Stop picking on me, you nasty old bitches!
Elizabeth Hasselbeck has finally figured out that the reason she is the only non-communist on The View is because fanatical morons enjoy ganging up on everyone else for a good brown-shirt-like gang-bang. Not only is she the youngest, but she's also the only one who isn't dead fucking ugly, so you know the other bitches are steaming with jealousy over her. Of COURSE they gang up on her. They'd rip out her hair and tear her clothes if they thought the audience would cheer for it. And in fact, the audience being a bunch of empty-headed morons who only wandered in because Maury Povich isn't on, probably would cheer. Still, it's not like Elizabeth has so many options other than this pathetic piece-of-shit show. She might as well stick around and keep cashing her paychecks for as long as she can. Revenge is best served cold and the best revenge she can get is to stay for several more seasons and watch the other bitches wrinkle up like prunes and get fat. She doesn't have to say a word to piss them off. She just has to be prettier than they are. Mission accomplished.
Oh damn, I'm all out of vodka. Guess I'll go for a drive!
Heather Locklear was busted for drunk driving in California. I don't know why they still make it illegal to drink and drive in California. Hell, in a state where anything goes you'd think they'd be a little more 'tolerant'. But no, they love their drugs and hate people who drink, especially when they're rich and famous. Anyway, all she has to do to get out of the ticket is marry some Lindsay Lohan wannabe and the press will suddenly love on her so much that the judge will be too afraid to punish her.
House of Biatches kills Bailout Bill
Oh well, most of the time, especially where money is involved, the less the U.S. Government gets involved, the better. If there's one sure way to take something bad and make it much, much worse, it's to let the fucking Government stick their noses in and throw our money at it. I heard the Democrats were cheering all day yesterday at the news of how far down the stock market was diving while the House was voting to kill the bill. That pretty much tells you all you need to know about their priorities, but I can't say the death of the bill was a bad thing.
Oh no, we might have to work this out for ourselves!
I'm blog hopping a lot lately. There hasn't been enough action in the comments around here to keep me occupied, so I've gone whoring it up elsewhere. Most are in my blogroll and the rest are going to be. Some good ones where I've drank up all their beer and passed out at are:
The Whine Guide - you better have a thick skin if you want to hang out with Fingers. He'll rip you a new one and then insult your mother before you've barely just walked in the door. It's fun in a pay-you-to-hurt-me sort of way. But then, you know about my mother, right? Yeah, drinks are on me.
Elegantly Wasted - OK, so this blog is private unless Kylie decides to invite you. But if you can find her and get in, it's a blast. Kylie isn't half as wild as the people who comment there, but she's got a reputation to uphold and we've all got just enough money for drinks to help her do it. Take it off, Kylie! Yeah, dance on the bar like a stripper! WOOOOOOO! OK, so she hasn't stripped for us, but I'm working on it.
What's This On My Hand - Jobe is a funny man. Today he's written about his latest poop. Sound familiar? My kind of blog.
Mommy Has A Headache - You all know Emma, right? Surely you've visited her before. She's got that dry British way of crapping on something and seeming just so proper and polite as she does so. I love that. I steal her silverware while I'm over there and she doesn't even try to stop me.
Steph Does Blogger Again - 2 years ago a blogger named Steph was whoring it up all over the internet and leaving insulting comments on my blog. Then, from out of nowhere, another Steph appeared. I could tell instantly that something was odd, because the comments from new Steph were sooo nice. Then, for no apparent reason, Original Steph just up and disappeared. 2 years later I was e-married to New Steph and she was leaving me crying as she exited The Blog for other pursuits. Wouldn't you know, just as she was telling me she didn't love me anymore and walking out my door, Original Steph returned. Check her out. If you're expecting nice and ladylike, you're in for a shock. Snarky doesn't even begin to cover it.
Clyde Beside the Sea - Clyde is a real ladies' man. He was just writing the other day about his appreciation for women's breasts. He offers free breast exams, not because he's a perv, but simply because he cares. What a nice guy!
Storm in a Teacup - Jen is a settled down, happy Aussie wife and mother who writes about life from her own unique perspective. Sound like a Hallmark movie? Well, imagine if they cussed a lot. Then throw in some sarcasm. Then get rid of the Hallmark part. There you go.
Emunctory - Unique Stephen, you've heard of him, right? He's here from time to time. Just the other week a tree fell on his vehicle and exploded into splinters. Before that, he was putting out fires and posting photos that someone who was apparently afraid to fight the fire themself, but happy to photograph him as he did it, took of his adventures. He's seen more of America than I have, and he doesn't even live here.
OK, so that's enough for today I suppose. I know I've forgotten to mention some other good ones. Shrinking Kitty, Josh, and several others. Anyway, go check'em out. Tell'em I sent you. Then come back and tell me if they threw anything at you when you mentioned me.
The NEW Democratic Party - no grrlz allowed!
And now for something I used to listen to all the freakin' time ...
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