A Quiz or Meme or Survey or Something

Be honest, who texted you last?

Mafia Wars from Facebook texted me last to tell me I was just killed. SO AWESOME!

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?

Closed and locked with a loaded gun nearby. Seriously. You think I'm making this shit up, but I'm totally not. Think about it, what's my name - MEMPHIS Steve. So where do I stay at? That's right - Memphis. Load up Now you know.

Do you drink tea?

I drink tea if there isn't any coffee and for some reason tea is available, but that hasn't been the case in many, many years so ... I drink iced tea now. Sometimes.

Do you have plans for tomorrow?

I plan to drive to work through ice and snow and salt and crashed cars with my truck in 4-wheel-drive cause everything is expected to be frozen solid including the roads.

What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips?

Athletes foot and jock itch both beat those hands down.

Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?

A bit, yes, because Dad is dead and Mom is 70-something and not particularly friendly towards men.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?

You know, it really depends on what time of the year it is and where in Canada or California exactly. I'd very much like to see Vancouver, BC, Canada, but if it's the dead of winter and there isn't something going on, like the winter X-Games or something, then maybe it'd be better to make the winter vacation to California, preferably southern California, like maybe San Diego. Anyway, I hear the girls are incredibly beautiful in southern California AND Vancouver, so either one is a win.

Do you want to get married?

I don't know. I think I did that already.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?

I'm wearing torn jeans and it isn't sexy.

So, what if you married the last person you texted?

I'm sure they'd be very surprised.

Last person you told a secret to?

I have no life, so I guess as a consequence of that I have no secrets to tell.

What are you listening to at the moment?

G4's Attack of the Show has the woman who plays the queen of the Vs on and she's being interviewed. She's talking about how she has an account on Twitter, @missmorenab, but she doesn't know how to act on there because she doesn't want people to dislike her for being as sarcastic and foul-mouthed as she actually is in real life.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?

Yesterday I fell asleep sitting in a chair at a neighbor's house and I think I snored a little.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?

I don't know. It depends.

Are relationships ever really worth it?

I feel like I'm back in 8th grade here. Yes, a good relationship is worth it. Sometimes a bad one is even if only to help you learn to avoid such people and abuse in the future.

Do you believe in love?

Isn't that a song by Huey Lewis? Do you believe in love - you're making me believe it too

When was the last time you saw your father?

Well, I saw him in a dream a few nights ago, but other than dreams I haven't seen him since he was in the hospital just before he died.

Have any memories that you’d like to forget?

Yes, I think they call those "flashbacks" and they relate to past trauma and shit.

Is there someone you really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?’

I hang out with just about anyone who wants to hang out with me. So many friends are busy so why be snobby about it, right? If you're free and want to hang out, just let me know.

Have you ever been called prince or princess?


Do you think teenagers can be in love?

Sure, my grandparents married when they were teens and stayed together until he died many long years later

How fast does your mood change?

Normally not that fast. It depends on what happens to change it exactly. One sexist speech from Hillary Clinton and I can go from happy-go-lucky to totally pissed off in an instant.

How are you feeling?


Do you want someone to call you right now?

No, its 1 am and I want to go to bed

What do you always take with you?

My penis and them testicles

Is your bed comfortable?

Its like a wet sponge that you slowly sink into as the night progresses, so that you wake up in a hole and have to fight to climb out.

Would you say you’re an understanding person?

What?? I don't speak moron. Engrish only, fool!

Are you generally a happy person?

Less so lately, but who knows what tomorrow may bring?

Who’s in your profile picture with you?

My invisible parrot. Arrrrr!

Were you single on Valentines Day?

Not legally.

What is the last movie you watched?

Wild Things 3, I think. I may have the title wrong. I don't know. What's the movie that made Charlie Sheen's ex-wife famous? I think it was Wild Things. Anyway, it was a cheap film that made a lot of money, so they made like a billion sequels. I saw the third one.

Do you listen to songs when you’re done?

Done watching Wild Things 3? No, I think I went to bed and dreamed I was a rich Florida man chasing 17-year-old girls who were plotting my murder.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night?

Normally it takes about 15 minutes, but the night most of the snow fell this week I couldn't sleep at all. The light reflecting off the snow made it look like morning outside.

Are you talkative?

Not so much

Were you single last summer?

I was mostly alone, but not single.

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