Not Christmas and Not New Year's yet

So, Christmas is over. One more come and gone. And the new year begins between Saturday and Sunday of this coming weekend. Meanwhile, I truly have nothing much to say. My life is currently in a state of uncertainty. I mean, it's certain that I am still physically alive, but as for the rest of my situation, my general status and all that, it's sort of up-in-the-air. This is one of the reasons that I haven't really known what to say here lately, and the main reason that I don't know what to say here now. I don't know what to say because I don't know what I'm going to do or which direction I'm going to go.

I have not forgotten about the Little Red Riding Hood rewrite. If you've been anxiously awaiting that, I'm rolling it around in my head, but so far nothing concrete has come out of it.

How about, for no particular reason, I write 10 Things I'd Like To Say to 10 people without identifying who those people are? Sometimes that's entertaining. Other times it's just ... wtf.

1. Yes, I understand where you're coming from. I certainly would not feel particularly loved or appreciated if the person I was married to valued a bunch of random stray animals over me and my health. But then they have always been like that. In fact, a lot of people are, mostly women, which is where the whole cat-lady stereotype comes from. I don't know what to say about it, but I can see that it really hurts you and I think we all fully understand that. We try to say something and point out how it might be unfair, unreasonable and downright hurtful, but it's sort of like talking English to someone who only understands Korean. The best I can say is, protect your health and let the animals go wild. Whatever they destroy, just make sure it isn't you. Perhaps when the back yard is being flooded by a now-bitten off faucet and there is no easy way to turn it off then that person might decide that their own convenience of not having to walk very far isn't really worth the cost. Perhaps.

2. I think my purpose in your life, my role, however brief, may be ending. I mean, no regrets. You have been a great friend to me. But I think my purpose may now be fulfilled as you appear to be on your path to happiness with the person you were meant to be with. I wish you all the best. If anyone 'deserves' happiness I think you do. I hope you find it and it all goes your way. You are a truly great person.

3. Seriously, all our lives we have known each other. All our lives. And yet I mean no more to you than your car in the driveway or a stray cat wandering the neighborhood. And sometimes I wonder if anyone does. I mean, I know your family does, but is there no one else?

4. I don't know what you want from me.

5. So you're determined to win this race, eh? Even if we desperately need someone better, someone who is who they say they are and not just a poser who moves in whatever direction the wind blows? Well, here's hoping you find the courage and integrity to be someone better if you win this thing, because if you get in there and sell us all out it's the end of the line for the shining city on a hill.

6. There's no pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. Wait, that's not a rainbow. That's just a trail of colorful smoke coming from the burning remnants of all my hopes and dreams.

7. Why don't you just kill me and get it over with? Or is that too much trouble? You're obviously busy and don't have time for me except on the bad days.

8. Isn't it odd how the people I once held onto so tightly as best friends never cared a thing for me at all and yet now I find some of the people who passed me in the halls without knowing me are today better friends than any I ever had before? Or maybe it isn't odd at all. Maybe I'm just an idiot. I say maybe, but there's really no maybe about it.

9. Squirrel!

10. As far as I can tell you have a bright future ahead of you. If you can just get through all the frustration of being so tightly controlled, and it won't last forever, then I think you're going to have a very happy and promising life. I certainly hope that you do. Surely there is at least one of us who might be permitted to fly?

Yeah, well, that's the best I could do. So there it is, about as random as it gets.

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Christmas

Merry Christmas!

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I Remember

I remember when I could go outside first thing in the morning and look down my street to see the morning paper in every single driveway. Now its just me. No one else gets the paper anymore.

I remember when the sky seemed so incredibly blue and the grass so green, the sun was so bright it was blinding. Now its all just gray.

I remember when it seemed like everyone had a mom and a dad and they lived together in the same house. And then one day, suddenly, it was as if a bomb exploded and half of every home was blown apart. Now a kid living with their own mom and their own dad is as rare as the morning paper in the driveway.

I remember believing that everyone was nice and wanted to help you. I remember believing the mailman was nice, and the garbage man, and the milkman, and even the policeman. I didn't even realize at the time that there was no such thing as milkmen anymore. After all, they were in all the storybooks. I remember when the police were called policeman and not police officer, and they were men. I remember believing that you were safe if a policeman was around.

I remember cars made of metal with chrome and doors that went THUNK when you closed them. The sound was so solid and reassuring. You knew you were safe inside that steel shell.

I remember women in dresses, but only just barely.

I remember when bullies punched you in the stomach or the face. And then one day feminist teachers at my school taught sexual assault against boys and the world became much different.

I remember when your coach was as respected as your preacher and neither one raped you in the ass.

I remember when people who assaulted a person's sexual organs were reviled rather than admired. And you couldn't show it on TV because it is obscene.

I remember beautiful women with long shiny hair.

I remember when my dad wore a tie to work every day.

I remember riding a purple bicycle to school early in the morning. I have no idea why I had a purple bicycle. I didn't choose it.

I remember when almost no one wore a seatbelt and child seats were only for babies.

I remember when everyone's mom had a giant stationwagon and no one thought there was anything wrong with that.

I remember thinking electric windows were neat because all my parents cars had manual windows.

I remember when we would install cassette decks in our cars in place of the factory radios, some of which were AM only.

I remember Members Only, polo shirts that fit way too tight, and tight jeans.

I remember when I believed I would one day have a good and secure job, a wife who loved me, and a family of my own which my wife and I would raise together. These were my major goals in life. These are what I always wanted and needed in order to be happy. And they still are.

I remember when I had faith that people were basically decent and good and I trusted them not to betray me.

I remember when I lost my faith.

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Bikini-clad Courtney Stodden straddles her Santa in the snow

You're definitely on the naughty list now! Bikini-clad Courtney Stodden straddles her Santa in the snowBy Amelia Proud

Last updated at 11:17 PM on 19th December 2011


It's usually heartening to see people getting into the Christmas spirit, be it the cheery flash of a novelty Snowman earring or the bigger gesture of hours spent at a soup kitchen, extra effort for Yuletide is always warmly regarded.

But trust teen bride Courtney Stodden, 17, and her husband Doug Hutchison, 51, to take things too far as they jump on the festive bandwagon to flaunt their May to December relationship.

The pair were thrown out of a pumpkin patch in the run-up to Halloween for displays of heavy petting that were rendered X-rated thanks to Courtney's skimpy shorts and shirt.

Tis the Season: To subvert a benevolent childhood hero, if you're Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, that is - the pair visited the Angeles National Forest in California on Friday to pose for these pictures

But for Christmas, the blonde has (of course) gone that one step further and stripped down to just a bikini; a metallic red two-piece to celebrate the birth of Christ.

You might argue that this 'sins of the flesh' incongruity shouldn't bother the teenager, but she claims to be a devout Christian and revealed in a recent interview with Zap2it that her favourite book is The Bible.

However, Father Christmas isn't a religious icon and therefore free for the couple to denigrate with their smutty snow escapades, safe in the knowledge that they won't risk upsetting religious groups, just hundreds and thousands of innocent children.

Jingle belle: Devout Christian Courtney Stodden wears a bikini to celebrate the festive period

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid: Oh yes there is, when Courtney and Doug are around

Hutchison, who is best remembered as the nasty prison officer in The Green Mile and creepy Eugene Tooms in The X Files, has brought a similarly macabre presence to the benevolent, child-friendly figure of selfless devotion.

Hidden almost completely by his Father Christmas costume, the man of an age who should know better posed with his semi-naked young bride in a series of troubling images.

About the only one not likely to give you nightmares is the image of Doug's Bad Santa handing presents to Stodden, the other poses ensure that you will jettison the usual cookies and milk this year, and then barricade the chimney.

He's behind you: Boo, hiss etc as Doug becomes more pantomime villain that philanthropic patriarch

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: The effect is less creepy when Doug's beard slips down

The couple play on the image - again, one that for years has been benign, innocent and the font of happy memories - of the young girl sitting on Santa's knee.

Doug also stands behind his wife as she wiggles her bum in his direction, and then there are those straddling shots.

Stodden has for days now been issuing lascivious come ons to Saint Nick on her Twitter, interspersed with excerpts from her favourite book, The Bible.

Finally, some gifts: Doug's Santa hands over some colour coordinated presents

Eyes full of tinsel and fire: Courtney blends in with her artfully posed gifts

It's now clear, if it wasn't always, that Doug is her Santa of choice.

She told Zap2it that her husband is her celebrity crush and when asked what her choice of superpower would be, she replied: 'I would find it breathtaking to be able to feel what it's like to fly... Wait. I'm already flying - flying on the wings of love!'

Stodden also revealed that she lives in seven inch stilettos from the moment she gets out of bed, even when she is hiking in Hollywood with her mother and dog.

And she admits that her friends make fun of her for being: 'A little too sexual.'

Happiness: Courtney is grateful for her personal Santa, which is good because it's doubtful the real one will be visiting

Waving goodbye: Courtney and Doug's seasonal 'treat' is at an end, heaven knows what they have planned for Easter

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2076268/Courtney-Stodden-wears-bikini-straddles-Santa-aka-Doug-Hutchison-snow.html#ixzz1h7BV6wPD

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Frying Friday

Police intentionally shoot girl in groin with Taser
In Allentown, Pennsylvania, a police officer grabbed a 14-year-old high school freshman from behind, slammed her against a car, then pushed away and drew his Taser. He aimed the Taser at her groin, which he admits was absolutely intentional, and fired. The girl was electrocuted through her genitals and fell to the ground.

The video of this is going viral all around the internet.


Apparently now it's copyrighted and we can't see it

There are numerous stories being reported about this already. The cop said he was told that students were walking in traffic and create chaos on previous occasions, so the police were called to put a stop to it. He says he yelled to her and she had her back to him and ignored him. He said she was cursing, which he defined as inciting a riot.

I have already commented numerous times about my feelings concerning the use and abuse of Tasers, as well as Taser's own encouragement of targeting the groin and genitals specifically. If you read this blog then you already know how I feel about this. I'm leaving it up to you to watch the video, read the articles detailing what happened, and make up your own mind.

The police department has made the usual statements excusing the officer's actions and indicating that this will happen again in the future. The girl was absolutely bombarded with criminal charges following to the incident. Reading the list of charges filed against her you would think she was wearing a bomb vest and waving a machine gun when she ran up and tackled the unsuspecting policeman. But the video shows nothing of the sort. What it shows is a human being, an American citizen and child, being grabbed from behind, slammed into a car and then shot point blank in the genitals for what appears to be no just cause at all. Clearly the office was not in fear for his life when he drew the weapon, aimed it at her genitals and fired it.

Not only that, but she can clearly be seen raising her hands and surrendering right before the officer shot her in the genitals, in the exact same manner as the wheelchair-bound man in San Francisco earlier this year who was shot twice in the testicles with a shotgun after surrendering, all of which was also caught on video.



But again, you decide and tell me what you think. The beginning part of the video apparently does not show what they were doing beforehand, or so some of the articles say. Perhaps we missed something. Is there anything you can think of the video could possibly have missed that would justify the shooting of a human being in the genitals at point blank range with the world's most popular torture device, a device which is known to have caused permanent and total destruction of the genitalia of numerous victims in addition to having killed over 400 people?

How many unarmed human beings have to be shot in the genitals by American police, or grabbed by the genitals and lifted off the ground screaming, before something is done about this rising tide of sexual violence, absolute indecency, and torture by authorities and pretty much anyone else who enjoys sexually hurting people, without the slightest response from lawmakers and judges?

---

Now, in an unrelated note, I've noticed something else that is really bugging the shit out of me.

Yes, yes, I just assume you all come here to read about what is bothering me and hear me bitch.

OK, but once you notice it I guarantee its going to piss you off, too. Take a look at this car, the Nissan Juke:


Higher, brighter, larger and in-your-face

Look at the headlights. No, not the giant round driving lights that are now located where the headlights should be. Look up higher, closer to eye-level with the driver of a normal car. Yeah, THAT'S the headlights up there, up where your eyes will be as you're driving towards this monstrosity in your normal car. Those are the retina-searing laser HID headlights that are blinding drivers all over the world. The giant super-bright lights below are just parking lights, or driving lights, although they come on all the time to maximize the asshole-effect of this optical assailant.

This asshole-effect is important. The way these headlight systems work, the higher they are relative to other drivers, the more damage they do to your eyes when directed at you. They are 10 times brighter than normal lights, but the law only regulates the light they throw straight ahead, and even that is too high. They can throw as much light as they want at a slightly downward angle. Thus, the car companies can legally fry your eyes as long as the measured light projected straight ahead is below a level slightly less than the sun (seriously.) Lights mounted higher can emit as much light as possible downward into your face and the law doesn't care. So pickups and SUVs can legally blind us all because their lights can be mounted higher than a car's roof. The poor cars, though, are being left out. So that's why the manufacturers are now mounting the HID headlights up as close to windshield level as they can figure out how to do. They'll be putting them up on the roof soon if they can get away with it.

It isn't just this one Nissan car that has done this, raising the headlights up as high as possible to blind other drivers, while also installing the literally blinding Xenon HID system to make absolutely certain that every other driver on the road is blinded by them. It's nearly all the car manufacturers who are trying to figure ways to do this now. And for those of us who have to do a lot of night driving it is a major problem.

The worst offenders are the SUVs and pickup trucks. The systems I'm encountering in the full-sized pickup trucks are single-bulb on each side and when these trucks flash their brights at other cars there is absolutely no difference between their low and high-beam settings. They are EXACTLY the same literally blinding brightness. This means they are blinding everyone else on the road all the time and can't turn their ridiculous lights down even if they wanted to.

And lawmakers are doing absolutely nothing about it.


I'm gonna fry the eyeballs right out of your head

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Wednesday

This was going to be a Wordless Wednesday post, but I couldn't manage it even though I don't have anything specific I need to say. I've been swamped at work and busy after work, so I haven't been able to write as much as I usually do. I haven't been able to do a lot of things lately. Basically I go to work early, work late, then go home and watch TV while practicing guitar. I still suck at the guitar, by the way, just in case you were on the edge of your seat wondering about that.

I'm under a lot of stress. What else is new? I have several different ideas in my head for what to do with Little Red Riding Hood, but none that just grab me with excitement as being THE idea. I'll write something, though, just as soon as I can. It takes a lot of hours. I just haven't had them available.

Christmas is coming and there is a lot of chaos surrounding that right now. I don't know if I'm staying here and working through it or going to visit family in Georgia or what. I may end up spending Christmas alone. New Year's too. We'll see. I have a lot to think about.

In the news, Herman Cain was run out of the presidential race by a typical sex-accusation attack. Apparently it had started to get to Herman's wife, so he dropped out of the race even though he was winning. Perhaps this helps to explain why America has such a void in the leadership department? Anyone worth having as a leader can always be assassinated with false accusations and lies. Only a true politician of the sort that makes for a poor leader is prepared to handle such things. Sad for us all because it means we will likely only ever see inferior men take the most important positions in the nation. Michelle Bachmann, meanwhile, has been under constant attack of the sort I thought only Muslim terrorists would stoop to. Gay Leftists have been using children to hit Michelle Bachmann with obviously scripted questions about gay marriage that mislead and misdirect as to what the real issue is. Typical. Most likely we are going to end up with yet another party man, a lying sack of shit who promises whatever and delivers only a larger and more overbearing federal government, while solving no problems. We are on a road to disaster.

Meanwhile, in the TV world, TLC has been running an obvious Muslim propaganda piece called "All American Muslim" that comes straight out of Hitler's own playbook. Considering how much of what is shown on television is pure political propaganda, either feminist or gay or black, and always socialist, this really doesn't surprise me at all. I don't watch it anyway. I've been busy. But I do hear that some companies have pulled their ads from TLC over this show. That's a rare display of testicular fortitude from America's corporations. It won't last long, though, if recent history is any guide. They'll all be back, voicing their full support for the show and seeking to placate the Muslim terrorists by burning Christian symbols during Ramadan. Wait and see.

The news media has been trying to make stories out of shit that isn't a story at all. For example, a church in Butthole, Kentucky with maybe 60 members argued over disallowing mixed race couples. No one gives a shit. A fraternity in Vermont made a joke about "who would you like to rape" and got the feminists' grannie panties all in a giant wad. A school teacher removed the word "gay" from a Christmas song when her students wouldn't stop giggling every time they sang it. The Press is all over this shit. They think it matters.

Meanwhile, the NTSB, a Federal Agency with a huge budget and nothing legitimate to do with the money has ordered all the states to outlaw cell phone use while driving. Not just texting, mind you, but any use of a cell phone of any kind. That includes hands-free conversations. As for the Xenon headlights that have apparently burned my retinas and caused me vision problems, not a single fucking word about those from the Nationional Transportation Safety Board. They are fucking blinding drivers coming in the opposite direction at high speeds, but not a single thing has been said or done about them. Nope. And as a result of these blinding lights, more American drivers than ever before are habitually driving with their high beams on because they see everyone else doing it and not getting ticketed for it, so they think it's legal now. I guess if Xenon headlights are legal maybe it is legal to drive around with your high beams on. There is no difference between high and low when those fuckers with the Xenon lights flash their brights at all the drivers flashing to tell them to turn them off except when they have dual headlamp systems where there is actually a separate bulb for the brights, in which case their brights are more blinding than a camera flash, except they don't turn off right away.

So anyway, that's all I've got time for. I have to sleep. Good night!


News that couldn't possibly matter any less

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First look inside bombshell Lindsay Lohan's nude Playboy shoot

By Daily Mail Reporter

Last updated at 10:49 PM on 12th December 2011


The cover of the highly anticipated issue leaked early and we have already seen a behind the scenes shot of Lindsay Lohan dressed only in a silk dressing gown on the set of the shoot.

But now the men's magazine has released the first shot of the actress from the inside spread - and it is clear Lindsay is channelling her inner blonde bombshell.

The 24-year-old actress is seen reclining with her white blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders, her arm raised above her head.

Lindsay the blonde bombshell: The first shot from Miss Lohan's Playboy spread has been released

With her red glossy lips parted, Lindsay is seen pouting and staring into the camera with her eyes partially hidden under her huge eyelashes.


Fans of the magazine will no doubt feel short changed by the 'nude shot' which reveals only a hint of her chest.

While plenty of flesh is on show is seems her skin has been airbrushed considerably in parts with few freckles on show.

Good career move? Lindsay Lohan is snapped in a gold dressing gown with a cigarette behind-the-scenes of her Playboy photoshoot

Yestersay a snap showing Lindsay on the set of the photoshoot was revealed.

The Mean Girls actress was captured before the airbrush, clutching a cigarette and teasing onlookers as her dressing gown gaped open.

With her Marilyn Monroe locks cascading down her shoulders, LiLo clearly looks striking - but there is something uncomfortable about the image; a little girl lost beneath lashings of red lipstick and a confused expression.

The picture highlights just how petite Lohan is, with her super slender legs poking out beneath the hemline and thighs the same width as her calves.

Her latest endeavour: Lindsay graces the January/February cover of Playboy

LiLo's issue was due to be released in January, but Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has now revealed it may be available next week.

The original': Lindsay's shoot was inspired by celebrity photographer Tom Kelley's nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe, shot in 1949 for a calendar before featuring in the first edition of Playboy in 1953

Taking to Twitter, Hefner said: 'Because of the interest and the internet leak, we're releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early. Lindsay Lohan was the top search name on the internet yesterday. Hot Hot Hot.'

Lindsay received a reported $1million to bare all in the men's magazine.

Meanwhile, further drama has unfolded for Lohan after her handbag was stolen yesterday in Hawaii.

Hours later the Chanel handbag was returned, but it was said to be $10,000 lighter than when it went missing.

The 25-year-old jetted off to the island paradise to take a break from her community service stint at the Los Angeles County morgue, after first getting permission to travel from her probation officer.

Lindsay's spokesman, Steve Honig, has confirmed to the Mail Online that the star's purse was indeed stolen and has now been returned.

Honig said: 'Everything was still in the purse, except the cash she was carrying with her.'

Lohan claims that the items were stolen from the white convertible Jeep that she has been driving around the island during her stay.

According to TMZ, the bag contained her passport, probation paperwork giving her permission to be in the islands and $10,000 cash.

Chilling out: Lindsay has been in Hawaii and was seen watching a surf competition with friends yesterday

Crime: Lindsay was the victim of a thief over the weekend who stole her Chanel handbag out of her Jeep before returning it minus $10,000

Lindsay is expected to return to California this week, but without a government issued ID, she would not have been able to fly.

Lindsay and her sister Ali have been taking in the scenery and enjoying the picturesque setting in Hawaii.


The troubled starlet is scheduled to appear in court on Wednesday in Los Angeles for a status hearing.

The January/ February issue of Playboy hits shelves on Friday.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2073285/Lindsay-Lohan-Playboy-photos-First-inside-shot-revealed.html#ixzz1gOzfBmPi

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Undies-only LFL football players strip for new anti-fur campaign

Now they're not even wearing lingerie! Undies-only LFL football players strip for new anti-fur campaign

By Daily Mail Reporter

Last updated at 12:19 AM on 11th December 2011


PETA have a new weapon in their war on animal cruelty - beautiful, scantily-clad women.

Ladies who play in the Lingerie Football League have joined forces with the animal welfare group for a new anti-fur campaign.

Members of the Toronto Triumph team decided to lend their support by stripping for the cause.

Scroll down for video

Getting the message across: Four anti-fur members of the Toronto Triumph team

In one photo, the girls are covered by a helmet, football and a couple of shoulder pads with the four players going bare with the field as their backdrop.

Another photo features the players in their skimpy uniforms with the headline Tackle Cruelty: Bench Fur.

The players even took part in a PETA demonstration at Toronto's Eaton Center earlier this week, the Huffington Post reports.

The idea is to encourage people not to buy Christmas gifts that involve fur.

The four women also took part in a video where they urge people not to put fur on their holiday shopping lists.

Colourful bunch: The athletes in their orange and white team colours

One Toronto Triumph player said in the video: 'When you wear that fur jacket you don't ever really think about, "What happened to this animal for me to be putting this on?"'

But not all the video is easy on the eyes. It also shows rabbits being electrocuted and circus elephants being whipped.

PETA Campaigner Emily Lavender said: 'Wearing fur is a personal foul.

'With so many stylish, warm, and durable fabrics available today, there's no excuse for wearing anyone's skin.'

On its websire, PETA actually gives fashion tips with its cruelty-free clothing guide.

Now watch the video. WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2072627/Lingerie-Football-League-players-strip-PETAs-new-anti-fur-campaign.html#ixzz1gFE3j5PH

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Veteran exhibitionist Kate Moss never tires of stripping for Pirelli calendar

She's at it again: Veteran exhibitionist Kate Moss never tires of stripping for Pirelli calendar

By Daily Mail Reporter

Last updated at 2:56 PM on 9th December 2011


She's more famous for keeping her clothes on, or modelling them that is.

But Kate Moss has stripped down to nothing for an appearance in Pirelli's 2012 calendar.

The Croydon-born supermodel, 37, lets it all hang out for the new publication which also features a number of other models who have also shed their clothing in the name of 'art'.

Supermodel behaviour: Kate Moss poses for a stunning shot featured in the Pirelli 2012 calendar

In the stunning black and white photograph, Kate reclines on a rocky surface using her experience as a supermodel to remain professional and appear as comfortable as if she was perched on a soft cushion and not a hard slab of rock.


The calendar was shot by Mario Sorrenti and also features a topless Lara Stone, wife of David Walliams, and naked Milla Jovovich - its 25-photo spread includes 18 black-and-whites and seven coloured pictures.

This year's calendar was shot in Corsica by the legendary Italian photographer, who chose his muses very carefully.

Taking things lying down: Lithuanian model Edita Vilkeviciute reclines on some rocks but maintains an air of comfort throughout

Mario - who used to be a model before moving behind the camera, and also shot Scarlett Johansson for Mango this year - has known Kate and Milla since they were starting out in the fashion industry as teenagers.

In fact Milla feels so confident with him that she said recently: 'Mario is pretty much the only person I would take my clothes off for'.

These shots are likely to be the only ones most mere mortals will be able to view.

'Not sexy': Margareth Made pulls a pose for the calendar which is distributed exclusively among VIPs

Since it's inception in 1964, Pirelli has instructed leading photographers to capture the world's most beautiful women on film for the exclusive calendar solely as a gift for royalty, celebrities and VIP customers.

Pirelli's calendar, dubbed "The Cal," was unveiled to media and collectors in New York at The Armory, its unveiling coupled with an exclusive, black-tie VIP dinner.

According to USA Today, Mario Sorrenti is the first Italian photographer to shoot the illustrious spread for the tyre manufacturers.

Life's a beach: Saskia De Brauw curls up on the sand for another artsy shot

He is renowned for shooting classic and, most importantly, classy nude editorials, which is no doubt the reason behind him being chosen to shoot this year's photographs.

But he insisted that, despite the nudity, the 2012 calendar is not sexy.

He told Women's Wear Daily: 'You know, originally I thought I was going to do very sexy pictures, and when we got there I realized that I didn't want the pictures to be sexy at all.'

'I meant that they're not 'obviously' sexy. I didn't want them to be posing and arching and like sticking their boobs in my face or anything like that.

Birthday suit: Perfectly formed Russian model Natasha Poly poses like a fountain statue

'I thought that's what I wanted, that it would give the most immediate impact, but then I realized that wasn't important.... I was trying to just really focus on them and the environment and let that blossom together somehow.'

According to reports the models and crew all stayed together in houses on Corsica, while Sorrenti spent 'the morning with one girl and the evening with another, and we'd all have dinner together'.

The theme, chosen by Sorenti was 'swoon', for which he explained: 'In "swoon", I put the bodies in direct contact with Nature, which harbours them as if they were its extension, in a set of images where rocks, land, tree trunks, sky and sea are all turned into a backdrop for the bodies.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2071336/Kate-Moss-Lara-Stone-Milla-Jovovich-topless-Pirellis-2012-calendar.html#ixzz1g4bsGMND

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The Winner Is

The People have spoken and they have chosen Little Red Riding Hood as the next Memphis fairy tale.


The Winner - Red!

So, it's Christmas right now and my time is divided between a large number of things, but I shall endeavor to crank out this twisted version of the ancient children's story just as fast as I can. Maybe if it goes well I'll take whatever fairy tale was number 2 in the poll and rewrite it, too. We'll see.

Thank you for voting, and for even caring whether I wrote anything or not.

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The Gorgeous Carmen Leigh

The Gorgeous Carmen Leigh

www.carmen-leigh.com You can follow Carmen Leigh on Twitter here 

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StreetzInctv Presents one of the UK's hottest Models, Carmen leigh. Shooting for the Us magazine 'Stunnaz Magazine'. Dont forget to check out Carmens website and follow her on Twitter for all the latest moves this hottie is making in the game. @MsLeighBaby. www.carmenleigh.com & facebook.com/carmenleighuk

Giggs Monsta-Stunnaz Magazine Shoot UK: Carmen Leigh

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Oops Nicki Minaj nipple slip on Good Morning America

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Aisika Mai at 504 dymes

Aisika Mai

Check me out on #TEAMRATEDNEXT #504dymes, great team and cool people I love working with! add coolv fb pages and go to 504dymes.com to see more hot girls ;) Coolv Blowsthewhistle Charles Wiley

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This Week in the News

Presidential candidate Herman Cain is under constant attack by Democrat operatives claiming he sexually harassed them, had a sexual affair with them, raped them, produced Satan's child through them, sacrificed goats with them, pretty much anything the Democrats can pull out of their ass is being thrown at Mr Cain. I thought they were vicious to Michelle Bachmann, the lone female candidate, but that was nothing compared to the raw hatred the Demos are firing at Herman Cain, the only black candidate. (No, I don't count Obama as black. Deal with it.)


Democrats go after Herman Cain with a vengeance

A computer scientist has revealed that virtually all smart phones have software installed on them that track not only our every move, but our every keystroke, as well. And then they report this information back to the company that provides your phone service. I had been cursing the hell out of my Blackberry for the ridiculous amount of time it spends ignoring me because it's too busy talking back and forth to the server. I couldn't figure out what it could possibly be saying that took so damn long. I guess now I know. Bastards!


Can't text now, busy reporting your passwords to Big Brother

Even though the Demos in the Press are virtually stringing up Herman Cain like their ancestors in the Ku Klux Klan used to do, that doesn't mean they aren't still taking cheap shots at Michelle Bachmann. They planted a high school student in one of her audiences and had him hit her with a bullshit question about gay "rights", worded in a way that assumes gay people in America don't have the exact same rights as everyone else, the very definition of 'equal rights'. They fear her because she's smarter than Obama, which doesn't take much, but she will take the hetero female vote away from him. Obama can't win with just the black and gay vote. And with the way they're lynching Herman Cain he may not even have the black vote for much longer.


I'll answer your bullshit question and impress voters as I do it

Apple's new Siri, the (of course) female voice on the new 4S phones that answers questions, gives advice and will tell you where to find businesses near your location if you ask, is under fire. It seems that feminists are drilling her with lots of PC questions and discovered that she has a glitch which they instantly declared a 'conspiracy to keep the woman down!' Siri can't find abortion clinics. If you tell her you want an abortion and need an abortionist, she says "I can't find one." Perhaps that's because in the everything-is-political United States, all abortion clinics are mislabeled 'family planning' clinics, and abortionists are called 'family planning doctors?' So if you ask Siri for a family planning clinic she has no problem answering. But if you ask her for an abortion, the intentionally misnamed and miscategorized clinics don't show up in her database as a valid answer. Don't blame Siri. Blame the American abortion industry that works so hard to hide what it is and what it does.


Feminists attack Siri

Government Motors' much touted and Obama-mandated Chevy Volt is (as expected) a big pile of shit. It catches fire when hit from the side, sometimes showing no indication that it is going to burst into flames for as much as 3 whole days, giving the owner time to get it to a bodyshop and have them pull it inside before it explodes like a terrorist's bomb and burns the whole place to the ground. And now the power chords are melting while recharging the damn cars. Its a good thing no one is buying these things anyway because if they did it could cause some serious problems.


The Chevy Volt - 230 mpg, 451 degrees Fahrenheit

A tiny church with only 40 members located in the middle of Nowhere, Kentucky, voted to ban interracial marriages at their church. The Left-Wing Press, believing that nothing else other than Siri not being able to perform abortions was more important than this story, has been covering it like mad all week long. The fact that a church is a private group of individuals and can vote to do just about anything they want, which has no impact on anyone outside of that group, seems to have escaped the understanding of the Media. Also escaping the perpetually bitchy American Press was that the church vote to do this was in response to a couple that only attended once, with the female of the couple being only barely associated with the church and her boyfriend not being a member at all, and even that vote hasn't been settled. The church members are still fighting over it, with most of them refusing to vote on it at all, and only 15 of them participating in the issue. Yet somehow THIS is the biggest news story of the week in the United States of PMS.


This is CNN

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