Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from Nude Memphis to you! There's going to be a lot of drunken slutty Halloween revellers tonight on the roof of the Peabody Hotel, but unfortunately I'll be on the road home from here in Rockettown, Alabama and won't be able to make it.


I hope you all have lots of horrible things planned to do tonight. Don't kill anyone and don't get arrested if you can help it.

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I'm still a guy

I don't have anything particularly snarky and political or hilarious or well-thought-out to say today. I'm just really, really sick. So, of course, I'm writing this from out of my ass rather than working in the database and potentially destroying something irretrievable.


Like a really slutty, vicious virgin
My head is spinning like Madonna's press agent trying to explain why she isn't a selfish, controlling bitch and her future ex-husband is actually the bad guy. This reminds me of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears, except in this case I think Mr. Madonna will probably get substantially more money than Mr. Federline did. Hell, after spending all those years putting up with The Material Girl I think he deserves it.

Speaking of spin, the U.S. Department of Justice has refused to file criminal charges against Obama's vote fraud crime ring - ACORN. Interestingly, all the heads of the Department of Justice who are involved in making the decision not to stop the vote fraud are on record as registered Democrats who gave donations to Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Corruption much? A good indication of how things are going to be under a President Barry? You betcha!

Being sick apparently makes me tired and whiny. I'm in one of those states of mind where you write weepy emails to people like Jessica Biel that say things like, "why don't you love me anymore?" If ever there were a better way to convince a hot chick that you're not man enough for her I haven't discovered it yet. I'm the World's Biggest Doormat when it comes to attractive women. Ironic much? I should write a book, "How to Repel Hot Chicks in 5 Seconds or Less."



Chapter 1: Say things like "All men are pigs. Huh huh huh!"
Yes, this seemingly innocuous yet highly sexist statement is a clear indicator to any potential female mate or fuckbuddy that you are a giant pussy [Amer.] or cunt [Australia, Ireland]. It communicates in crystal clear terms that you not only want to place yourself at the woman's feet, sort of inviting a bondage/domination scenario that only a select few highly paid professional women will tolerate, but it also attempts to drag down your entire masculine sex with you.



Chapter 2: It's 'Sex' not 'Gender', you cunt!
Notice I said 'sex' and not 'gender'. Only bulldykes and human resources employees ever say 'gender' when they mean 'sex'. So of course a truly Girlie Man will say 'gender', too. A person's sex is a biological fact, something the lesbian feminists who run Harvard have trouble arguing with. Gender, on the other hand, is a social construct. If a buzzcut bulldyke puts on a pair of men's Dockers and a men's flannel shirt then her 'gender' becomes male. If Joe Biden takes off his dress and puts on some pants his gender also switches to male. The use of the word 'gender' when one means 'sex' is another quick way a weak man can offer a clue to a woman that he is a waste of her time, a eunuch, a limp dick, a 'socially progressive' flower child who buys carbon credits from my bogus website, I mean, from certain people's websites where guilt can be assuaged with a Visa card, much like the old corrupt 'forgiveness for cash' of the Catholic Church that ultimately sent a real man, Martin Luther, into conniptions and resulted in him nailing a protest to their front door. Real men nail protests to the front door of their enemy. Pussies bow at womens' feet like a doormat or drink toasts to 'respecting women' like the main character did in that movie-masterpiece "Superbad". See the difference?



Chapter 3: "Honey baby, why won't you return my calls? Pick up if you're there."
Women want a man who doesn't give a damn if she's around or not. They like a man who says, 'eh, I guess we can have wild monkey sex if you just really want to. Just remember, I'm only doing this for you.' They don't like needy men who bombard them with whiny emails or fill their answering machines with poetry and love songs. They don't want you texting them every 5 seconds about whatever stupidity pops into your desperate head. They don't like whiny men who are better at sitting down to tea with their mother while talking about why her daughter has no attraction to him then sitting down with her father and talking about whether Australia will lose the cup to New Zealand or whether the Georgia Bulldogs can beat the Florida Gators without some miracle occurring. Being perpetually available, like a tail-wagging puppy dog, is a sure way to run her off.



Chapter 4: Can I borrow some of your lip gloss?
Metrosexual men are very popular with the girlie men and manly grrlz who dominate our media. But that's because they're freaks who fear real men. Metrosexuals are also popular with feminists who want every living male killed, but failing that, a nationwide castration will due. Men who wear more product in their hair than a male fashion designer, who get manicures and pedicures, who wear silk, who wear face cream and eyeliner, who have more Mary Kay lip gloss than every woman in the local trailer park combined, who go to tanning salons, who go to spas, who drive Priuses, are just not going to cut it with your mainstream 'doable' heterosexual women.



Chapter 5: How do you like my pink shirt?
These vagina-men are everywhere lately, waltzing around like Liberace entering stage left to play a piano concerto in a flaming pink flamingo shirt. I don't care if you play center for the Pittsburgh Steelers. I don't care if you have more steroids in you than a Russian sprinter. Men who wear pink are screaming to the world that they are undoable. Wait, let me correct that, they are announcing that they are undoable by women, but if Tyrone Shaquil wants to bend them over in the shower and take a stool sample then they might just be up for it. Real men don't wear pink. Men who don't get laid do.



Chapter 6: I don't want to have sex. I'm respecting your boundaries.
More and more hot-blooded, sexually active, highly attractive American women are lately complaining that the men they try to mount are refusing to 'go for it' and get busy with them. The women make it as clear as they can what they want to do, only to have the men back off and 'respect her boundaries' for fear of offending her. To be fair, a lot of this is the fault of the female supremacist hate movement that has labeled all sex between a man and a woman as rape of the woman. The law has followed suit, of course. So it shouldn't be surprising that the males of today, having been bashed their entire life long for being male, might be a bit hesitant to go for it without the assistance of a large quantity of alcohol or drugs. Still, it's gotten bad enough that women are openly complaining about it. A lot. In fact, more and more women, including women who describe themselves as 'lipstick feminists' and 'sexperts' have been writing articles in various magazines (Maxim) going off about these Boundary Respecting Boys with steadily increasing frustration. It's almost sounding as if more and more women are turning to bisexual activities not because they enjoy women so much as they simply have grown frustrated with the lack of manliness of the men in their lives. Welcome to feminist America. We're all girls now.



My penis is only this big
So anyway, there you have it. There's a brief synopsis of my book that I haven't written yet. It should be easy to write. I'm an expert on this sort of failure.


OK, well every time I cough I feel as if my lungs turned inside out and someone kicked me in the sternum. I just farted and I'm not entirely sure it was a clean blast of air. My coffee is cold. My cough medicine isn't strong enough. And I'm slightly hallucinating. Wait, maybe it is strong enough. Wheeee!



And now for some deep insight into part of what's wrong with America today ...

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'Outdated Criteria' and the current redistribution of your wealth

If you've been wondering where all your money went, why the markets are crashing and burning, and how this happened, here is something you might find interesting from an article I just read ....



"Under Clinton, the entire federal government put massive pressure on banks to grant more mortgages to the poor and minorities. Clinton's secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Andrew Cuomo, investigated Fannie Mae for racial discrimination and proposed that 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low- to moderate-income borrowers by the year 2001.

Instead of looking at "outdated criteria," such as the mortgage applicant's credit history and ability to make a down payment, banks were encouraged to consider nontraditional measures of credit-worthiness, such as having a good jump shot or having a missing child named "Caylee."

Threatening lawsuits, Clinton's Federal Reserve demanded that banks treat welfare payments and unemployment benefits as valid income sources to qualify for a mortgage. That isn't a joke -- it's a fact.

When Democrats controlled both the executive and legislative branches, political correctness was given a veto over sound business practices.

In 1999, liberals were bragging about extending affirmative action to the financial sector. Los Angeles Times reporter Ron Brownstein hailed the Clinton administration's affirmative action lending policies as one of the "hidden success stories" of the Clinton administration, saying that "black and Latino homeownership has surged to the highest level ever recorded."

Meanwhile, economists were screaming from the rooftops that the Democrats were forcing mortgage lenders to issue loans that would fail the moment the housing market slowed and deadbeat borrowers couldn't get out of their loans by selling their houses.

A decade later, the housing bubble burst and, as predicted, food-stamp-backed mortgages collapsed. Democrats set an affirmative action time-bomb and now it's gone off.

In Bush's first year in office, the White House chief economist, N. Gregory Mankiw, warned that the government's "implicit subsidy" of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, combined with loans to unqualified borrowers, was creating a huge risk for the entire financial system.

Rep. Barney Frank denounced Mankiw, saying he had no "concern about housing." How dare you oppose suicidal loans to people who can't repay them! The New York Times reported that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were "under heavy assault by the Republicans," but these entities still had "important political allies" in the Democrats.

Now, at a cost of hundreds of billions of dollars, middle-class taxpayers are going to be forced to bail out the Democrats' two most important constituent groups: rich Wall Street bankers and welfare recipients.

Political correctness had already ruined education, sports, science and entertainment. But it took a Democratic president with a Democratic congress for political correctness to wreck the financial industry."

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A Fart a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Oh my God, it's too good to be true! Farts are good for you!

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The Weekend

We had a big bullshit 'take back our highways' celebration here recently. Basically it's the same as the feminazi's 'take back the night' marches on college campuses where they stomp around with torches and sexually assault every male student they encounter, accusing them of being sex offenders by virtue of not having vaginas. Only in this case it's just cops roaming in packs, like wild dogs, randomly pulling people over for a lot of nothing.

The ads promised that they were going after speeders, those oh-so-vicious seatbelt violators, and 'aggressive drivers.' No mention was made of going after the deadly and rampant passive/aggressive drivers. They used to enforce the laws against passive/aggressive driving, but it was politically unpopular because they ended up pulling over a disproportionate number of black and female drivers, so they stopped enforcing those laws altogether.

Anyway, I drove to Memphis surrounded by cops looking for any excuse. I set my cruise control to whatever speed limit I saw, turned up my stereo, and watched them grab people all around me who hadn't been doing a damned thing. I watch them nab a black Toyota who was cruising next to me going the same speed as me and not doing anything wrong or suspicious. I watched the passive/aggressives getting bolder and more aggressive as they realized the laws weren't going to be applied to them. My only real consolation was that gas prices keep coming down and down, but they're still killing me. Oh, and my console broke for no apparent reason. It just suddenly didn't want to open. I push the button and pull on the handle and it doesn't release. So it was a good thing I didn't get pulled over. My wallet was in there and I couldn't get it out.

I think we should break up our police into real cops and 'seat belt' cops. The real cops can focus on real crimes, and the seat belt cops can just drive around harassing people for not wearing seat belts, not having their children in overpriced child seats, smoking, eating unhealthy foods, and other fad bullshit like that. They shouldn't have guns or anything because nothing they're doing involves actual criminals. Also, instead of driving police cruisers, which have room in the back for hauling criminals to jail and a big trunk for equipment and a legal manual, they could drive Toyota Priuses or diesel-powered Volkswagen Bugs. And instead of wearing black or blue, they should wear pastel colors or pink, reflecting the nature of their task. It'd be a friendlier, more it-takes-a-village, grrl power sort of force, roaming the streets to tell us all to eat our vegetables and don't talk with our mouths full like our mothers used to do. I think that would be entirely appropriate. Plus, it would save real cops from having to do bullshit work that most of them hate doing anyway.


At home this past weekend, The Wife and I did a lot of yard work. And I discovered some new friends that were living right nearby me without my knowledge. As I came out of my shop and walked past my Dad's old hearse, a swarm of wasps suddenly began attacking me from out of nowhere. I ended up running down the driveway in my bare feet flailing my arms over my head like an idiot while the neighbors watched, thoroughly amused. The neighbors couldn't see the wasps from where they were. All they could see was a barefoot moron running and flapping his arms around.

I cut my foot pretty badly in the escape, but I got away from the wasps. I had to dig a rock out of my big toe and it bled nicely. Then I went and got a can of wasp poison and went back for some proper revenge. I searched around and found a giant wasp's nest in the wheelwell of Dad's car. I hosed it down and watched with glee as 20 dead wasps fell onto the driveway. I searched the rest of the car and discovered that more wasps had managed to get inside one of the doors and built a nest in there. So I sprayed inside the door and watched wasp after wasp come climbing out, only to fall over dead, adding to the pile. I opened the door and watched as more wasps came out the drain hole at the base of the door, now dripping with white liquid wasp death.


I changed the oil in my 4x4 after I realized I had driven 7500 miles between oil changes. Oops. I had forgotten that when I'm on the road a lot I have to change my oil more often. I started up my old 1971 Monte Carlo and drove it around. I haven't driven that car more than 1000 miles in the past 10 years, which is bad. The exhaust was blowing smoke rings and made a huge stinking cloud from a combination of water in the oil, old gas in the tank, and the seals of the engine drying out from neglect. The engine shouldn't need a rebuild, but after sitting up for so long I'm thinking it could use an overhaul. I just don't feel like doing it. I don't care that much about it anymore.


Back in Rockettown a couple of DJs calling themselves John Boy and Billy dominate the morning radio on my way to work each day. They're located in North Carolina, but the program is syndicated and a station here has picked it up. There's nothing else on, but they drive me up the wall. It took me forever to figure out what it is that I hate about them, but I finally got it. They irritate the crap out of me because of their fake Southern accents. John Boy in particular has a horrible fake accent. You can tell the man has gone through years of training to REMOVE any trace of Southern accent, only to be hired into a job that requires him to try to talk like a reject from the Dukes of Hazzard. He just can't do it right. He'll be rednecking along, then break into a commercial from some product which he does completely accent-free, then go back to his drawl again. It's just crap.

I flipped stations for weeks trying to find anything else on that I could stand. I stopped at a station where I heard a familiar accent and I listened. It was a woman out in the middle of Nowhere, Alabama, who claims to be from Australia. She says her name is Sydney. I thought to myself, Sydney from Australia, hmm? And she's doing radio out in the sticks of northern Alabama eh? Suuuuuuure.

But I kept listening anyway. John Boy and Billy have ruined me. I listen to her because I like her accent more than theirs, but now I'm suspicious that she's fake, too. A woman called Sydney from Australia doing radio in some small town in north Alabama just seems too unlikely. Still, I'd like to meet her. I want to quiz her to see if I think she's really from Australia or just another John Boy with a fake accent as a radio gimmick. If I do meet her, I may need to call one of you Aussie bloggers to help me think up good questions to hit her with. So send me your mobile numbers if you're up for the task. I'll try to keep the 15 hour time difference in mind so as not to call any of you at 3 a.m. or anything like that.


sleep tight, little koala bear

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Sick

I'm home sick today. My case of The Poops has gotten worse until I was finally forced to stay home from work.

Staying home does not thrill me. I always feel like I should be doing something. I always feel like I should be at work. And also, being at my parents' house during the week, I feel like I don't really belong here and this is not my home, so I'm not entirely comfortable.

I see our lovely stock market has decided to free-fall again. That's awesome. Just what we needed. Maybe it'll fall to zero and we'll all be wiped out? Then we can vote this November based entirely on fear and panic instead of other equally superficial emotions.

Ah, as I sit here I can feel the poop welling up inside me again. Guess I'm off to the toilet.

POOya!




Oh, before I go, here's a deep and insightful video I stole from Kate Lord Brown, an absolutely beautiful woman with a very deep blog ...

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Why do you think you are nuts?

I'm so poopy today it's a wonder I haven't imploded. Or lost a noticable amount of weight, at least. At first I thought it was stress, but now I'm pretty sure I'm actually sick. Ah, joy, I have the shits!

Speaking of shit, everything on TV is driving me crazy tonight.


So, is CNN the all "Where's Caylee" network now or what? Have they covered any other stories besides this one in weeks? Every time I flip past them, and considering the poor quality of their reporting I only ever flip by them, the only thing they have on is the "Where's Caylee" show. I don't fucking know where Caylee is. I don't fucking know who Caylee is. And after weeks of seeing this shit over and over I don't fucking care to find out who she is, where she is, or why the bitches at CNN can't seem to think about anything else.

While retrieving this CNN picture I saw an interesting story on their website. They're asking if the Obama candidacy will inspire blacks to be more enthusiastic about voting? Hmm, this is a tough one. I just can't decide. After all, Bill Clinton was the first black president after Abraham Lincoln. Naw, I'm sure the idea of a crooked black gangsta from Chicago becoming president won't interest the black community in the least.


I was just flipping channels a moment ago when I came to the "George Lopez" show on Nickelodeon. Nick is supposed to be a children's network, right? So, George and his mom are in a bar getting drunk when the cranky old bitch decides to pick a fight with an old man who is sitting at the bar with his back to her. She keeps mouthing off at him until he finally gets up and turns around. So now he's standing there with his arms crossed. Then she gets up and sexually assaults him in the predictable way just to be a bitch. It's the sort of thing you only ever see buzzcut bulldykes and drunken 2 dollar whores do in real bars, but to be honest, the woman playing Grandmonster looks like she could be both. Anyway, George grabs the drunken sex-offender and they run out of the bar together. The man hadn't done anything to deserve to be assaulted, let alone sexually assaulted. And of course the show doesn't ever show her paying any price for what she did or in any way expressing regret for being a violent sex offender. There was no excuse for what she did no matter how they tried to play it and yet it was portrayed as harmless humor and shown to children on Viacom's Nickelodeon network. Nickelodeon has this very clip cycling over and over on their website to make absolutely sure that everyone's children sees it.

"Ha ha, Grandma is a total bitch! That's so funny! Sex crimes are funny!"

Meanwhile, on Oprah, she's bitching about how the casual use of the term 'bitch' and 'ho' to describe women in gangsta rap songs is responsible for creating our nation's culture of violence. Yeah, it isn't the fact that we teach, encourage, and celebrate sexual violence against males that is creating a culture of violence in America. No, it's the words 'bitch' and 'ho'.


Or maybe it's the extreme narcissism inherent in a culture that encourages one sex to worship themselves as goddesses while constantly declaring the opposite sex to be a bunch of worthless subhuman pigs who deserve to be sexually abused for entertainment?


Nah, it couldn't be that.

Over on the History Channel, they're showing George Lopez's old Latino gang and talking about the 'empowering' and 'strong independent' murders they commit while running drugs to the Satan Disciples in L.A.

Oh wait, that's not George Lopez. That's some guy named Tommy. And it's not L.A. It's Chicago, where Barry Obama and his infamous ACORN organization comes from. Apparently a gang called the Satan Disciples are big Obama supporters. And if you live nearby and you aren't, they'll fucking kill you.

I wasn't happy about the graphic sexual violence Nick was glorifying on their childrens' show, so I went to their website to contact them. Not surprisingly, and as is almost always the case with these 'social justice' fanatics, there is no link allowing the audience to contact them. Quite simply, they don't give a shit about what anyone thinks. They are only interested in shoving their religion of destruction down everyone's throats from the safety of their mega-million dollar office in New York City, which in case you hadn't heard is where most of the politicized hate throughout the world comes from.


"Psycho" Sumner Redstone
Viacom owns Nickolodeon, by the way, and is controlled by the infamous raging psychopath, Sumner Redstone, the same man who controls CBS, the worst offender of all the major networks when it comes to white-male-bashing. You might recall a few years ago when "60 Minutes" sent a film crew to South Africa where they spread word that they'd put any woman on TV who would say that she had been raped. Predictably, a woman came forward anxious to be on TV. They quickly convinced the woman that in order for 'her story' to air, she must first accuse specific men of raping her. She must point at someone, someone they could film. So, she did. Then they rounded up a mob, gave the mob whips, and convinced the mob to grab the men, strip them completely naked, tie them up with their legs apart, and shred their genitals with the whips while the "60 Minutes" team filmed the whole thing. They claimed that it was 'social justice' and that they just happened to be there to film it and had nothing to do with the horrific crime they were showing to all of America on prime-time television. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the woman had actually been raped. In fact, her own behavior made it pretty obvious that they hadn't told her what they planned to do other than putting her face on TV until they had the men stripped and tied up. She just wanted to be on TV so she told them what they wanted to hear. After that, when they began their S&M porn film, she clearly wanted nothing more to do with it. They had to shove a whip into her hand and push her at them to get her to do anything at all and even then she barely did. This was all shown, including the mens' genitals as they were being sexually tortured and screaming, during prime time on the standard UHF broadcasted CBS network not once, but twice when it came out in reruns the following summer. Since then, CBS has hidden that story and copies of it are very difficult to find.

The FCC, quite predictably, never said a word about it. If S&M porn on prime time isn't obscene, honest to God, nothing is.


Officially not obscene
See, the thing is that the politicians who ruin, er, run our government have decided that only the female vote matters. And even then, it's not the overall female vote that counts. No, it's only the female supremacist vote that counts, because they have most of the money, courtesy of government handouts that those same politicians gave them using our tax dollars. So it's all just a big kickback scheme whereby the politicans declare that they are 'helping women' while this very small handful of wealthy Washington 'womyn' return the favor with intern-delivered blowjobs and lots of favorable press courtesy of their friends up in New York. In the meantime, sexual abuse of males is treated as being good wholesome entertainment for the whole family. Of course, you have to accept their new definition of 'family' first. Otherwise it just seems like bullshit.


Speaking of our openly misandric government, John McCain was on TV again tonight. Oh don't worry, I'm not going to write about what he said. I didn't listen to what he said. Why would I? Once he spit in the faces of every person who ever asked him where he stood on the issues of father's rights I was done with him. I was just wondering who the hell picks out his suits? Have you seen his suits? The jacket looks like it's made out of cardboard and the pants look like he just pulled them out of a paper sack where someone had been using them to swat flies. Who couldn't see this in time to warn him before he stepped out in front of the cameras? "Hey John, you look like a moron in that suit. Why don't you get someone to iron those pants?" How hard would that have been?


As for Obama, he looks like he's trying out for a spot in Versace's next men's fashion show in Milan. Seriously, his suits are so shiny and polished that they're almost ridiculous, like something Elvis would wear if he were still alive. And his speeches are nothing more than the same tired old black baptist preacher sing-song bullshit that they've been doing in churches for generations. Just watch "The Blues Brothers" church scene when James Brown is preaching and compare it to an Obama speech. The only difference is that the people listening to Obama's sermons are mostly athiests who have never set foot in a church and have no idea that they're in the middle of a service. They haven't got a clue why they feel so emotional and compelled to nod mindlessly while he's sing-songing along. They can't figure out where the sudden urge to shout "yes brother", "amen brother", "preach it brother" is coming from. And when he passes that offering plate around, you'd better believe it is one hell of a miracle occuring because, by God, leftists are actually giving their own money for a change.


Anyway, I thought I had less to say. Guess I should stop here and go to bed. This poop train needs some sleep.




And now, for your entertainment, something that could only come from California ... I hope ...

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It's not you, it's me

So, it's Saturday and I'm tired. I worked my ass off yesterday before driving through completely insane moron traffic back to Memphis. Today I'm home alone and I'm just dead. I'm watching the Texas Longhorns try to surprise the big Oklahoma Sooners. So far they're doing surprisingly well, but it's going to take a miracle to beat them, to be brutally honest. I've got an empty beer in my hand and I'm just sitting here thinking, "I wonder if I can fit my dick in this bottle?"

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Yes, I really do.

You're thinking, "what kind of beer is it?"

It's Schiner Bock, of course, the beer of Texans. What else?

You can buy Schiner Bock almost anywhere in America if you just look hard enough. It's both tasty and refreshing!


Hey, Texas just broke one free and ran all the way down to the 20! That's awesome. They need a touchdown and a 2 point conversion just to tie this game up.

Awesome! They just scored the touchdown as I was writing this. Now it's back to a one point game.


Did you know that I was supposed to go to the University of Texas at Austin? It's true. I was accepted and everything. But unknown to me at the time, my feminist mother worked behind the scenes to sabatoge that and make me stay home for college. She lied and denied that she had anything to do with it for years and years, as feminist always do, only to admit all these years later that it was, in fact, her doing. And do you know why she did it? She said that after visiting the campus she decided that the girls were too sexy and she was afraid I might have sex. Sex! In college! Yes, seriously. I couldn't make this shit up. This is what feminists call 'pro choice'. It means they make all the biggest choices of your life for you, without any input from you, and without admitting to you that they fucked you over in one of the biggest and most critical decisions of your life.

Of course, like the modern Republicans, my father was entirely complicit in all this, making absolutely no effort to put a stop to it and never admitting to me what really went on. He went to his grave keeping this secret from me, letting me hate him for betraying me while shielding my mother from her guilt. See why I like Libertarian candidate Bob Barr?

I see that Auburn is taking on Arkansas later today. That's going to be important, because Alabama beat the living crap out of Arkansas 2 weeks ago. If Auburn, who has been playing like absolute crap this season, is to have any hope against Alabama in the Iron Bowl they are going to have to show that they can handle Arkansas with as little effort as Alabama did.


I just watched an ad for Christina Applegate's show, "Samantha Who?" I've always liked her. She was always a hottie, but best of all she's funny. I hate that she had that double mastectomy earlier this year because of cancer. That has to be rough to go through. I always respected the fact that she never got breast implants. But now she has no choice. Well, hopefully she won't go all Pamela Anderson and get beach balls. I liked her just the way she was.

Speaking of liking a girl just the way she was, Pamela Anderson was gorgeous in the days before she went under the knife. Seriously, have you ever seen the photos of her when she was young and hadn't had anything done to her breasts involving a knife and plastic bags? She was outstanding. Anyway she has a great sense of humor, too, fake boobies or not.

You know who else has great breasts, is great looking, and has a great sense of humor? Jenny McCarthy. I loved her on "2 1/2 Men". I had hoped they'd keep her around on a more long-term basis, but I guess they didn't know quite how to do that. They've never added a permanent new character and I guess they don't want to. I was glad to see Rose come back, though. She had left to go do some other show and that show didn't make it.

Texas just got hit with a big roughing the passer penalty. Apparently Ryan Reynolds, an Oklahoma defensive player, is out with a painful knee injury. He's said to be critical to the Oklahoma defense and partly the reason Texas just scored as quickly as they did. I'm no Oklahoma fan, but I never cheer for anyone to have a serious knee injury. I've had 2 knee surgeries from sports injuries and I don't wish that on anyone.

So anyway, I'm home all alone, as usual. I spend almost every day all alone. When I think about it, it's been that way for the past 10 years, if not longer. I really hate being all alone all the time. I've always hated that. And yet, for reasons I have never understood, my life seems to have been designed to keep me forever isolated. I think if I had the chance I'd party 24 hours a day with as many people as I could find, become an alcoholic, and molest as many hot girls as humanly possible. I should quit my job and open a sports bar.

One thing I have to say, I always hated how in soccer the offensive players would throw themselves to the ground, sometimes kicking the defender to intentionally hurt him and try to knock him down with them, and then scream like a baby for a penalty. Colt McCoy, quarterback for Texas, seems to have played some soccer at some point. He keeps throwing himself to the ground whenever a defender is near him as he's running out of bounds in order to draw a penalty. I hope Texas wins this game, but I have no respect for diving. That's one thing about soccer that I never respected during the years that I played. Diving and crying for a penalty is why soccer will never replace football in the hearts of Americans. That's why the female supremacists are working so hard to destroy football in America and wipe out all male athletics completely. They just couldn't get us to give it up and become a nation of soccer girls so now it all has to go.

OK, Texas fan or not, these refs are making terrible calls that are killing Oklahoma. Along with girlie-men taking dives, another thing that I hate is bad refs. Call it right or get off the field.

Hey, am I the only one who has noticed that in television commercials, billboards, print ads sent in junk mail, ads in magazines, etc, white males are being intentionally and systematically eliminated and replaced with all females and the occasional lone black male thrown in? And in ads for anything related to education, especially colleges, there are NO MALES at all? That is a violation of Title IX, but as everyone knows, the feminists have twisted Title IX into nothing more than a club with which to beat all males right out of school altogether. Our corrupt leaders, selfish sociopaths one and all, have not only permitted them to do this, but actually enabled it, violating their oaths of office and weakening our entire nation in an effort to appease their mothers and the 22-year-old Jewish intern they're sleeping with behind their wife's back.


Now these same sociopaths shake their heads and wonder as Barack Obama's gangster-run political machine, ACORN, runs about the country falsifying voter registrations by the hundreds of thousands in preparation for the largest incident of voter fraud in our nation's history. What did they think was going to happen when they hand-picked a candidate based entirely on race rather than on substance? First they came to Memphis and tried to take our own Harold Ford, Jr to run this race. They courted him for a very long time and had everything well prepared. But then a scandal, something involving massive voter fraud, reared its' ugly head and their candidate was tainted. Then more scandal as his politically correct family was caught in crime after crime, fraud after fraud, with his uncle going to jail for corruption and his aunt going to jail for just being a total fucking lunatic. Poor Harold, he had no scandal of his own to taint him like that, but his family is just so batshit crazy and totally corrupted that the Democrats felt they couldn't risk it. They had to dump him and find someone else. Someone black, of course, because in the PC world of the fanatical religious Marxist elitists who dominate the Democratic Party, nothing else would do.

Sorry Hillary, but the Party Leaders made their minds up long ago and you were just the wrong person at the wrong time. Well, the wrong color person, anyway.

Oh, I see Oklahoma has taken up the practice of taking a dive now, too. It's so bad now that the television announcers are making fun of them and talking about how this pathetic shit belongs on the soccer field, not a football field. Seriously, they are slamming on soccer just like I was doing. And they're right.

Oklahoma just scored a touchdown as a result of their punter taking a big fat dive and drawing a bullshit penalty. No matter how this game ends up, there is nothing respectible about this. There is nothing even remotely macho or fitting of a bunch of cowboys throwing themselves to the ground and crying like babies for a penalty. Hell, this shit is one of the main reasons why I quit soccer.

Anyway, today promises to be a whole lot of nothing.

Did any of you watch "Life On Mars" the other night? It's that new show on ABC about the cop who gets hit by a car and wakes up in 1973. I'm not sure if I'm going to like this one or not. It has potential, but if they don't handle it right it could end up being really hokey. I love the old cars, though.

Have you ever really, really liked someone, maybe even become convinced that you were in love, and when they realized how you felt, or you stupidly said "I love you", they started to slowly shove you out the door, out of their life, waving 'bye bye' politely as you stood out in the hallway watching them slowly close that door on you forever? It's a horrible feeling, isn't it? Your heart just shatters and you feel as if you're going to die. Ah, but you don't die. You just limp home to curl up in a bottle and cry. Then of course you email them to death, saying anything you can think of just to try to get them to talk to you. Things like, "hey, uh, what ya doin'?" They don't reply, of course, but you just keep emailing anyway. Or maybe you text their cell phone, sending short, meaningless messages in the desperate hope that they'll eventually respond. After several months of crawling after them you finally give up. And they're glad to be rid of you.

This is why you should never tell anyone that you love them. Always wait for them to say it first.

Well holy shit! Texas just beat Oklahoma. The odds were totally against them. That was an amazing upset.

So, I've just got the movie "Iron Man" on DVD and I think I may turn off football, take the Chevelle out for a tire-smoking spin, and then settle down by myself to watch the movie and see if I like it. I hear it's pretty good.

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An Inconvenient Truth - Meltdown Myths Debunked

I was reading the Wall Street Journal when I came upon an article that I thought was interesting. I'm just going to quote it here.


Barney Breaks It Down

Barney Frank (Democrat) has found another cause for the credit panic: racist Republicans! "They get to take things out on poor people," the House Financial Services Chairman said at a Boston symposium Monday. "Let's be honest: The fact that some of the poor people are black doesn't hurt them either, from their standpoint."

No one thinks poor or black people are to blame for the lending mania at the root of the mess. But there is little question that it resulted, at least in part, from a push to relax lending standards so as to make it easier for poor and minority borrowers to get mortgages. This in turn created incentives for banks to make bad loans, many of which Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac acquired.

An influential 1992 report from the Boston Fed recommended: "Policies regarding applicants with no credit history or problem credit history should not be seen as a negative factor. Lack of credit history should not be seen as a negative factor. Certain cultures encourage people to 'pay as you go' and avoid debt." The head of the Boston Fed at the time, Richard Syron, was ousted last month as CEO of Freddie Mac.

Not all Democrats agree with Mr. Frank that such policies are off-limits to criticism. Last week Representative Artur Davis of Alabama said in a statement: "Like a lot of my Democratic colleagues I was too slow to appreciate the recklessness of Fannie and Freddie. I defended their efforts to encourage affordable home-ownership when in retrospect I should have heeded the concerns raised by their regulator in 2004. Frankly, I wish my Democratic colleagues would admit when it comes to Fannie and Freddie, we were wrong."

Mr. Davis is a Member of the Congressional Black Caucus.



Rep Artur Davis

---

OK, a little history here. In 1977 Democratic President Jimmy Carter created a new law, with the help of a Democrat-controlled congress, requiring that banks toss their standards for loans and give home loans to people with lousy credit, primarily black people. It was called the Community Reinvestment Act and it was a blatant attempt to pander to black voters. President Carter said it was discrimination that poor blacks with bad credit histories didn't live in a big tax-payer funded mansion like he did, so he basically ordered banks to hand out the cash and to hell with the consequences.

In 1992, Governor Bill Clinton ran for president, promising "middle class tax cuts" exactly like the ones current Senator Barack Obama is promising in his television commercials while campaigning for president.

In 1993, new President Bill Clinton passed the largest middle class tax INCREASE in history. He then went on to strengthen Jimmy Carter's Community Reinvestment Act by increasing the amount of bad mortgage loans banks were required to hand out.

Enter President George W. Bush, who upon examining the state of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, now run by former Democrats, said that there was a great cause for concern and alarm.

Representative Barney Frank responded to President Bush by saying, "Fannie and Freddie are not facing any crisis.”

This is the exact same response that I received while working for a Big Alabama Bank just 3 years ago when I tried to talk to some of their VPs about what we in the Memphis corporate office were finding while auditing the mortgage loans that the Big Alabama Bank had brought into the merger with our Big Memphis Bank. They simply didn't want to hear about it.

Well, they're sure hearing about it now.

Meanwhile, all in the Press and in political television commercials we're hearing about how the Republicans are to blame for this mess. I'm no fan of the Republicans, as I've made clear here many times, but I know who is responsible for this disaster and I know who is not. I hate the thought that we are once again about to elect a new President based on lies and false promises. I was perfectly content to watch Americans foolishly elect a new President based on the fact that he is shiny and new and they know absolutely nothing about him, as compared to his opponent who is old and experienced, but something of an ass sometimes. Hell, we do that all the time. That's where Presidents Clinton and Kennedy came from. It's seeing the guilty not only getting away with creating this global disaster, but actually standing up and blaming the people who tried to stop it that is getting to me.

It's one thing to look at this disaster and say "ah ha, this is a great opportunity for my preferred candidate and his party to take advantage of a crisis and use it to get into the White House." But it is quite another when you yourself have to drive around a city that received a disproportionately large percentage of those mortgage loans and see firsthand family after family, most of whom are black, sitting on the curb with their children and all of their belongings after having been evicted from their homes because they can't afford the mortgage which they should never have been approved for in the first place.

Most of us, both black and white, expect when we apply for a loan, that the lender has at least some responsibility to ascertain whether we have any business receiving this loan in the first place. This may be a bad assumption, but it is one which most of us make when applying for a home loan. We assume the bank checked us out and determined that we will, in fact, be able to make our payments without going bankrupt. When I see these distraught families, their lives in ruins, crying in the streets because of a political ploy that was used solely as a pay-off in exchange for their votes in the past, I get upset. When I hear the very corrupt individuals responsible for this disaster self-righteously blaming the very people who tried to stop them, while simultaneously using the resulting chaos to once again sucker their victims into putting them back into power, I get angry.

I know Machiavelli was right. But I just can't help getting angry. I hate injustice. And most of all, I hate sociopaths.

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The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil

Little Kylie

Little Kylie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.



"Tell me Kylie, who created the universe?"

When Kylie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.



"God Almighty!" shouted Kylie

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Kylie,



"Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Kylie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.



"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Kylie

And the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Kylie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question ...



"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"




Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Kylie jumped up and shouted,



"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time , I'll break it in half!"



The nun fainted








And now for something ... um .. wtf ...

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