The struggle to feel beautiful in an airbrushed world: More than 150 'normal' women of all shapes and sizes pose naked for project to embrace their bodies
PUBLISHED: 04:58, 23 February 2013 | UPDATED: 06:07, 23 February 2013
In a world where women are bombarded with Photoshopped images of supermodels in magazines and perfectly sculpted specimens on the runway, one photographer has made it his mission to glorify the natural beauty of the naked female body.
Matt Blum, a Minneapolis based photographer, and his wife Katy launched 'The Nu Project' in 2005 and have captured more than 150 women in the buff in the comfort of their own homes.
He asks women to volunteer for the project and shows up at their door, having never seen them before, for the nude photo shoot.
The women are of all colors, shapes and sizes. Participants heard about the project through word of mouth or Craigslist.
'I believe that women are judged more harshly by appearance, and that’s why I’ve focused this project on women,' Blum said in a description of the project on his website. He hopes the experiences encourages women to embrace their shape and not feel ashamed at their bodies.
All women must be 21 years of age to participate and sign a release before the shoot.
'From what I've experienced, 99 per cent of the women who've participated have told me that they saw themselves differently and that they felt more beautiful,' Blum said in a Reddit discussion on the project.
'I got into this work because I didn't like the amount of nude photography that was either focused on a) perfect bodies or b) making women look extremely average just to prove that everyone is average.'
Beauty: Photographer Matt Blum and his wife Katy joined forces to photograph naked women in their element
At ease: He asks women to volunteer for the project and shows up at their door, having never seen them before, for the nude photo shoot
Embrace yourself: The Minneapolis based photographer, launched 'The Nu Project' in 2005 and have captured more than 150 women in the buff in the comfort of their own homes
Calm: The women are of all colors, shapes and sizes. Participants heard about the project through word of mouth or Craigslist
No regrets: 99 per cent of the women who've participated told the photographer that the photo shoot made them feel differently and that they felt more beautiful
Acceptance: The photographer said he started the project because he didn't like the amount of nude photography that was either focused on making a women's body look perfect
Happy: This woman exuded calm and confidence posing for the photographer
Celebrate: The photographer wanted to allow women to experience the natural beauty of their bodies
At home: The photographer captured women in the comfort of their own homes
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OK, so I had something I was going to say and then I totally forgot because I had work to do and then they announced cake for our monthly birthday celebration where no one is congratulated on having a birthday and birthdays are never mentioned and I got into a discussion about Danica Patrick and then I was flying high on sugar because I ate 2 pieces of cake, one actual cake and the other cheesecake, and now I'm just BUZZZZZZING. So in short, I forgot what I was going to say.
100 pounds of speeding vagina
Danica Patrick - she's not really all that stunningly hot, but she's the hottest female driver out there and she might win, so she gets a lot of attention. And she's thrown punches at a lot of European drivers from time-to-time which is just so very American, even though the Euro drivers throw punches and kicks at each other all the time. Anyway, Danica is the only pair of boobs on the track that has a good shot at winning, so of course she's getting attention. Boobs = attention. It's the American way.
Being shot is a disability, too
Oscar Pistorius - according to the vagina monologues at CNN, their audience is already splitting into the Pistorius Camp and the Steenkamp ... er ... Kamp. This is typical. We have very little factual information but that's OK. We don't need any stinkin' facts. We will just choose up sides based on our feelings and personal sexual hostilities and decide right here and now. Why bother with a trial? We'll just vote on it, like some fucking reality show. Personally, I want to know as many facts as possible. Did he just go psycho? Did she? Was he hallucinating? What really happened?
Joe "pee yourself" Biden
Joe Biden - seriously, Vice President Joe Biden, the primary sponsor of the original Violence Against Women Act (found to be unconstitutional because it violated the Equal Protection clause), has been prancing about the country telling women that they don't NEED guns to defend themselves against rapists. Hey, remember when a Republican said "legitimate rape" and was instantly crucified by the Marxist Feminist Media? Well, Jumpin' Joe Biden says that women facing a rapist should pee on themselves, vomit, or tell him they are menstruating, but absolutely should never, ever, ever use a gun for any reason. This is his justification for trying to disarm women who think they have some sort of right to protect themselves from a rapist. And the Vagina Media is TOTALLY WITH HIM on this shit.
Joe "shotgun" Biden
Joe Biden - after telling women being raped to pee on themselves and not use a gun, Joe "legitimate rape" Biden said that for everyone else in need of some means of self-defense against violence, "buy a shotgun" and never, ever, ever buy any sort of rifle or handgun because those are BAD. The 2nd Amendment is to guarantee The People the power to fight against a tyrant who uses the police and military to oppress and enslave them. But Joe "Shotgun" Biden says we don't NEED any stinkin' 2nd Amendment. We just need shotguns. Problem solved!
Want. Can't reach. Don't speak Swedish.
Red Riding Hood - My Red Riding Hood story is changing little by little as I rewrite it for an attempt at actual publication. It is heading off, like it was written the first time, in its own direction seemingly without my control. In the meantime, I talked to an editor friend, who is connected to a publishing house, who is willing to look it over for an edit. But I have to pay, of course, because she is a big deal and herself published many times over, plus awards for being damn good, and her time is valuable. I like her because even though we are politically as opposite as we can be, we have the same twisted sense of humor. That's why I asked her in the first place. Well, that and she edits. So, I have been looking high and low for a model to be Red Riding Hood on the cover, but Memphis simply doesn't have this kind of girl and I can only find the right look in places like Norway, Sweden and parts of Canada (via the internet) and the girl I want to be my cover model doesn't speak English so I don't know how to contact her. Argh!
Someone dropped an ice cube on the road n' I was all like "erhmagawd!"
Memphis Drivers - seriously, it starts to sleet, with little tiny ice cubes bouncing off the hoods of our cars, and half the drivers in Memphis instantly shit themselves and lock up their brakes. After that, they drive 5 mph despite the fact that THERE IS NO ICE ON THE ROAD and won't speed up or, Heaven forbid, GET OUT OF THE PASSING LANE no matter what. So I was thinking about what Joe Biden said regarding shotguns and thinking maybe I could just start shooting at morons going slow in the passing lane and then, if anyone asks, say that Joe "Skeeter" Biden said I could.
Keepin' it real!
Las Vegas Shooting - for days and days the news has been talking about a mysterious shooting in Las Vegas that sent a Maserati crashing into a taxi, which burst into flames and killed people in both cars. Someone in a black Range Rover with custom rims and tinted windows (big clue here) fired the fatal shots after some sort of "altercation" at a hotel. That was all the news media would tell us because, apparently, they didn't feel that we had any need to know more than that. I will be honest with you here, when I first heard this news story I thought to myself that it sounded like a couple of black Memphis thugs to me. But the news media wouldn't give us any information as to who was shot, or who shot them, and no way would they give us any physical descriptions of anyone. And then, as of today, CNN is running clips from the Maserati driver's RAP VIDEOS in which he is all gangsta and dreadlocked and actin' skreet and suddenly, after a full week, we learn that the shooters and target in the Maserati were all black gangstas. Even more than that, the driver of the Maserati is from the infamous crime city of Oakland, California. And despite our best efforts to not be racist, most of America said "yeah, that's what I thought."
So you accidentally stabbed him 27 times?
Jodi Arias - a Phoenix, Arizona woman who shot her boyfriend in the face and then stabbed him 27 times while he was taking a shower, and then slit his throat for good measure, is claiming ... wait for it .... wait for it ... to be the REAL VICTIM! No, I shit you not. I'm not making this up! She seriously is claiming that she was acting in self-defense because he abused her, although just not at the moment she was shooting and stabbing him. And also she "can't remember" deciding to shoot him because the gun "just went off" all by itself, as Democrats all seem to think guns do. And she has "no memory" of stabbing him. All of this fitting perfectly into a claim that you can't prove criminal intent if the gun "just went off" and she doesn't remember deciding to stab him. And all of her testimony seems to contradict things she said earlier, just like every single other woman who did similar crimes and used this same defense, including Lorena Bobbitt, and lurking there in the courtroom, of course, are agents from the Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women, who are looking for any way possible to help her get off at taxpayer expense. One of the biggest problems she faces is the fact that she was a total fucking psycho stalker with her ex-boyfriends in the past, and that has come up. But oh well, I'm guaranteeing you she's not going to do any real time and may not even do a single day in jail. Because that's how we roll here in the US of Vajayjay.
Pro-Obama, pro-gun-control, terrorist
Officer Christopher Dorner - when the Christopher Dorner "manifesto" came out, all I could find here in the American Media were highly edited versions of it, with huge chunks cut out. Thanks to Ute in Australia I was able to read the entire unedited rant. I even commented on how odd it was that our Marxist Media wouldn't publish the entire rant. Yesterday someone pointed out that the Big State Media cut out every single pro-Obama part of it, along with everything else he said that showed him to be a pro-gun control, left-of-center Democrat. In the recent past, such as when Representative Giffords was shot, the Marxist Media not only covered up the left-leaning sentiments of the shooter, but actually claimed he was a right-wing "nut job" instead. Anyone who knows anything about American history knows that over 90 percent of our acts of terrorism have been committed by people and groups self-identified as left-wing. But you'd never know that if you listen to our News Media or read our public schools' history books. They leave that out. Even the Ft Hood Muslim terrorist has been covered over as a "workplace violence" incident which our own Prezident refuses to acknowledge as a jihadist terrorist.
America's future - not so far away
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EastEnders star Kierston is not Wareing much in these pics
Racey ... Kierston Wareing
By ANGAHRAD LLEWELLYN
KIERSTON Wareing has stripped off for a new role in Brit flick The Fall of the Essex Boys.
The EastEnders star appears as Karen in the British gangster film based on the true story of the Rettendon Murders. Robert Cavanah, Peter Barrett, Jay Brown and Simon Phillips and former Celebrity Big Brother star Martin Kemp's son Roman also stars in the film. Kierston, who stars as Max Branning's wife Kirsty Branning in the BBC1 soap, has previously starred in Channel 4 drama Top Boy as Heather. The movie follows the rise and fall of the feared criminal gang The Essex Boys. Their reign of terror hit the headlines in December 1995 when the bodies of Craig Rolfe, Patrick Tate and Tony Tucker were discovered in a Range Rover on a remote Essex country lane. Director Paul Tanter relives the exploits of Rolfe (Simon Phillips), Tate (Peter Barrett) and Tucker (Jay Brown) in blood-spattered close-up as police hunt down the gang and decide to play off different factions of the criminal fraternity against each other. Violence escalates culminating in the murders in Rettendon, which were previously dramatised in Terry Winsor’s film Essex Boys. The Fall of the Essex Boys was released on February 8.
New role ... Kierston Wareing
Shower scene ... Kierston Wareing
Intimate role ... Kierston Wareing
Under the sheets ... Kierston Wareing
Raunchy scenes .... Kierston Wareing
EastEnders star ... Kierston Wareing as Max Branning's wife Kristy Branning
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They walk amongst us and they vote!!! Be afraid! Be very afraid!
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LAPD officer Dorner was fired for refusing to change his story about a fellow LAPD officer kicking a handcuffed and helpless man in the face, as she is apparently known for doing. He tried and tried to stand up for the truth, he says, and for his rights. But did the truth 'out'? Did he win by virtue of being in the right? Did justice rise up and strike down the infamous Blue Wall of liars and criminals in LA's police department? No, none of that happened. Worst of all, this isn't something unique to LA. This is just how it is. The truth doesn't 'out' and standing up for your rights when you are 100 percent in the right does not in any way help you to win or to obtain justice. Officer Dorner, obviously carrying a lot of anger about every single wrong he had ever suffered throughout his entire life, snapped when confronted with the reality that justice doesn't prevail and that being right doesn't have a damn thing to do with who wins in a fight.
I wish that the criticisms and confessions Officer Dorner made regarding the LAPD and American police in general, referring to the American People as "enemy combatants" without seeming to even realize what he was revealing, would make some sort of difference, would result in a big uprising and required reforms of all law enforcement in the United States. Granted, some police departments, sheriff departments, whatever, have rejected the slide into tyranny and militarization, and good for those officers and departments that refuse to view American Citizens as enemy combatants. But many others have not refused or resisted in the least, and we need something done to reverse that.
I'd love to think that Officer Dorner didn't die for nothing, despite the many random ranting and outright stupid things he said in his manifesto in addition to all his revealing criticisms of the LAPD. It was ironic that he called for a ban on assault rifles while he bragged that he had several himself and was going to use them to fight the tyranny of an unjust and unlawful police department. It was all too typical of a gun-control supporter to own and enthusiastically use the very weapons he claims to want banned for everyone else. Clearly he wasn't a man entirely heroic and pure. He had some major flaws. Still, many of us hold out hope that his statements will result in some change for the better. Many of us do, but I don't. I don't believe that anything is going to change. At least not for the better. Washington DC has a no-longer-secret interest in growing the size and power of government at all costs. And in order to do that they need to expand the power of their Enforcers, the police. Clinton did it. Bush did it. And Obama is absolutely doing it. It's not just a partisan Republican or Democrats thing. It's an us vs them thing, a Big Centralized Government versus the American People thing, and the fucking Government is winning.
Danica Patrick
Danica Patrick set a record in qualifying for the Daytona 500 this weekend. Then she qualified for the pole position, becoming the first woman to do so. She's been close to winning some major races for years and no one doubts she's the real deal. But this achievement was a first. And of course our Marxist media, with its obsession of all things female, black, gay or transsexual, is going apeshit over this. To me, this achievement is inevitable and has nothing to do with men vs women, although our misandric media will make it out to be so.
In the old days, racing cars had manual brakes and manual steering and it took some real muscle to wrestle those death traps around the track at insane speeds. Racers invented seat belts, disc brakes, power steering, everything that makes driving a car easier to do, out of necessity. And now that they'd made it easier, it is inevitable that racing teams are beginning to transform auto racing into the mechanical equivalent of horse racing. There is just too much money on the line for some big fat guy to say "this is my multi-million dollar race car and I'm driving it!" We're long past that point. These cars cost insane amounts of money, even more than race horses. Winning means big, big money for the whole team. One of the realities of racing, moreso today than ever before, is that every pound of extraneous weight inside the car is a handicap for that car and that team.
It doesn't surprise me at all that Danica Patrick is doing well. She's got the guts and the competitive drive of a race car driver, but she's also a midget compared to some of the men she's competing against. She's tiny, 5 foot 2 inches and 100 pounds dripping wet. She's a feather in her car compared to most of the men out there. And that tiny size gives her an advantage. So I'm going to make one of my many Memphis Steve predictions. I predict that over the coming years more and more teams are going to seek out the smallest drivers they can find, either women like Danica or men like the jockeys riding race horses in the Kentucky Derby already. I don't know why it has taken this long. This should have happened long ago. There's too much on the line in modern auto racing for it to be any other way.
Reeva Steenkamp and Oscar Pistorius
Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend on Valentine's Day last week. And from the news reports, he was crying his eyes out like a man who didn't want to or mean to kill his girlfriend. So what happened? I don't know. But I know what I want to hear. I want to hear that this Olympic sprinter didn't shoot her at all. And if he did shoot her, I want to hear that he didn't mean to shoot her, that he didn't know it was her and shot her completely by mistake. And this is why he's devastated by her death. That's what I want to hear. I think that's what a lot of us want to hear. I hope he didn't mean to shoot her at all. I hope that this is all a total mistake. So many of our professional and even college athletes have let us down over the past few years. I don't want to hear that Olympic athletes are joining in the parade of disgraced scumbags who earn our admiration through amazing feats of athletic skill only to turn around and spit on us all with their low-class trashy behavior and worse in their daily lives.
Barack Obama and Tiger Woods
President Obama is in the news for yet another vacation outing. This time he's playing golf with Tiger Woods. We have never in the history of this nation had a president take more vacations at greater expense or play even half as much golf as this president, and I'm including presidents who served 8 full years after Obama has only served 4. There is an attitude of entitlement in this, a belief that as the big boss he can do whatever he pleases even though it is the American taxpayer that pays his salary and all the bills. Considering the horrifically destructive and frequently unconstitutional things he does while he's actually in the White House it isn't such a bad thing that he's so rarely ever there. But it does reveal something about his sense of being entitled that he has spent more time and more tax money on his own personal vacations than any other US President in history. Not that this is a surprise considering his background as a community agitator and his ties to organized Labor.
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Happy Valentine's Day I hope yours is as fine as this
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I stole this meme from Ute, who says she stole it from me, only it must have been from a long time ago because I haven't posted a meme in years. At least, not that I can remember.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I was named after the Renaissance-era French nobleman, Lord Efilumpius Smorgasbortata Etienne Boobie de Montaigne, but his friends just called him 'Steve'.
Lord Steve - rockin' his porn mustache
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Today, in traffic. I got stuck behind this asshat in a Nissan that was going uber slow in the passing lane in rush hour traffic and I cried "move, you fucking cuntbasket!" And then I passed her on the right and she turned her high beams on me. So I hit my brakes and she turned them off again. Because cuntbaskets are cowards deep down.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I love my handwriting. I plan to marry it one day, after I divorce my current handwriting. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. To be honest, I haven't seen my handwriting in a very long time. I'm a keyboard using fool these days. If it weren't for paying bills and writing Christmas cards I don't think I'd write anything by hand at all.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I'm not quite sure what this question is intended to mean, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're asking me who my favorite female porn star is. Otherwise, it sounds like you're asking if I'm into gay anal sex and the answer to that is a resounding "no and keep away from my back door there, bud!" But to answer your question about meat, my favorite porn star would probably be Kayden Kross, mostly because I can remember her name off the top of my head and I'm too lazy to use Google right now to look up any others. Also, she's very funny in a sharply snarky way and I admire that in a girl.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No, but as a kid I once had a pair of Keds, which isn't even remotely similar except for the fact that I was a kid while wearing Keds and the two connect somehow in my fracturious brain.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No, definitely not. I dislike assholes and I most certainly am one.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Fuck no, I'm not the type for sarcasm. I prefer straight up obscenity-laced in-your-face tirades.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yeah, and my balls and kidneys, too. Why do you want to know this and take a few steps back before you answer.
Go for it!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? As if I have anything to lose. Sure I would. Why not? The adrenaline rush is said to be really amazing. It either makes you laugh hysterically or shit yourself. I'm willing to take the gamble despite my bad track record with farts that aren't just farts.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? As The World Turns .... no, no, All My Children. Not that I ever actually saw it, but wasn't Kelly Ripa on All My Children at some point? I'd love to see the old soap opera, pre-super-skinny Kelly Ripa naked. She used to be really hot. Now she's just cute. Come on, Internet, bring me naked Kelly Ripa!
Internet fail - non naked Kelly Ripa
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, they untie themselves and then walk to the closet and put themselves up. I have magic elven shoes. Doesn't everybody?
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I know I'm strong. My deodorant says so right on the bottle! "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." You should smell me sometime and then see if you think I'm strong.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? For some reason the first time I read this question I thought of Icelandic porn. Do you suppose there is such a thing as Icelandic porn? They say the women there are amazingly beautiful so you'd think Icelandic porn would be like their number one national export. But to be perfectly honest, I've never heard of it before. They should make some, for sure. Come on, internet search, don't fail me now!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Are they male or female? If female, are they naked? If female and non-naked, do I WISH they were naked or are they fat or otherwise unpleasantly shaped? If female, non-naked, but well-shaped, are they holding a drink in their hand and does it appear to be something strong that might result in their being naked in the near future? Come on, tequila, don't fail me now!
The face of Patron. And the boobs.
15. RED OR PINK? What are we talking here? If it's cars then red. If it's naked girls drunk on tequila then it's pink. And if it's money then green.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My extreme perfectness. It must be terribly discouraging for others how perfect I am. I don't mean to be such a discouragement. Sometimes I try to hold myself back to make others around me feel like they have a chance. Yep.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Heidi, the "Tool Time" girl on Tim Allen's old show. I didn't much care for his show, but I LOVED Heidi, played by Debbe Dunning. And before Heidi, there was Lisa, played by Pam Anderson pre-implants and pre-Tommy.
18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST? My ability to convince a beautiful girl that a shot of tequila is actually just flavored water. "Go ahead, suck it down real fast. It's just lime-flavored water. It's good for you!"
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Brown like Obama's ass. Speaking of Joe Biden ...
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A brownie. And it was brown like Obama's ass. Why do you keep bringing up Joe Biden?
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Coworkers clicking their computer mouses and cursing. Oh wait, the cursing is mostly just me. Still, we're all working on PCs here so you know there's regular cursing going on.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Vagina
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? See #22
24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU? How important they are to me isn't really the issue. This is my blog so I can post whatever views I want. The question that matters is, how important are my political views to you?
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE? Whichever one Debbe Dunning is at, drunk on tequila and waiting impatiently for a strong smelling man with important political views.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Did you ever see Debbe Dunning on American Gladiators Celebrity Challenge? She won it two years in a row. That girl was kick-ass for real!
27. HAIR COLOR? Favorite? Honestly, it depends on the girl. There are some rocking hot blondes and some skanky blondes, smokin' brunettes and scary brunettes, sexy auburn-haired beauties and bleached ginger whales.
28. EYE COLOR? Depends on the hair color its with. Auburn hair with glowing green eyes is great, but blue eyes can go with any hair color. Brown eyes are usually best with brown hair, but they can go well with blonde hair, too. It all just depends on the face it's connected to.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, I keep my contacts in my phone.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Coffee
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings where a wet t-shirt wearing Jessica Biel has escaped the chain saw maniac and is walking down the road, bouncing and shimmering for the camera. I honestly don't care about the scary movie. I just want to watch Jessica Biel all wet and see-through walking or running down the road. There doesn't even have to be a story connected to it.
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? I don't know any girls named Winter so I'm gonna have to go with Summer. Summer was a tall, dark stripper who used to hang from the rafters upside down and hook on the side. She was only 14 but you couldn't tell. Her boots were taller than most of her customers and when she put them on she was a giant. And when she got drunk she was a lost, lonely 14-year-old with shitty parents and big, big troubles. Yeah, you think you have it rough? You should live Summer's life and see what rough is.
She works hard for the money
33. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Dracula by Braham Stroker. In the very first chapter an entire freakin' city full of people warns him not to go to Dracula's castle and he just brushes them off and goes anyway. I'm thinking this idiot has it coming.
34. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? Vinyl, with a receiver that has big-assed glowing tubes in it, a turntable with a needle cartridge that costs more than the turntable itself and some big-assed speakers from the 1970s. Pretty much anything you play on this, if its vinyl, will sound better than the digital shit on your iPod. Well, unless it's polka. Polka doesn't even sound good live. Vinyl can't fix that. Sorry all you Mexican-Bavarians, but your music sucks. I guess that's why you work so hard on making good beer/tequila, isn't it? That makes sense to me.
35. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? All the way to your house while you were out. Bet you didn't even know I'd been there, eh? Yeah, I was searching for old vinyl, but you didn't have any so I played in your underwear drawer instead and left some kinky photos on your digital camera. Go check'em out and get back to me. I wanna hear your reaction.
I held a car wash in your driveway. Hope you don't mind
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