Little Red Riding Hood - part 8

The Trial begins

Ms Haighter swaggered slowly over to Brandon and his wheelchair. She was dressed in a long gray skirt that appeared to be made of wool, brown sensible shoes, a white blouse buttoned all the way to her neck, and black rimmed glasses. Her hair was cut short. It was dark brown and appeared unwashed. As she stood in front of Brandon, arms crossed over her chest, Brandon suddenly realized that she looked a lot like Jane Hathaway from the old “The Beverly Hillbillies” TV series. He had to fight the urge to laugh once the thought crossed his mind. Every time he looked at her he started hearing the Beverly Hillbillies theme song in his head.

Do you mind if I call you Brandon?

“So Brandon,” she said with an exaggerated slowness, “do you mind if I call you Brandon?”

Brandon looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if she was joking. “Um, no, that's my name.”

“Good,” she responded, looking smug, as if she has just made a valuable point. “So Brandon, tell me about that night, the night when Katie Reidenhausen was raped and you ran away and left her there bleeding and crying while she fought for her life.”

“Well,” Brandon began to reply. “First of all, I don't know much. I never saw anyone approach her. I was talking to her when I saw what time it was and realized that I was late getting home. My parents had already warned me not to be late again. So I told her I had to go and then I drove off. She told me later that that guy, Wolf, came up to her just as I was leaving. I never saw him. I just know what she said. Second of all, she wasn't actually raped ...”

Objection!

“Objection, your Honor! The Violence Against Women Act's Rape Shield Laws prohibit the accused from denying that a rape occurred if The State says that it did. Brandon is clearly in violation of federal law when he says that Katie Reidenhausen was not raped!”

The judge straightened abruptly in his chair and said in an oddly deep voice, “Yes, you are correct. The court instructs that the defendant never again contradict the statement that Katie Reidenhausen was raped. If you deny it again you will be found in contempt. Do you understand?”

Brandon looked confused for a minute and then replied, “did no one else actually read the police report or ask Red, er, Katie what actually happened that night? Just bring her in and she'll tell you ...”

“Objection, your honor!” Ms Haighter screamed, cutting Brandon off again. “The Violence Against Women Act specifically prohibits any attempt by the defense to force a rape victim to testify or answer any questions whatever. Clearly the defendant is attempting to rape Katie Reidenhausen all over again!”

“You are correct, prosecutor,” the judge said in his standared deeper voice than he actually possessed, sort of like George Takei, the gay actor from the original Star Trek series who also talks with an obviously fake deep voice which always seems really weird. “The court warns the defendant to never again say that Katie Reidenhausen was not raped or you will be found in contempt and prohibited from speaking again. Do you understand?” he bellowed, pointing at Brandon.

Oh myyyyyyy

“Uh” Brandon stammered. “I'm a bit confused. I thought this was supposed to be a hearing where I answered questions about the night Red was attacked. How can I answer questions if I'm not allowed to speak or even point out when you've said something that is already known not to be true?”

“Just you answer the questions the prosecutor asks you, but don't violate federal law while you do it. Is that clear, young man?”

“Uh, OK, but I'm not a lawyer so I don't know these very weird federal laws you two keep quoting and you've disallowed me from having a lawyer to advise me, so how do I know what the federal laws are?” Brandon asked, obviously very confused.

The judge and prosecutor looked at each other, then at Brandon, and then back at each other. Finally, the judge said to Brandon in his ridiculously fake deep George Takei voice, “we'll tell you what you can and can't say. As long as you only answer how we tell you and never say what we tell you not to say you should be OK and not get into any trouble.”

Then the judge and prosecutor both turned and looked at Brandon as if waiting for him to say that he understood.

“That's … uh … sure, whatever.” Brandon responded in obvious confusion.

The prosecutor then returned to questioning Brandon. “So let's change gears for a minute,” she said. “Let's talk about your relationship to Katie. She's a very attractive girl, don't you think?”

There was an awkward silence. Finally Brandon said, “Can I answer now? Is it OK for me to speak? Or will I get into trouble again?”

“You can answer,” the judge instructed.

“OK. Uh, sure, she's pretty good looking.” Brandon admitted.

“And you and she have known each other for how long?”

“Since we were kids, like more than 10 years, I think.” Brandon replied.

“So you both reached sexual maturity together, more or less, is that right?”

“Uh, what? Uh, I guess so, yeah, I'm two years older than her but yeah, we reached, uh, sexual maturity a year or two apart from one another. Sure.”

“So it's safe to say that you both developed strong sexual urges at about the same time, correct?”

“Uh ..” Brandon tried to answer.

“And you both 'knew' each other” the prosecutor said as she made air quotes to emphasize the word 'knew', “during that time, as your sexual urges began to overwhelm you both, correct?”

“Uh ..” Brandon said.

“And at what point did you and Katie Reidenhausen first begin having sex together? And remember, you are under oath.” Prosecutor Haighter demanded.

“And also remember that federal law prohibits you from contradicting the assertions of the prosecutor. “ the judge bellowed.

What? We haven't ...

“What? We haven't … uh … how do I answer without … uh” Brandon stumbled.

“You DO know that for you, a 17-year-old male to engage in sexual intercourse with Katie, a 15-year-old female, is statutory rape, don't you?” Prosecutor Haighter shouted at Brandon, accusingly.

“Look, Katie and I are friends and we've known each other for a long time, but she's more like a sister to me than … I mean …”

“You cannot deny the prosecutor's statement that you and Katie engaged in illegal sexual relations.” The judge warned in his George Takei voice.

Brandon stood silently thinking for a few moments and finally responded, “Look, I'm gay, so … you can try to accuse me of having sex with Katie all you want, but that would mean you'd have to deny me my rights as a gay man, and isn't that against some federal law somewhere, too?”

The court went completely silent as the judge and entire prosecution team were momentarily stunned.

Across town, inside the White House where President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder were watching the nationally televised trial together, they each shouted in unison, “Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

Gay rights protestors from Connecticut to California immediately began pouring into the streets, waving signs and chanting “let Brandon go!”, “Brandon has a right to be gay”, and “No Hate for Brandon!”

The feminists were already in the streets, having been there all along waving signs that said “Castrate Brandon” and “All men are rapists.” The gay activists were mostly male. The lesbians were already out there making up the majority of the feminist protestors. The black protestors, supporters of Wolf, cheered as their enemies, the radical feminists, were now caught between the screaming and violent gay men and the perpetually angry black protestors. The flying spit of screaming militants quickly turned into flying fists, as the angry gay men raised the tension level of the protests to a new and bloodier high.

Another election year

You have read this article Brandon / Little Red Riding Hood / trial with the title . You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2012/09/little-red-riding-hood-part-8.html. Thanks!

Nude Memphis Movie Reviews

2016
It's a documentary. What is there to say? It's a documentary by a man from India who thoroughly researched who Barack Obama is and then produced a movie about what he learned. The movie includes interviews with Barack Obama's own half-brother, who lives in Kenya in a hut, and several of Barack Obama Sr's friends in Kenya who knew him well.  Barack Obama Sr is extremely relevant because he was apparently extremely influential in forming the beliefs and philosophies of Barack Obama Jr., the President of the United States.

Supporters of Obama have attacked it endlessly. I'm pretty sure they haven't seen it because there is nothing in it that justifies their criticisms of the film. It's a documentary about Obama. It's about his history and how he became the man he is today and who exactly that man is. It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican, if you live in the United States you might want to know who the President is. Less is known about this president than any American president in history. Apparently his supporters want to keep it that way.

I rate this movie 3 stars. It's a documentary. In order for it to get 4 stars it'd have to include something remarkable like Jessica Biel naked or, I don't know, Ben Stein getting a leading religious atheist to explain how he thinks belief in a supreme being creating life on earth is crazy, but he himself believes that aliens came flying by and "seeded the Earth" with life, which is almost exactly the same thing. It didn't, though, so 3 stars is it. 3 stars means it's worth seeing. Go see it. It's worth your time. It doesn't suck.

Hit and Run
Kristen Bell produced and stars in this movie about a guy in witness protection dating a teacher who gets a job offer on the other end of the country. She has to move for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and in order to keep from losing her, he decides to leave witness protection and go with her.

I read the reviews before I went. They were either 1 star or 5 stars, with almost nothing in-between. People loved the shit out of it or else they hated it. The haters harped on the fact that the guy from "The Hangover" was in it, and yet the movie wasn't another redo of "The Hangover" with the same gags or pace or any of that. I'm not sure why people see an actor or actress in a single film and decide that from that point on they should only do the one type of film or even just sequels to that one film, but apparently people often feel that way. This is not "The Hangover."

This film is a love story that includes several good car chases, some fights, a number of good gags, and a lot of big names in leading roles. It's a good movie. I was in a totally shit mood when I went into the theater. And I was the first and only person sitting in the entire theater for about 15 minutes before a grand total of 4 other people came in and sat down, too. Then the movie started. I had the best seat in the place so trust me when I say this is a good movie. It isn't "The Hangover" and has nothing to do with it, so forget that shit and just go see this movie with the understanding that it's pretty funny, but nothing like that other movie.

I give it 3 1/2 stars. I might give it 4 stars just because it has Kristen Bell in it, but if 3 stars means it doesn't suck and you should go see it, and 4 stars has come to mean I was thrilled to death by it, and 5 stars is a rating I almost never give because I have to just be super excited, then 3 1/2 stars means this film is really good, I'm glad I saw it, you should go see it, and bring a date. Just don't assume because one guy from "The Hangover" is in it that its going to be a remake of that movie. It isn't. It's totally different.

Hope Springs
I was dragged to this movie by someone. It's a love story for married people. It doesn't move fast and there are no car chases, no scenes of Kristen Bell in her bra and panties (Hit and Run has that!) and no shoot-outs or fist fights that I can recall.

Everyone in the audience appeared to be older, married, and either dragging or dragged there by their significant other. There was lots of sniffling in the audience throughout the film, not all of it by me, and several older women had to go pee in the middle of the movie. I guess it was a little long, but it didn't feel long to me.

Anyway, this was a good movie overall. It's hard to put Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep together in a film and not get a good result. This was really well done.  Mimi Rogers even made a cameo appearance as the hot neighbor that Tommy Lee Jones' has always wanted to have a threesome with. Steve Carrel plays it straight as the marriage counselor. No jokes or mugging by him throughout the entire film. He did a great job.

I give this film 3 1/2 stars. It's a good movie. If you're single and never had any relationship problems then it may bore you, but if you've ever been married or in a long-term relationship that maybe had some problems then you'll probably understand the story and the characters and get into it. You have to know what you're getting into beforehand, though, or else you may go into it like the idiots going to see "Hit and Run" who were expecting another "The Hangover" and then got all pissed off because the movie wasn't that. This is a movie worth seeing. It's actually pretty funny despite the sniffly, teary-eyed women in the theater.

Country Strong - DVD (2010)

Gwyneth Paltrow plays one of the most famous country music stars in the world, Kelly Canter. But she's had a recent meltdown, falling offstage while drunk and pregnant, causing her to lose the baby. She went into a deep depression, ended up in rehab for months, and needs to stay there for quite awhile longer to recover.

Her husband James Canter, played by Tim McGraw, has other ideas. He is anxious to get her back onstage. Her very public drunken fall has ruined her reputation and ended one of their biggest shows of the tour, a date in Dallas, Texas. He's worried she's going to lose her fame and all her dreams because of one stupid mistake. The longer to story goes on, the more we get the impression that it wasn't just one incident. She's an alcoholic trainwreck. She gets drunk and takes pills and then she's out-of-control. While in rehab she has a 'sponsor', an aspiring country music singer who is convinced that he's in love with her. It quickly becomes clear that they've been sleeping together while she was in rehab. When her husband, James, pulls her out of rehab before she's ready so she can go back on the road, she insists that her boyfriend and country music singer, join the tour as the warm-up act. Her husband has already chosen another act, a girl named Chiles Stanton, to be the warm-up act. But Kelly refuses to give in, so they compromise and bring both no-names as their warm-up acts.

The complications that ensue, with everyone trying to keep Kelly away from alcohol and ready to perform, Kelly clearly having no desire to be onstage at all, and everyone at one time or another trying to sleep with everyone else, leads to a very complicated, yet believable story of big dreams and even bigger disappointments. It's a tragic tale, and far better than I had even expected. Gwyneth Paltrow rarely does a bad movie. This was no exception.

I give Country Strong a solid 4 1/2 stars. This film is impressive.

You have read this article 2016 / Country Strong / Hit and Run / Hope Springs Eternal / movie reviews with the title . You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2012/09/nude-memphis-movie-reviews.html. Thanks!