Paris Sued For Fight Club Incident With Princess

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Paris Hilton hit with $10M slander suit after confrontation with actress

Originally By Lisa Sweetingham, Court TV
Modified For Pardody By Memphis Steve, Nude Memphis

SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Nude Memphis) — Paris Hilton is being sued for $10 million by a woman who claims the socialite porn star fed made-up tales of jealous and criminal behavior about her to the press.

"For motives which are not yet entirely clear, aside from just being a total bitch, defendant Paris Hilton and others recently caused a number of vicious lies about Ms. Zeta Graff, a professional model, actress, film producer, and Girl Scout Cookie sales champion of 1991, to be published in the New York Post," says Graff's slander and libel lawsuit.

"I just think the bitch needs a good ass-kicking," Graff's mother added.

Attorneys for both sides met briefly in a Santa Monica courtroom this morning where they hissed and scratched at one another. There was no hair-pulling as everyone had really short, dykey haircuts. Hilton's attorneys say they expect to respond to Graff's amended complaint in the next two weeks, but are still investigating the incident and trying to make up some more shit and spread it around because "it's just so much fun."

The judge, a family friend of the Hiltons, set the next court hearing for January 2010.

Graff, who had a small role as a princess in the 1997 film "The Fifth Element," claims Hilton conspired with her spokespoodle to spread a false story about their June 30 run-in at London nightclub Kabaret.

The article that ran in gossip columnist Richard Johnson's Page Six section on July 2 said Graff was seen attacking Hilton on Kabaret's dance floor in a jealous rage over a "scrumptous hunk of man-meat."

At the time, hotel heiress Paris Hilton, 24, was engaged to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, 22. Latsis, according to reports, who was unfortunate enough to also be named Paris, dated Graff for two years before hooking up with Hilton, making a sex video which he marketed on Ebay, and having a "Z" tattoo removed from his wrist.

"The Z was actually from a fight I had with Catherine Zeta-Jones at another club," boy-Paris claimed. "She had just finished filming "Zoro" and pulled a sword on me. It's not a tattoo. It's a scar. And I didn't even like the movie all that much."

When Graff saw Hilton and her ex dancing to Barry Manilow's "Copacabana," the Post said, she went "berserk," and appeared to lose her mind, just as the song's heroine Lola does over the loss of a lover.

Graff later admitted, "I hate that fucking song. It's so gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

The article goes on to lie that Graff tried to snatch a really gaudy $4 million diamond necklace off Hilton's neck, and had to be physically restrained by security guards before she was booted out of the club.

An unnamed source, identified only as 'Lyndsay Lohan', is quoted as saying she witnessed Graff screaming and trying to strangle Hilton. The source, appearing in the new "Herbie the Lovebug movie" in theaters now, went on to say that Graff, who is reportedly in her mid-30s, was "a woman who is older and losing her looks, and she's alone. She's very unhappy."

A Hilton "spokespoodle" is quoted as telling Page Six that "girl-Paris and boy-Paris just want to be left alone. This woman keeps turning up wherever they go, almost like a stalker. Tee hee. Are you gonna print that?" Hilton is quoted telling Page Six that she would not press charges, and just wants Graff "to go fuck herself."

According to Graff, that's not quite how it happened the night she ran into her ex's new girlfiend.

Graff says that it was Hilton who tapped her on the shoulder and whispered in her ear, "You're a fucking bitch. I'm going to destroy you," according to the model/actress/producer/girl scout cookie champion's complaint.

Paris countered, claiming "that's not what I said. I said "you're splitting a stitch. You're dress is destroyed." Really, I have witnesses. Tell them, Herbie, I mean, Lyndsay."

Graff alleges that she asked Hilton what she was talking about, but Hilton did not respond, instead sauntering over to a promoter at Kabaret to demand that Graff be removed from the club.

The suit makes certain to point out that it was Hilton who left first.

"[T]he promoter denied Hilton's request, saying "bitch, I ain't yo momma and I don't take out yo trash," which prompted Hilton and her friends to throw a huge tantrum involving shoe-throwing and a spectacular food fight, and leave shortly thereafter, while [Graff] and her friends stayed for another hour or so trying on the shoes," Graff's complaint sort of reads.

Hilton's accusations that the actress attacked her and tried to rip the jewels from her neck, Graff says, are not supported "by even a spatula of truth."

"Ms. Hilton, her spokespoodle, and others acting on her behalf concocted a baseless story about Ms. Graff and, like Hillary running against Giuliani, fed it to the idiotic gossip columnists at the New York Post for immediate publication, and then watched as media outlets picked up and republished the malicious falsehoods and outright fabrications to millions of people around the world," the suit says.

British media outlets The Sunday Mail and The People ran brief stories about the alleged catfight, but then later published formal apologies to Graff, announcing that the incident never occurred, and that they had agreed to pay Graff damages because Paris had "totally screwed us on this one."

Page Six's Richard Johnson declined to comment on the matter, citing threats of a total shutout from all the cool parties by Paris and her friends. The Post has not published an apology, but it has published some really bad photographs of Sandra Bullock.

Graff wants Hilton to pay for the mudslinging, and is asking for upwards of $10 million, an amount Paris likely has in left her shoe, as her "reputation and good name, as well as her present and future earning potential, have been irreparably harmed throughout Los Angeles, New York and elsewhere around the world," her complaint says.

Graff's attorney, Yogi Berra, declined to comment, as he also is afraid of being shut out socially from all the best parties.

Hilton's attorneys Ann Lisa Loeb and Larry Bernstein-Bear also declined to discuss the case, but mentioned that Paris throws some really kickass parties and it can be a bitch to be shut out by her.

In a fitting postscript to the jealous love triangle that spurned a lawsuit, Paris and Paris have also drop-kicked one another, as the tabloids lost interest and the porn videos didn't sell as well as expected.

Earlier this month, the Post reported that Hilton phoned Latsis to break off their five-month engagement, while her new beau Stavros Niarchos, also a Greek shipping heir, was on the line giggling.

If this were a soap opera, it would be a hit. ABC is reportedly in talks with Paris to secure the rights to her real life story and has asked her to play herself, with occasional cameos by Nicky and other members of the Hilton family. The show is expected to be titled "Desperate Hiltons."
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