Memphis at the gym
I went to the gym last night. The usual cavalcade of hot 18-year-old girls wasn't there. A woman who appeared to be in her late 30s came in. I had never seen her before. I was busy focusing on my workout and not thinking about being smooth for the ladies, as if my thinking about it really helps any.
Anyway, I went to the water fountain and as I was walking back to the bench press I passed her by. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Then she said, "Hi, how are you?"
I wasn't thinking. I said, "Hot, sweaty and stinky."
OK, this is not the sort of thing you'd hear James Bond saying to a woman. Or even George Clooney, I suppose. It isn't the sort of thing that any ladies' man I know of would ever suggest a man say to impress a woman. But here's the thing, she started laughing really hard. And she kept talking to me.
Now me being married I can't really get serious about picking up women at the gym, even if they don't know I'm married since I can't wear my ring and lift weights, too, because the bars will destroy the ring. Nevertheless, I got the impression that I might be able to have her if I wanted.
Who would have thought that "hot, sweaty and stinky" would make such a fabulous impression? And she was good-looking, too. If I had known this years ago I would have run around saying it all the time. That aerobics instructor, Susan Tackett, who shot me down like a U2 spy plane over China, would have melted in my hands. She would have been mine. But no, I had no clue that such an off-hand remark could be so powerful. I just said, "you wanna get something to eat" and she whipped out the machine guns. Down I went.
Women - you are all just goofy.
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