All through elementary school and middle school I was "Jones."
In the 8th grade I got nicknamed "Ex-Lax" after Michelle Joyce and Kevin Wright slipped me some chocolate Ex-Lax without telling me what it was and the teachers sent me home just in case the floodgates opened up.
In college the cheerleaders nicknamed me "pooter pants" because I farted a bunch during a practice and it smelled really bad. The girl I was working with at the time, Tabby Cobb, very much did not appreciate my fartiferousness. But then one of the girls on the squad, Julie Harris, while sitting down on the cold concrete floor, ripped an earthshattering fart that brought the entire practice to a halt. She smiled sweetly and said with a deep Southern drawl, "when I fart, I fart!"
After my first knee surgery a coworker nicknamed me "Festus" after the limping cowboy on "Gunsmoke."
After I started making more friends on the internet than I have in all of Memphis I became "Memphis" just because that's where I am. Been "Memphis" ever since.
I guess they'll call me something else when I move?
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