I went running during my lunch hour the other day. It was hot and humid and I was dying from an extreme lack of sleep two nights before. The day after not sleeping I was fine, but on the second day, the day I was to run, it was killing me. Still, I'm not pretty enough to skip a workout, so I went anyway.
Between my second and third mile the heat was really getting me. So I took off my shirt and ran without it. As I was coming to the end of my third mile I passed a high school girl and her friend who were standing in her driveway talking. She glanced at me running by and I swear I overheard her say, "Scary!"
Yes, thanks. As if I wasn't motivated enough already. That's lovely. Thanks again. I'm sure the slam will motivate me to keep on running from now until the day I die.
This morning I started the day off by dodging squirrels that were shooting across the street in front of me as I was driving to work. One of them waited until just the wrong moment before he went for it. I tried to dodge, but I could hear the crunch and I knew I had left a flat squirrel pelt on the road where I live. It didn't make me feel very good.
By lunch it was time to run again. It wasn't as hot today. So I popped some Ephedra before taking off. Actually it was Stacker 2, which I believe is off the market and replaced with Stacker 3 or 4 or whatever. Anyway, I still have a bottle. Ephedra makes me feel like I've got a final exam and it's 90 percent of my grade. It makes me shaky and nervous. But it really doesn't make any difference if you feel shaky and nervous when you're in the middle of a run. I always used to feel that same way before every single race in track and cross country. I felt that way before all my basketball games. And I felt that way before every soccer game I ever played. So shaky and nervous aren't a new experience for me. Not that I like it or anything.
There were more people out and about than I expected. I passed a guy mowing the grass at the park, which I thought was interesting since I passed 2 guys mowing the grass at that same park on Tuesday when I ran by. How often do you need to mow the grass? Do they have some kind of mutant super grass? How could it have grown enough to need mowing again so soon?
I passed a guy walking. I waved and he said, "Hello, how are you?" That is about the most unusual thing I think that has ever happened to me here in My Little Redneck Town. Very few people here are friendly enough to even acknowledge me when I wave, let alone speak to me. So I replied as I ran past, "fine, thanks."
Then I passed another runner coming the other way. I waved and he waved back weakly.
Then I passed a huge guy wearing a back brace. I waved and he nodded. I may not be huge like him, but at least I don't have to wear a back brace, that's all I can say. He must have been about 6'5" at least, and built like a weightlifter.
As I exited the park I passed an old man wearing glasses and headphones. I waved and he ignored me. Yeah, he's definitely from here. That's the usual reaction from the natives. Fuck you very much. That's how they respond. Like the girl on Tuesday who say "scary" as I sweated by her.
So I made it home, passing the mailman and two women after the old man. They all had their backs to me, so I didn't wave or shout "hello" at them.
You're probably thinking, "and so what happened next? What was it about your run that was so exciting that you wrote it here?"
Yeah, nothing happened next. I'm just blogging. It was pretty unexciting really. Sorry. I hope I didn't disappoint you.
Oh, one thing that did happen is that My Wife called me after she got home from work to scream about the TV having all channels above 100 locked out. Neither of us did it, which means that the Dish Network or whatever is hosed again. Then she went off about her car. Something wasn't right. She was just generally in a really awful mood, so she called me at work to blow off steam. You know how badly I don't need that when I'm at work trying to fix a problem with some software? Yeah, I REALLy don't need it. Thanks.
After I got home from work I had to mow the grass. Good thing I put my heavy boots on to do it, because if I hadn't I'd be short one big toe right now. When I was trying to turn the thing off, after having finished mowing, it was vibrating around all over the place in the driveway. This thing shakes more than Janet Reno. It could mow the yard by itself if it'd just shake in a straight line. Anyway, as I leaned over it, the thing turned around towards me and went over my foot, chopping off the top of my boot at the toe. I felt it hit my big toe, which hurt like a mofo, but it chopped the boot instead of my foot and for that I'm eternally grateful. Wow, that was a close call. I'm gonna bronze that boot and buy a new pair.
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