Punched Preacher Prays for Puncher

Modified for parody because this annoyed me, by Memphis Steve


TULSA, Okla. - A preacher who was punched in the face during a church service met with his alleged assailant, saying he wanted to pray for him.

The Rev. Billy Joe Daugherty, a man whose name is so Southern that his birth certificate has a rebel flag on it, said Tuesday that Steven Wayne Rogers showed no remorse and offered no apology during their meeting at the Tulsa Jail.

"He said he'd do whatever he wants, to whomever he wants, whenever he wants," Daugherty said.

Experts in criminal behavioral psychology indicate that forgiving a man with a viewpoint such as this is the worst possible thing you can do.

"Anyone who views the world in this manner is a cold blooded psychopath and needs to be imprisoned for the rest of their lives," self-appointed super expert Memphis Steve stated. "He likely picks on preachers because they misunderstand his reasons, thinking he is persecuting them for being Christians, and thus fail to press charges. He's persecuting them for being easy targets, not Christians. He will not stop until the Department of Justice nails him for having committed a hate crime, but they won't do it because Christians are specifically excluded from protections by these laws."

Rogers, 50, was identified as the asshole who came forward during an altar call near the end of Sunday's Victory Christian Center service, motioned for Daugherty to approach and then hit Daugherty twice, opening a cut above Daugherty's eye that required two stitches.

The episode was videotaped as part of the service and broadcast on TV news shows, jacking up ratings to an all-time high.

"I had just told the (biblical) story of Paul and Silas being beaten and thrown into jail (by the authorities, not a random psycho)," said Daugherty, whose church is one of Tulsa's largest.

"They were mistreated, but they praised God," he said. "I was talking about living a lifestyle of praise, through every situation. This (attack) was like an illustrated sermon."

"This attack was unrelated to the sermon," stated super know-it-all Memphis Steve. "Psycho Asshole didn't even listen to the sermon. He just came looking for an easy victim to sucker-punch on TV."

Daugherty said he returned to the stage following the attack, not knowing that his face was smeared with (his own) blood.

He also offered prayers.

"We immediately forgave the man and acknowledged that he didn't realize what he was doing," Daugherty said. "We prayed that God would help him."

How Daugherty concluded that the violent asshole didn't realize what he was doing is unknown, but seems to indicate that the preacher may be psychic.

"To conclude that Jackass didn't know what he was doing is to absolve him of any and all personal responsibility," Memphis blogger Steve said. "I don't think it is at all biblical as it would mean the man committed no sin. It's a way of avoiding conflict through self-deception. Jesus and his disciples never lied to themselves to avoid conflict. And the Apostle Paul most definitely never avoided conflict. This is almost cowardly, not Christian. The attacker will be free to do it again, and he will do it again. And as for praying for God to help the man, help him do what? Punch more preachers? I don't think God is going to go for that one, but I could be wrong."

Daugherty said he did not know his attacker and did not plan to press charges.

Police Sgt. Kim Presley said assault charges had not been filed and no report on the assault was on file.

"Well, what are we supposed to do," Kim said. "The guy thinks he's doing some kind of Christian act by letting the guy get away with it. I think he's misunderstanding the whole thing, but maybe that's just me."

However, Rogers remained in jail after being arrested Sunday on a bench warrant issued for failure to appear in court on a charge of violating a protective order.

Police said Rogers was cited Sunday for simple assault by a security guard at Victory who said he was struck while helping another guard control the situation, seemingly indicating that the assailant is not targeting preachers for being Christians and probably should be charged for all of these assaults.

Fifteen years ago, Rogers struck Richard Roberts, son of evangelist Oral Roberts, while Roberts was rehearsing for his "Richard Roberts Live" television show, the Tulsa World reported Wednesday. Roberts did not file charges. Only God knows why.
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