I constantly encounter people who say "I'm a Christian, but ..." and then they say something like "I don't think Jesus rose from the dead" or "I don't think the Bible is true" or something along those lines. This, to me, is like the fat guy at my gym who says, "I'm a bodybuilder" and yet all he does is stand around talking and eating energy bars all night long. No one has ever seen this guy actually pick up a weight or even break a sweat. He hasn't got a muscle in his entire body. But he swears on the latest issue of "Flex" that he's a bodybuilder. Well you know what, just saying it don't make it so.
So if you identify yourself as being a Christian I just want to say:
If you are fond of saying, "I don't think the Bible is really relevant to today" you might not be a Christian.
If you reject or apologize for the writings of the Apostle Paul because your feminist friends don't like him you might not be a Christian.
If you go to church to pick up members of the opposite sex more than anything else you might not be a Christian.
If you go to church to make business deals more than anything else you might not be a Christian.
If you prefer churches that teach from Sports Illustrated more often than the Bible you might not be a Christian (yes, this is actually happening.)
If you prefer a preacher who spews hatred of those "Bible-believing Christians" at that "other church" across town more than a preacher who just opens the Bible and talks about God or Jesus you might not be a Christian.
If you prefer a preacher who spews absolute hatred of those "damned faggots/liberals/conservatives/fundis/neocons" rather than a preacher who talks about the grace of God you might not be a Christian.
If you have ever said "I don't think it matters what you believe. We're probably all going to Heaven anyway" you might not be a Christian.
If you prefer to be popular with anti-Christians more than with God you might not be a Christian.
If you frequently apologize for the Bible to your non-Christian friends you might not be a Christian.
If you are frequently heard to say that the Bible is irrelevant and was written by a bunch of stupid white males in sheets you might not be a Christian.
If you think 'truth is relative' is a biblical teaching you might not be a Christian.
If you think 'diversity of faiths and beliefs' is encouraged in the Bible you might not be a Christian.
If you think "from each according to his ability to each according to his need" was originally said by Jesus Christ you might not be a Christian.
If you think that the idea that men can build a peaceful global Utopia here on this Earth is supported by the writings in the Bible you might not be a Christian.
If you think that "do not judge others" means that no Christian can criticize or condemn the actions of another you might not be a Christian.
If you think that when the Bible specifically lists an action as being a sin it does not necessarily mean that it is a sin you might not be a Christian.
If you do not believe in the existence of evil you might not be a Christian.
If you don't believe in the existence of God you might not be a Christian.
If you don't believe Jesus was born of a virgin, killed on the cross, or rose from the dead you might not be a Christian.
If you think Jesus wasn't necessarily Jewish, but might have been black instead, you might not be a Christian.
If you don't know why Jesus has to be Jewish in order to be the Messiah you might not be a Christian.
If you don't actually know what "Christian" means you might not be a Christian.
OK, so that's what I wanted to say. I don't know why exactly, but it just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. I've said several times that I'm a bad Baptist and a bitter Christian, but even I don't apologize for the Bible or fall for that "don't judge means you can't call a spade a spade" bullcrap. I know what I believe and I know why I believe it. I have several friends who say in no uncertain terms that they are not a Christian and that is their business. But for people who say that they are a Christian and really don't know what being a Christian means I'd simply say, why don't you make sure you know what you're talking about first and then decide if you want to call yourself a Christian? Or do you want to be like that guy who calls himself a bodybuilder simply because he's a member of the gym?
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