Ford Mustangs, The United Way, and Race For The Cure


This weekend The Woman I Am Currently Married To and I went to test drive a Nissan Xterra. She thinks she may want one and she may want me to buy it for her. She picked one out that she liked and we drove it around. She liked everything except the horsepower. She wants more "go." You can get one with a supercharger, or at least I saw some used ones listing a supercharger. Maybe I should mention it to her?

Before we left I decided to look at a new Mustang GT. I like the bodystyle of the newest ones better than the Honda-like body of the previous model. In fact, I hated the previous model. I test drove one in 1994, while looking for any remaining '93 GTs that they might have on their lot. It was a huge lot. But they had sold them all. There was not a single '93 GT remaining. "No problem," the salesman assured me, "because the new Mustangs are infinitely superior to the previous body style. You'll see." Then he tossed me the keys so we could go for a ride. The '94 GT sounded good. They tuned the exhaust for a nice rumble, but it was not fast and it looked and felt like a Honda Accord to me. If I wanted a Honda Accord I'd buy a Honda Accord. "No thanks."

Now they have a new Mustang, designed by some guy in a contest or something like that. It looks great. I sat in the driver's seat and started checking where everything is located before starting it up and driving off. The first thing I noticed was that my head rests against the doorframe. I adjusted the seat every way I could, but it did no good. The side of head was against the body of the car, just above the driver's door. Not against the roof itself, which was fine, but against the area just above the window. What the hell?

How dangerous is this? All I have to do is hit a hard bump and all the shock is transferred from the car to my head. Who thought this was a good idea? Has no one from Ford ever sat in this car? Perhaps they're all extremely short at Ford? I'm only 6 feet tall, for crying out loud, and I can't sit in this fucking car without risking a concussion? No wonder they sell more trucks than anything.

Maybe I need to try one of their convertibles instead?

My Dad once told me that he wanted to buy a Mustang way back in the '60s when they were brand new. He went to a dealer and everything. But when he sat in the car his head was pressed up against the roof and he had to duck. There was no way in hell he could drive that car. Carroll Shelby once said that the Mustang was designed to be a "secretary's car" and not intended as anything more. At the time, almost all secretaries were women and the average woman was no more than 5'5" or 5'6". The relatively low roof was not an issue for them. In fact, when I drove Suzie's '60s Mustang back in high school I don't recall having any trouble with my head hitting the roof, but my dad is taller than I am.

I had noticed, and I can't recall if I ever blogged about it or not, but I have never seen a new Mustang being driven by a man. Not once that I can recall. I see them every day driving to and from work, always being driven by a woman, and usually by a girl who looks to be in high school. I see no guys in new Mustangs these days. I had thought that was odd, especially considering how incredibly popular the '84-93 models had been with hot rod guys. After all, the new Mustangs look so much cooler than the previous Honda-cloned ones. You'd think hotrod guys would be buying them up. But they apparently aren't.

Now I guess I know why. Dammit. This is annoying, but maybe there is something I'm missing, a way to lower the seat so I don't have this problem? I really liked the car otherwise. It was tight and solid and smooth.

Oh well, maybe I'll test drive a new Pontiac GTO?

This morning as I was walking into work after parking way the hell out in the boondocks I saw a huge banner for the United Way emblazoned across our front entrance. In typical United Way fashion it featured a white girl, a black girl, and an Oriental girl. There were, of course, no boys at all. The United Way used to try to disguise its' screaming anti-male bias, putting numerous shelters that prohibit males under the listing "family shelters" without ever admitting that no male family members are allowed in any of them, no matter how dire their circumstances or great their need. I found this out by calling every single fucking "family" shelter on their list and asking them about admitting males. They all said, "no."

The United Way apparently took a lot of heat over their sexism, so in order to deal with the problem they simply stopped issuing the lists which were used to contact the shelters and talk to them directly. No list, no problem. See how that works?

In the past when our employers twisted our arms and told us that we are all going to give to the United Front, I mean, Way, they would give us lists and allow us to designate where we wanted our money to go. Apparently the new United Way, in true 'progressive' fashion, did not like the results of this and so removed our option to choose. No pro-choice at the United Way, no sir. Not when the results aren't to their liking. All money now goes to their central office and they will decide who is more deserving. We, the donor, cannot be trusted to make the 'correct' choice.

Or maybe that is just the way my current employer does it? I'd be curious to know, does your employer push you to donate to the United Way? Do they give you a list to let you choose where your money goes or do they just take it and give you no say?

On a related note, the Race For The Cure here in Memphis has been extremely controversial for as long as I have been living in Memphis. Some Memphis women took the race, which the central office claims was never intended to be for women only, and made it a women only/no men allowed event.

My Wife and I found this out the hard way, as we tried to sign up to run together like we do every race. They informed her that she was welcomed, but that I most certainly was not. So we informed them that we run together or not at all and left.

This no-males-allowed policy cut the potential funding in half, but made them very popular with corporate America, ever anxious to appease extremist movements. So the race began receiving huge sums of money, not from individuals, but from large corporations in Memphis, which as everyone knows are mostly run by gutless sociopaths. When runners protested the sexism a pathetic and half-hearted response was given, "it enhances the woman-experience to exclude men."

Shortly thereafter the women in charge of the Memphis race declared that they were mysteriously bankrupt despite the hurricane Katrina-like inflow of corporate cash they had been receiving, and freely spending apparently. All the money disappeared and the large Memphis headquarters was shut down. There was no investigation or explanation.

Why did a once-per-year charitable race have a large, year-round headquarters in the first place? That was a question I wanted to hear answered, but our local news media refused to ask. So the horde of dollars and the women spending it both disappeared. Poof! No questions asked and no refunds.

The next year a supposedly new group of women took up the cause and the race continued, but now with males allowed to run, too. Apparently these were truly not the same women as before. Donations came pouring in, as always, and everything was back to business as usual.

Saturday, while driving home from Shelby Farms, I passed a large, brand new, very expensive, silver BMW . Painted down the side was a huge pink bow and the words "Race For The Cure."

Yes, this is what your donations are being used for, among other things, to buy this woman a very expensive, high-end, silver BMW. Aren't you proud?

That's how it's done here in Memphis.
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