Someone sent me this survey on MySpace. I don't know why, but it occured to me that I should post it here. Today this decision makes less sense, but what the hell?
1.) Where were you when the ball dropped for 2006?
I don't remember.
2.) How did you get the idea for your MySpace name?
I already owned it on another site and I, being a genius, reused it here even though the whole point was to have no connection between the two sites. Yeah, DUUUUUUH.
3) What are you listening to right now?
The sound of the harddrive in my Dell PC going "whirrrrrrrrr."
4.) Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
No, but seeing the photos of Steve Irwin's wife Terri crying almost did. And one time, seeing a photo of Carmen Electra in a really tight dress almost made me cry.
5.) What color underwear are you wearing?
Underwear?
6.) Do you live in a zoo?
No, more like a ministorage with carpet and cable TV. We need less crap or more house, dammit.
7.) What did you do this morning?
Emailed ESPN about their anti-male harassment on Monday Night Football and then emailed WaMu about their anti-white-male commercials. Yeah, I was a bundle of laughs this morning.
8.) What's going on this weekend??
Um .... biking maybe at Shelby Farms or Shelby Forrest? Yeah, maybe.
9.) Is your car dirty?
Which one? I have 4. Some of them are. One is too ugly to qualify as simply dirty. It should have a special category
10) Do you have your own place?
Yes, a brick house with 2 cats and a wife.
11) What are the last two digits of your phone number?
1-1 .... and the first digit is 9
12.) What was the last concert you attended?
Um ..... I can't remember. But it was good. :)
13.) Who was with you?
I can't remember, but she was wild.
14.) What was the last movie you watched?
What the hell was it called? Mall Rats? I think that's right. It had the guy who plays "Earl" and the guy who plays "Randy" on "My Name Is Earl", only they were about 20 years old.
15.) Who do you dislike at the moment?
The president of ESPN, whoever she is.
16.) What food do you crave right now?
Something unhealthy, but I don't know what specifically. Someone keeps talking on my page about donuts so I guess that's probably it.
17.) Did you dream last night?
I barely even slept last night.
18.) What was the last TV show you watched?
Monday Night Femmeball - a pathetic match between a wheelchair-bound Philadephia Eagles team and an elderly Green Bay Packers. Both teams were practically crippled. (Yes, this was a few weeks ago, to be sure.)
19.) What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
Jewelry? I have no idea.
20.) Name someone on your Top 8 who is just like you?
There is no one quite like me. You can take that any way you like.
21.) What is the last thing you ate?
Carmen Electra
23.) Who last IMed you?
No one since last night, and she barely talked to me. I don't think she wants to talk anymore. (She later told me her power went out.)
24.) Are you on any medication?
Not at the moment, but I was thinking of taking steroids and getting as huge as an SUV.
25.) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
My side. And she sleeps on her side.
26.) What color shirt are you wearing?
Blueish gray.
27) What color is your razor?
Black with flecks of red which coincidentally contain my DNA.
28.) What is your favorite frozen treat?
Rocky Road ice cream, but not from Ben and Jerry's.
29.) How many tattoos or piercing do you have?
My only piercing is from an iron lawn couch that was in Tony King's front yard courtesy of his crazy grandmother who stored ALL of her furniture at their house instead of at her own house. So she left this black iron thing in the yard and it was midnight and pitch black outside. And I was running. And I ran right into it with my shin. And did you know that there is nothing between the skin on the front of your shin and your leg bone? Not one thing. Just blood, that's all. And the blood comes pouring out like a fountain, too. wheeeee!
30.) What are your favorite stores?
Lowe's and the Summit Racing Showroom in Atlanta
31.) Are you thirsty right now?
Yes, can I have a drink?
32.) Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
Let me go ask my wife.
33.) Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
Elvis, Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, Jim Morrison, and Carmen Electra
34.) What did you do last night?
Watched football. Did we not already have this discussion? (again, few weeks ago)
35.) Do you care what people think about you?
Which people?
36.) Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Well, there was this one time, at band camp ....
37) Do you like your nose?
I'd like it better if it worked like it's supposed to.
38.) What color is your bedroom?
Navajo white - yeeeeeeeHA!
39.) When was the last time you worked out?
Yesterday I ran 4 miles and blogged about it, which you would know if you ever read my damned blog.
41.) Do you like pedicures?
I have no idea
42.) Where do you live?
In hell
43.) Are you an aggressive driver?
That's all relative to the other drivers on the road. I've never rammed another car and shoved them out into traffic, which a fucker did to me with his momma's SUV in Germantown. And I've never gotten in the fast lane and just driven as slowly as possible to see if I could piss off EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ROAD. I'd say I'm pretty moderate. And I'm counting passive aggressives as aggressive, because they are, they're just chicken-shit cowards about it.
44.) Who is your cell phone carrier?
Cingular
45.) Do you like the person who posted this last?
Yes, she's a hoot.
46.) Do you know their Birthday?
Nope
47.) Are there kids in your future?
I used to think so, but these days I just wonder ...
48.) What color is your car?
blue, white, yellow, black and green. I already told you I have 4 of them.
49.) What do you smell like right now?
Sweaty farts. Yeah, you think I'm kidding.
50.) What is your favorite color?
Red
51.) Do you like mustard?
Sure, but not on steak or pancakes.
52.)What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
God isn't here. Fix it yourself.
53.)Would you ever sky dive?
Sure, why not?
54.)What do you sleep on?
A bed. What did you think I slept on?
55.)What character from a movie/TV/radio most reminds you of yourself?
Hmmm, I picked Elvis, or perhaps Elvis picked me? Maybe it's all a spiritual message from beyond and not a random thing at all? Maybe I'm supposed to do something? I hear his voice ... "go ... slap .... Lisa .... Marie ... for .... doing ..... Michael .... Jackson." Hmm, what do you suppose that means?!
56.)Have you ever won anything?
Basketball trophies, track trophies, soccer fights
57.) What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant?
Nothing whatever.
58.) Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Why, is Angelina Jolie looking for one?
59.) Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?
BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
60.) Do you own a digital camera?
Yes, and if you're wanting those nude photos back all I can say is that if you're going to regret it later then you should have drank less last night.
61.) What celebrities have you been compared to?
Glenn Campbell, Bill Cosby, Madonna, Johnny Depp, and Jenna Jameson (Hi Jenna!)
62.)Who is your favorite Star Wars character?
Leah in the bikini. When she's not in the bikini, assuming she wasn't naked, then Darth Vader. Luke became SUCH a wuss in Empire Strikes Back. "I sense the good in you, Father." Yeah, somebody slap that boy.
63.)Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
Yes, isn't that why they do it?
64.) What books, if any, have made you cry?
Pretty much any hardback that is thrown with enough force.
66.) Are you a jealous person?
No, just relentlessly vengeful. KIDDING
67.) Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat?
Why, do you feel guilty after beating it?
68.) What would your name have been if you had been born the opposite sex?
Clitoris Valencia Pigg
69.)If you could date any celebrity who would it be?
Keira Knightley
70.) Did you enjoy this survey?
It was good for me. Was it good for you?
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