There's no damned coffee and I'm dying. All week long I've survived on cold medicine and Kleenex. Now it's Friday, almost noon, and I'm falling out of my chair. I need coffee and I need it now. But there isn't any.
Oh hell, I just farted and I think it may have left a mark. Geez, I need to go to the bathroom and check. Don't you hate that feeling, as you walk all the way down the hall to the bathroom and aren't quite sure if you're just skidding up your draws as you go? What a nasty feeling. Shit.
I'm just catching it from both ends today. My head is a blur, my ass is all squishy, and I feel wobbly and tired. Augh!
OK, I just now discovered that if you mistype the word "this" then you get "shit". Isn't that awesome?