It’s 3 a.m. and one of my cats has gone insane.
“What the hell is going on out there” I yelled down the hall, as if I were actually expecting my cats to explain their behavior to me.
“Well, you see, he took my ball and I want it back.”
No, there was no explanation from a magic talking cat, just more cat screaming.
“REEEEOOOOOOWWWWRRRRR!!!!!”
I stumbled into the living room in the dark. There I found Little Girl hunched up facing the back doors and screaming like Linda Blair on amphetamines.
“What the hell are you screaming about?” I asked as I walked very carefully to the door and peaked outside. There, all balled up, was a big white cat with huge black eyes. It was trying to peek back inside to see who was screaming at it when it suddenly noticed me. I expected it to run, but it just curled up more tightly, tucking its’ feet underneath even further than they already were, and stared at me.
“Who the hell are you?” I asked the white cat, again not expecting it to actually tell me. Actually I was expecting the cat to run. Most of the time when the Toms see me coming they beat it for the fence. This may have some connection to my old Red Ryder BB rifle, with which I am an excellent shot I might add, but I can’t really say for sure. Surprisingly, this cat did not appear to be familiar with my BB gun. It also did not appear to be a Tom. Its’ head was too small, so I concluded that it was either very young or a girl.
The cat just sat and stared at the glass without moving, except to try to peer inside. It was sitting on the concrete about a foot from the glass, which I thought was an odd and very cold place for a cat to be on this particular night. But it did not move from that spot.
Then it suddenly occurred to me that I had left the blinds partly open tonight. On all the previous nights for the past few months I had been closing them. Tonight I left them open enough that the cats could look outside. It is 20-something degrees out and nothing is better at leaking heat than my back doors. I decided that in all probability this cat had been using my back doorstep as a place to sleep and keep warm at night. The only reason my cat was screaming bloody murder tonight was that she hadn’t known the other cat was there on all the other nights.
So, wanting to get some sleep and not thinking it a good idea to bring the white cat inside to be mugged by my other 2 cats, I did what any logical man would do. I closed the blinds.
“OK, she’s gone now. You can be quiet and get back in your bed” I lied as I petted my little black street fighter. Once she started purring I went back to bed.
“REEEEOOOOOOWWWWRRRRR!!!!!”
6 a.m. and there was another scream. I went back out to the living room. Little Girl had peeked her nose through the blinds to watch the sun come up only to be surprised by the fact that the little white cat was still there. I peeked through myself and saw her hunkered up against the glass, ignoring my Little Girl and sleeping.
So I went back to bed to wait for my alarm. Damn cats.
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