I had another dream last night. All night long I dreamed I was packing up my house and loading it all into a moving van. Boy, that was fun. I woke up feeling awful. I'm not looking forward to actually doing that.
Now let's look at some headline news:
This is one of those situations where you just want to smack someone upside the head. How many generations have wasted valuable time trying to 'talk sense' to maniacal dictators like this asshole instead of blowing them up and getting it over with? There is no talking with this guy. In the words of the great philosopher Chris Tucker, "Just shoot his ass. SHOOT HIS ASS!"
At last, my shit is going to make me rich!
When all you hear your entire life is that (your) sex is all that matters, and that men are secretly conspiring to 'keep the woman down' then you might be forgiven for voting with your vagina rather than your brain. But you should at least be aware that this is exactly the sort of thing that the politicians want you to do. Of course, in this election it really doesn't matter anyway.
It just goes to show you that any old clown can be a Senator when the major parties care only about power and control and nothing about the country. We can laugh or we can cry. Bring in the clowns!
Why so serious?
Barry there really fucked up when he picked old lady Biden to be his vice, and I do mean 'vice', president. Now it appears there's only one person in this whole square dance with a complete pair of balls, and it's looking like it's Sarah Palin.
U.S. voters have been frustrated for a long, long time. But here we have the Federal Government trying to cover their asses by bailing the whole thing out with more of working Americans' money. The Feds mandated that banks give affirmative action loans to applicants based more on race and sex than on any ability to qualify, and all that corruption and favoritism led to more corruption at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and then filtered on down to the individual banks. But none of the crooks are going to pay because if anyone follows this scandal up the chain it'll eventually land squarely in the U.S. Government's lap. Not that Fannie and Freddie aren't corrupt as hell. I worked in a major U.S. bank long enough to smell their shit and believe me, it stank.
Now there's a well-thought-out excuse. That'd probably get him off in Arkansas. Or New Jersey.
A 51-year-old Australian surfer had a shark get tangled up in his leg rope and start towing him out to sea before breaking loose and swimming off. American animal rights extremists are probably boarding a Qantas jet right now to go protest and demand that the surfer be arrested and tortured for cruelty to animals.
"FRESNO, Calif. - Authorities say they've arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing." - Dudes, that wasn't a sausage.
This is the sort of shit that could only happen in Arkansas. I'll bet this kid is going to be popular as hell at school. "You won't fucking believe what happened to me!" he'll say via text messaging to all this friends 'cause, you know, he can't talk.
Now THAT'S what I call thinking positive!
OK, if you're running from the cops you can't very well drag your 3-year-old son along with you without ripping his arm off, now can you? And if you'd ever seen how Memphis cops treat Memphians then you might understand better why this man ran for his life after a minor accident. "TASER TASER TASER!
And now, for no particular reason at all ...
WARNING: This is going to stick in your head for days
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