted or even mutilated, a video that would disturb a normal person, is a narcissist. Narcissists don't sympathize with the suffering of others. They care only about themselves. As Homer Simpson put it, "it's funny because it isn't me." Thus, today narcissists watch television depictions of males being castrated, but tomorrow they would just as happily watch screaming girls being gang raped and respond with the same detached amusement as long as society did not discourage them from doing so. For many with personality disorders, whether society encourages or discourages a certain behavior makes all the difference in the world.

In years past, civil rights lawyers documented rare cases in which police officers sexually assaulted and sometimes raped male prisoners, often sodomizing them using tools such as toilet plungers and night sticks, or attaching electrodes to the male victims' testicles or penises and electrocuting their genitals in order to obtain a confession or simply to obtain sadistic sexual gratification. It was found that female officers was as likely, or sometimes more likely, as male officers to sexually assault and sexually torture male prisoners. But unlike today, in years past this was acknowledged as a criminal offense and the officers, if caught, were often prosecuted and imprisoned.

But that was before the rise of feminism, with its associated gay power political movement, and of course the extreme anti-male hatred - i.e. misandry - that feminism is most known for.

Today, sexual abuse and castration of males is celebrated, encouraged, and taught in classrooms and even churches across the United States. Every girl in America is sooner or later taught to sexually assault and castrate every boy, based on the long cherished and viciously misandric lie that 1 of every 4 women in every nation has been raped. Meanwhile, every boy is taught that the destruction of his own sexuality is inevitable and, of course, his own fault - he deserves it for the crime of having been born male because clearly if so many women are being raped then all males must be rapists. It's on every channel, in every TV program (even Hannah Montana), and even in children's comic books. Misandry and associated sexual assault are now as American as Mom, baseball, and apple pie once were.

CBS is owned by an allegedly extreme narcissist named Sumner Redstone, real name Murray Rothstein. Mr Redstone/Rothstein was the father of 4 children. 2 are said to have died, allegedly by their own hands in odd circumstances. Rumors of drug addiction and/or mental illness surrounded the deaths but were not proven.* His one remaining son has sued Sumner/Murray for allegedly robbing him of several billion dollars. His one remaining daughter once worked for Mr Redstone/Rothstein at CBS and was for a time his darling princess, but has since fallen out of his ever-changing favor as she became a threat to his all-important grip on power over his media empire. Mr Redstone is divorced, his children have sued him or died, and some of his grandchildren are alleged to have died or sued him, too. Facts surrounding him and his family are hard to verify, but always seem to be filled with rumors of conflict, greed and animosity.

Over the past year, following a very odd ruling by the Supreme Court which crippled the FCC's power to regulate the broadcast of indecency and obscenity, CBS has apparently declared a mandate that every single show in a prime time slot feature at least one scene of extreme anti-male sexual violence and degradation, always portrayed as humorous, harmless and above all, heroic. It was less than 30 years ago that only cowards, homosexuals, and low-lifes treated a man this way. But today, in the era of misandry, it is the 'good' guys who rape and sodomize.

Ironically, the Department of Justice bases all laws governing sex crimes on a common public sense of decency. Men have been sentenced to over 1000 years in prison for alleged sexual offenses that merely violated the perceived public sense of decency, yet the FCC is suddenly prohibited from enforcing this same common sense of decency over broadcast media because, as the court says, the concept is 'vague.' Yet when arresting a teenaged boy for possessing dirty pictures on his cellphone from a teenaged girl, suddenly the vagueness of this same concept isn't a problem.

It's no coincidence that "Jackass" was a feature program on Mtv, promoting homosexual genital violence and abuse. The show encouraged sexual abuse and mutilation among young, impressionable viewers who have since taken up the call to self-castrate and begun a wave of self-castration videos so numerous that entire televisions programs are dedicated to showing nothing but these videos. Mtv, which gave us "Jackass", the real-life "Ow My Balls" television program virtually identical to the fictitious program featured in the movie "Idiocracy", is a network once commonly referred to as the Pagan Evangelical Network due to its overwhelmingly anti-Christ, anti-male, anti-America, pro-homosexual, pro-Marxism, pro-paganism message. This dramatic shift in priorities at Mtv, from music and music videos to anti-God and pro-sodomy, occurred virtually overnight, immediately following the hostile takeover of Mtv by Viacom. Viacom is the media company owned by Sumner Redstone, the person who now gives us Tom Selleck as a homosexual serial sex offender alcoholic cop who abuses his authority and sexually abuses male citizens, while swaggering about as the supposed hero. He encourages audiences to support the idea of police who sexually assault citizens and generally ignore the most basic of human rights because heroes don't have to follow the rules.

When I was a little kid, I remember my dad complaining about liberal law firms suing police in various parts of the country for abusing the rights of citizens whom they wanted to accuse of various crimes. Even in cases where it was proven that the police had completely framed the citizens, or in which the police had sodomized and/or tortured the genitals of innocent men, my father took the position that the police could do anything they wanted because they were the good guys, and good guys can do evil to bad guys without it being morally or legally wrong. This was not long after the era of hippie protest marches and left-wing terrorist organizations like the Weather Underground, who murdered police and blew up American citizens with bombs planted in various buildings throughout the country. It was a time when the average American was very angry with the Baby Boomer left-wing activists due to their drug-fueled violent protests and terrorist activities. It was a time when "Dirty Harry" movies glorified the idea of rogue cops sexually mutilating and killing anyone who represented that group of Americans associated with violent protests, Marxism, and terrorism. People were fed up and willing to celebrate a cop who ignored the law and just shot the bad guys. Shortly after this, citizens found that real cops behaving this way was not so pleasant after all, and drastic legal changes were put into place to put a stop to it.

Today, those legal changes have steadily been stripped away, and many police departments routinely use sexual assault and even outright castration of unarmed and nonviolent males as part of their arrest procedures. Tasers, bean bag rounds fired from shotguns, and even handguns in increasing numbers of police departments, are used to intentionally target the genitals of unarmed and often non-violent male citizens, average citizens who haven't done a thing wrong. Lawyers have helped to encourage this trend of Romanesque terror-through-castration by informing the various law enforcement organizations, as well as the Department of Justice itself, that any injury to a vital internal organ, even the appendix, often results in costly lawsuits in civil court. But an injury that is emotionally devastating and humiliating to the male victim, such as castration or total emasculation, rarely results in a costly settlement for police due to the overwhelmingly female-majority juries which have resulted from feminist legislation preventing even obviously biased females from being removed from juries, while males can be removed virtually without cause or explanation. Overwhelmingly female juries, coupled with the current overwhelmingly anti-male American culture, means that juries feel little or no sympathy for male victims of sexual abuse or mutilation. A police officer can quite literally shoot an unarmed male citizen in the genitals for absolutely no reason and face little chance of going to jail or even losing his or her job in law enforcement. Such is the extent of anti-male hatred currently present in the American legal system.

We have people like Sumner Redstone and Tom Selleck to thank for this, among countless others. Thanks assholes. And fuck you for your contribution to the general decline of America.


Bad Man



* Details of Sumner Redstone's family and children's deaths are hard to verify. Any inaccuracies are purely accidental.
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Random Thursday Thoughts


I just love it when smoke comes pouring out of the back of my car, making me think my car must be on fire, and then I find that it's coming from my rear wheel right after having had my brakes worked on. So this is the second car in 2 weeks that your man has done this to? Has no one explained to him how this might be a problem? Had I been on the road to Memphis today instead of tomorrow I would have either locked up at 70 mph and wrecked or been left stranded somewhere in the middle of Butthole, Mississippi. Either one is a very, very bad option. Rear brakes are not rocket science. The only reason I didn't do them myself is because rear brakes are a pain in the ass when they aren't disc. But you didn't even replace my rear brakes. You replaced my front brakes and then casually mentioned that you adjusted my rear brakes. Thanks, but this adjustment was no help to me at all. In fact, it may have ruined my brand new rear tire, which I very much do not appreciate.




What is it with tow truck drivers that they can't take your vehicle from Point A to Point B without adding some sort of additional damage? Sure, you rolled down my window and then couldn't get it to roll back up. Fine. I can deal with that later. Was it really necessary for you to grab it and force it up, ripping my window tint in the process? Did you not see it tearing? Now I have this lovely giant upside down 'V' in my window on top of my other problems. Thanks so much for that. I had that window tint done just about 6 months ago so technically it wasn't brand new, just almost brand new. Oh well, at least you didn't crease my quarter panel like the last tow truck guy did. That cost a fortune to fix on top of the $200 tow.




I find it odd that a man who supposedly knows about cars would say "these old cars, if it isn't one thing then it's another" when the entire reason he's towing my car is due to human error by a mechanic whom he says he knows personally and not due to anything relating to a car getting older. The car itself is fine. When it's treated right it works right. When it's treated wrong it has problems. Isn't this also true of a brand new car?




Apparently Puddle of Mudd has a whole bunch of shitty songs and one really cool song per CD. I surmise this from owning only one of their CDs, of course, as I am fond of generalizing. It occurs to me that this plethora of bad songs surrounding one good song is probably the reason that buying singles is so popular and always has been. But I'm not a big 99 cent digital download kind of guy. I want a piece of plastic of some sort that I can hold in my hand, so unless the song is offered as a single on a tiny CD, I'll end up buying the entire CD and then recording just the one song off of it for my PC and my iPod. Its too bad that iTunes songs are such lousy quality. An old vinyl record recording is over 10 times higher quality than an iTune song, but most people don't realize that. The digital age has brought us access to a lot more music, but at a cost of sound quality. I noticed several musicians are once again releasing albums on vinyl. I guess this means I need to get my old turntable repaired and dust off my album collection. Yeah, I still have it. I'm a packrat. And thank God for the resurgence of vinyl, too. I burn my own CDs. Now if only they'd rerelease that old HD CD format where the songs on the CDs were higher quality, too. The CDs they release today are also lower quality than the old vinyl records. But as Benny Hill used to say, not a lot of people know that.




Just because you're not in any hurry doesn't give you the right to get in the passing lane and cruise at 35 mph while resting your head in your hand, nearly falling asleep as you crawl along blocking traffic. This is the reason that I called you a cunt. Your expression indicated that you hadn't heard this term in quite awhile. I guess that's one of the perks of retirement, eh? You should roll up your windows if you don't like being talked to about your driving as you're snailing along.




Isn't it funny how a shelf can look so small on the box and then turn out to be so huge once you've assembled it? I was planning to put this thing on top of my desk and fill it with the crap currently smothering my desk, but now that I have it together it looks to be almost as big as the desk itself. It still might go up there, but it's going to reach way up high and dwarf everything else. And it isn't as if I can just take it back apart again and return it for a refund. I put this sucker together tight, complete with wood glue. I've looked around the room and I don't see a good spot where I could place it on the ground, either. This sucks.




I've noticed that on DVDs now, in addition to warnings about language, sex and general violence, we are now warned if anyone in the movie smokes. I find this very odd. I checked every single Adam Sandler movie to see if there were any warnings about his use of sexual violence against males and castration gags for cheap laughs and found no warnings whatever. But if anyone lit up a cigarette while viciously castrating a man in one of his movies, by God, we were all warned about that. Apparently when a nation normalizes homosexuality at its highest positions of power and leadership, sexual violence is normalized along with it and deemed to be merely an alternate lifestyle, harmless and fun. But cigarette smoking is suddenly viewed as evil and an abomination which must be censored lest our children see it. Yes, go ahead and castrate your brother/lover/husband/father/son, but just don't ever let me catch you smoking! Or you'll GO TO HELL!




There is a new show on ABC called "Happy Endings" which comes on after "Cougar Town." It appears to be ABC's attempt at recreating "Friends", what with there being 3 guys and 3 girls and everyone living in a way-too-nice apartment. Except this being ABC, of course, one of the characters is gay and one is black. That in and of itself doesn't surprise me at all since ABC is one of the gayest networks on TV. But what's weird about this show is that it has 2 hot female blondes in the cast, and one not especially hot brunette. For some reason, the show seems to be trying to tone down the hot blondes and make them less hot, while jacking up the not hot brunette to make her hotter. I don't get this because there is nothing about her character that requires her to be hot. It doesn't benefit the show at all for them to do this. The only time I've ever seen a TV show do this, the girl was either a member of a privileged race, a lesbian, the daughter of someone high up at the network, or some combination of all of those. I don't know who this actress is, so seeing this and being otherwise bored with the show, I now feel compelled to try to find out what's going on. And then blast the information out to the whole world via the internet. NYA NYA NYA!
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Dita Von Tease Sexy Bedroom Photoshoot


















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I Don't Like It


I don't like a workout class being led by a woman who talks like a cross between Joey from "Friends" and Fran Drescher from "The Nanny." Yo Vinnie!

I don't like a workout instructor who secretly wants to be a clown. This isn't a daycare. We're all adults here. Even me.

I don't like a workout instructor who spends half the class talking to us with her eyes closed. What's wrong with you that you can't look at us? Or maybe I should ask, what's wrong with us that you won't look at us?

I don't like a workout instructor who spends more reps showing us how NOT to do the exercise than doing it the right way. We're going to do what you do, OK? Also, if you accidentally hurt yourself swinging the weight like that, I'm going to laugh. But then I'll be mad because you won't be able to finish the class.

I don't like a workout class where we do 100,000 reps of the same exercise on the same arm or leg. If everyone has collapsed and it's just you, maybe we should switch to something else?

I don't like the way I look in that damn mirror.

I don't like the plastic floor that, as soon as I drip sweat on it, becomes as slippery as a hockey rink.

I don't like the way the attractive blonde woman next to me keeps glancing over at me to make sure I'm not looking at her. If you'll stop turning your head to look my way I'll stop turning my head to see what the hell you're looking at, OK? You're not that hot and even if you were, I'm busy over here. Can't you see I'm dying?

I don't like how little progress I've made and how tired I am all the time.

I don't like when the cafeteria runs out of regular milk and I have to mix my chocolate protein shake in a chocolate milk. It's not nearly as good as it sounds.

I don't like walking back into the office with my hair every which way and my clothes slightly wet, as if I'm sweating waterfalls, because it's humid out and my towel isn't able to suck every last drop of water off me. Yes, I know I look like ass, but it's just water. And anyway, don't I always look like ass? Isn't that the whole point to my busting my ass in the gym during my lunch hour in the first place?
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Friday the 13th News

SPECIAL NOTE: Every single comment I left on your blogs yesterday is gone today. At first I thought I had offended one of you, but then I noticed that it was every blog, including my own reply to your comments here. It seems to include every single thing I wrote. I know Blogger had problems yesterday, but holy crap, was it so bad that they had to reload the entire thing from Wednesday's backup files?!

Anyway ...

Happy Friday the 13th. It's dark and a little rainy here. Just what a flooded city needs, eh? Yeah, ok.

Inflation hits 2 1/2 year high

So the White House and our Federal 'experts' are claiming there is no inflation, even though we are all paying more and more for basic things, and our President and Senate are trying to shift blame for the skyrocketing cost of gasoline onto Wall Street 'speculators' and 'Big Oil greedy executives' alternately and in that order. Last time gas went up like this it was because a giant hurricane named Katrina had wrecked all our wells in the Gulf and a few refineries, too. It was a temporary thing caused by God and poor planning. This time our Democratic Party and their leader, Barack Obama, are hoping Americans are too stupid and/or distracted to notice that there was no hurricane and the rising price of fuel has nothing to do with God, but more a man who thinks he's God. The White House has stopped oil drilling and pumping, as well as attacking our coal mines and nuclear facilities, in an environmental extremist attempt to send America back into the 1800s, back when people rode horses and women owned slaves but didn't vote. The Press reports that 53 percent of our population believes the Democrats' claims that Big Oil and greedy capitalist pigs are to blame, while the rest of the nation wants a new President.

Meanwhile ...

Flood Waters Threaten Oil and Gas Production

A very real and non-Obama-created flood is threatening to once again expose the inherent weakness in the United States' oil refining capabilities by virtue of the majority of refineries being located all in the same location. Should it become necessary for the Army Corp of Engineers to flood a significant portion of Louisiana in response to the rising waters of the Mississippi River, a large number of oil wells and refineries in that region will be suddenly underwater. Some of the oil companies insist it won't matter, as they have already been underwater for a long time and already operate under those conditions.

Meanwhile ...

2 1/2 Men, Again

Ashton Kutcher has been chosen as the replacement for Charlie Sheen on "2 1/2 Men", which is really weird since Charlie is older than Allan and Ashton is as much younger than Allan as he is than wife, Demi Moore. Still, he's a likable guy and if they handle it right I guess it could work. We'll see.

Obama Suffering a Man-cession

America's first honorary lesbian president, Barack Obama, is apparently not gaining the kind of boost in the polls he'd hoped for after the killing of Osama bin Laden. It seems that among women he is more popular now than he was, with 55 percent of women now saying they like him as a leader, but only 43 percent of men saying they don't think he's a girlie-man mama's boy with an ugly wife. This is truly a great cause for alarm to the Obama White House, as women are known to be fickle and will quickly change their mind and return to their previous opinion of him as soon as the seasons change again. Men, on the other hand, aren't so quick to change their minds and will almost certainly continue to think he is a dick as the price of gasoline, food, utilities and life in general climbs, while job opportunities for men slides further and further into oblivion as America transforms into the France of old under Obama even as France transforms into a more manly nation under Sarkozy and his hot supermodel wife.

It's interesting to note the the percentage of voters who believe the Democrats' claims that Big Oil is to blame for the high price of gas today is almost exactly the same as the percentage of women who think President Obama is a good leader. I have no idea if there's a significance to that, but it's interesting all the same.

And that's really all I have to say on this Friday the 13th. Have a nice weekend.

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Wordless Wednesday

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Pippa's Ass

Pippa Middleton
Pippa Middleton

There is a fan page on Facebook dedicated to Pippa Middleton's ass. Not Pippa herself. Not Pippa's winning smile. Not anything else about Pippa beyond just her ass.

And I have somehow accidentally joined this page.

Seriously, I have no idea how, because I never clicked 'Like' anywhere. I just started receiving updates from it in my Facebook account this morning.

Not that I'm complaining, but how did this happen?

Pippa Middleton
"You dirty old perv!"
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Memphis is Getting a Little Soggy

 


We're flooding in Memphis, in case you hadn't heard. The river is rising and the houses are sinking. Beale Street is half underwater. The half that isn't is still partying on, of course. This is after the tornadoes. I guess it's our turn.

I saw Melbourne burning, Queensland flooding, New Zealand endure a horrible earthquake. Japan hit with the worst earthquake of my lifetime, followed by a tidal wave that, I have to be honest, looked like something out of a Godzilla movie because it was just so huge and seemingly impossible. And then Alabama had tornadoes unlike anything I have ever seen, with the entire northern half of the state seemingly under attack by a swarm of tornadoes all at the same time. I had never seen three tornadoes running together in a pack before. I didn't even know that was possible. I guess I do now. Memphis got off easy compared to some, but now the Mississippi River is rising to record high levels and flooding everything anywhere near its banks.

I shouldn't complain. There are people north of Tennessee dealing with much worse flooding than we are. But I'm seeing the roads washing out and people losing their homes. It's a weird mix we have here in Memphis. Down on Mud Island the people in danger of losing everything are the rich and privileged. Not far from them, though, are the poor, the lower classes, the people who really can't recover from this loss. Many of them, I know, don't have enough insurance, if any.

This already happened in Alabama with the tornadoes. A man was reported as having shouted at President Obama who cruised by in his limo, "I've lost my house, my car, I've lost everything. I don't know what I'm going to do. Help me!" The President didn't stop to help. I have no idea what happened to the man.

My house is out in The Boondocks, outside the Memphis city limits. After our last house we wanted to make sure we lived nowhere near the bottom of a hill or even a slight slope. You would think being at the bottom of a slight slope wouldn't be a big deal, but we found out otherwise every time it rained. I've heard that the person who bought our house from us experienced a flood like the sort we feared we would eventually have to endure. I can only imagine what that house or that neighborhood looks like now. Since moving I've never gone back to look at it again.

We're halfway up a long, sloping hill. Our yard drains away and flows down the roadside to someone else's yard, where it drains away to somewhere else. I have no idea where it goes after that. The point is, we don't flood here unless the water gets really, really high. That was no accident. But then, we could afford to make that kind of move, to get away from the flood waters, the drug dealing/police informant trash, and the rest of the darkness that was Redneckville, the corrupt little town just outside of Memphis where we were living before.

When the hurricane hit Louisiana and flooded New Orleans, I have to say, I was disappointed at how badly the whole thing was handled. When Australia flooded, the Aussies rose up and shouldered the burden of rebuilding. They'd done the same following the catastrophic fires of Melbourne in 2008. When Muslim terrorists took down the World Trade Towers in 2001, politics and corruption stopped the towers reconstruction so that today we still have nothing but ruins where American greatness once stood. Those towers should have been rebuilt many times over by now. It isn't the lack of American will that keeps them from being rebuilt. It's just corruption and bullshit. New Orleans is the same, only worse because their leaders aren't just crooked, but also utterly incompetent. And I fear that Memphis, should it face a true catastrophe, will also suffer the consequences of incompetence and corruption.

We've had mild flooding out here in the Boondocks, but we're a long way from the Mississippi. The Wolf River comes out this way and threatens us. But the Wolf River can't compare to the size and power of the Mississippi. I remember when people flooded into Memphis from New Orleans following hurricane Katrina. As poor and vicious as Memphis is, we opened our doors to them and helped them as best we could. They robbed us blind. They did the same in cities throughout the South where good-hearted people helped them out. After that experience, a lot of people become cynical. I worry that if the poor people of Memphis should ever need that kind of help, people will be reluctant to give it.

Hopefully, it won't get that bad, and we won't have to find out.


By the way, in case you're new here, I've got the love:

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