Haircut

Good
My Wife got a haircut. She had 14 inches cut off of her beautiful hair.

I really, really don't like it.

She asked me how I liked it.

I really, really don't like it.

I looked at her and honestly didn't know what to say. I'm not a good liar. I can't remember exactly what I said, but she wasn't fooled.

It looks like the exact same ugly short haircut that her mother has. Now she looks just like her mother. I have absolutely no attraction to her mother whatsoever.

It is also the exact same haircut that her misandric, control-freak grandmother in New York had up until the day she died, alone and bitter, and not much in control anymore.

The next day, she came home from work and said that the guys at work say they love her new haircut and don't want her to grow her hair long again. I do not believe her. Guys never say that.

I really, really do not like it.


Bad

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Speeding

A Kentucky senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-65, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Fifteen years ago, my wife ran off with a Kentucky State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

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