A Me Me Meme that I stole from Kami

1] What is your middle name?
Tatar Salad

2] What color is your mailbox?
Lemonaide Blue

3] Are you available?
For what, a violent revolt against the PC Nazis? Sure. Dating? Not so much.

4] Have you ever hit a deer?
Hey, he hit me first. It was self-defense, dammit!

5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
Depends on whether you mean home to my house or home to my real home where I came from.

6] Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
Yes, and I'd appreciate if you'd stop letting your dog pee on it.

7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Whoever comes home first.

8] Do you have a small driveway?
It holds 4 full-sized cars or trucks. What do you classify as 'small'?

9] Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
Yes, anyone with a Nokia phone that hasn't changed it yet.

10] What do you do first in the morning?
Pee

11] What brand is your printer?
HP, and just how is this exciting for you? Can we replace this question? Yes? Good, let's try again.

11] Have you ever shot at your neighbor or your neighbor's pet for any reason?
Yes, and I hit him, too. I was studying for finals one night and the neighbor's damn dog started barking at 2 freakin' a.m., so I shot him with an air rifle and shut him up. The preacher's dogs, 3 houses up were barking, too, but after I shot the first dog and pointed the rifle their way they shut up, too. I don't know if it was coincidence or if they actually realized what was going on. Either way, I had damn finals.

12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
What, kickboxing? Or a real fight? I'm not into drama. In fact, I'll fight you to stop the drama sooner than I'd fight just to fight. Only white-trash and ghetto-queens fight for fun.

13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Straight and flatter than your momma's ass.

14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Miss Adair, at Weatherly Baptist when I was 4 years old.

15] Are you taller than your mother?
Oh hell yes.

16] Do you have a favorite word?
No, but I have several words that I use too often and too quickly.

17] Are you God?
Does anyone really expect God to have a blog? Isn't being crucified for our sins enough?

18] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
Run and work out and never go home except just long enough to sleep.

19] Do you have a deep dark secret?
I don't know how deep or dark it is. I'm just not exciting enough compared to most people these days.

20] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Writing? No. But I could do a nice portrait for you with some.

21] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My back hurts from moving a lot of heavy stuff yesterday.

22] Do you often cry during a movie?
Yeah, when they chained that race car to the repaving machine they called "Betsy" and made him repave the road when he really needed to be in California practicing for the Piston Cup race, I just cried and cried. Poor race car, they just won't let you go!

23] Do you hate your life?
Can you call this a life? I don't know that you could.

24] Do you get mad easily?
Define 'mad'

25] What is your biggest pet peeve?
Man haters and screaming fanatics, but I repeat myself.

26] What is your away message?
I dunno. I'm away when it's up so I don't see it often.

27] Do any of your friends have kids?
Most of them.

28] Who should pay on the first date?
Anna Nicole

29] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
I don't know. I don't generally think of a number and then say "ooh, if only you were 3 months younger we could hook up."

30] Do you have any friends?
Yes.

31] Do you have any mean friends?
Generally I find that mean people are not really your friends.

32] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
Envy green.

33] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand?
I dated her. My friends were right, though.

34] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff?
No, that would be a waste of a perfectly good car. Jumping maybe, but not driving.

35] Do you itch your ears?
I don't itch anything. I scratch parts of me when they itch, though. Ears included.

36] What brand are the pant/jeans you are wearing right now?
Levi's

46] Do you like your dad?
My dad died several months ago. Leave it alone.

47] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
My Name Is Earl, First Season

48] Are you wearing makeup?
No, unlike some in our Congress I am not "gender confused".

49]Do you have a tattoo?
Yeah, it says "Don't Tess with Mexas." I did it myself. I was a little drunk at the time.

50] Do you know how to draw?
Yes, I used to be good, but I haven't drawn anything in years.

51] Who is your hero?
Anyone who will stand up to those who say that hating white males is not hate, and take them to court over it. You, too, can be my hero.

52] Who did you last IM?
Melanie, my favorite Texas Spitfire

53] Do you work a lot of hours?
I work normal hours, but I am not making as much progress as I should.

54] What do you do when you are stressed out?
Either work out or surf the net. Lately the net has been winning.

55] Who was the last person to call you?
Bellsouth - those bitches won't stop harassing me.

56] Is there anything you regret?
Yes, several years' worth of anythings

57] Do you know where your family name originated from?
Wales - we were apparently slaves of King John of England, that bastard. I want REPARATIONS!

58] Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Yes, Courtney Love. She's just plain nasty.

59] What was the last thing you did for fun?
It's been too long. I can't remember.

60] Last time you cried?
I don't bother crying anymore. I just sit and stare at the things going on in the world and wonder how much longer.
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