It was a bad game. A shot at the championship was on the line. Texas was predicted to win big. Until their starting quarterback went down at the start of the game. He was knocked out with a neck injury on their opening drive as he rammed the ball into the endzone headfirst on fourth and goal. The game was up for grabs.
My wife was watching it with me. When the game started she had plenty to say about Texas, not knowing who was who and who I was cheering for.
WIFE: Men shouldn't wear all white. They look so dumb. They look like they're dressed for a wedding or something.
Several minutes passed as I pondered her criticism of Texas' white uniforms. She went back to looking at a magazine. But then she started watching again.
WIFE: I just think the white is dumb. They look like something out of an old '60s science fiction movie. Those movies are gay.
Things got uglier. Kansas State smelled blood. They knew they had a shot with Texas missing their star quarterback. They went for it and managed to run up a good lead. And then Texas' starting center went down.
My wife saw him go down, but she didn't see what happened. So she asked me about it.
WIFE: What happened to the popballer?
ME: Huh? The what?
WIFE: The popballer.
... BLINK BLINK ...
ME: I don't know what you're asking.
WIFE: What happened to the popballer? The guy who pops the ball? What happened?
... BLINK BLINK ....
ME: You call the player who stands in front of the quarterback and hikes the ball to him the 'popballer'?
WIFE: It sounds right to me. He pops the ball to the quarterback. He's the popballer. Or Snatchballer. STOP LAUGHING AT ME! Is he not the popballer? Or the snatchballer?
ME: No.
WIFE: Then WHAT IS HE CALLED?!
At this point I was just being mean. I didn't want to tell her. I just couldn't believe that anyone could forget what a Center is and call it something as wild as "Popballer" or "Snatchballer", but I've known my wife long enough that I shouldn't have been so surprised. Finally I gave in.
ME: He's the center. He's called the center.
WIFE: The center?! That's a stupid name for him. He pops the ball to the quarterback. He snatches it to him. I think popballer or snatchballer makes a lot more sense.
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