I did a fast workout with high reps and low weight. I didn't have much time and I needed to go fast. I pumped and pumped as I glanced at the posters on the walls featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime. Yeah, I look nothing like that.
When I was done, I went into the locker room and took a shower. When I got out of the shower and began to get dressed I had the unfortunate experience of seeing my full nude profile in the mirror.
Ugh.
I stood there looking in horror. This is the guy that flirts with gorgeous women on the internet? This guy? THIS guy?! Oh Lord, what if they ever emailed and said "hey, I'm coming to Memphis to see you, you big stud, you!"
I would shit. I mean, oh my God, I look like ASS.
I thought maybe it was just an off day, you know, where my imagination was getting the worst of me. So I stepped on the scale.
WTF?
Oh, damn, this isn't making me feel any better. Maybe the scale is off? Maybe it's just gas and after a good fart I'll be back to normal? You know, I haven't farted all day. Maybe that's all it is?
Damn Thanksgiving holiday!
I hopped in my new Memphismobile and drove to the sandwich place that I always go to to grab some lunch.
As I stood in line waiting for my sandwich, a beautiful blonde girl came in and stood in line next to me. It was the very same blonde girl I had noticed checking me out one month ago in this very same restaurant.
I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. Was she checking me out? What was her reaction?
Her arms were crossed across her chest and she was looking away from me, avoiding any eye contact.
As I looked in her direction, trying not to be obvious, she crossed her legs, too.
She was standing up, and still managed to cross both her arms and legs in response to me.
Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh damn fucking hell!
I'm not having a good day.
Rejected
* On a side note, did you know that whenever you comment out anything in your HTML code on Blogger now, it fucking deletes it? I was editing this post and commented out half of it to come back and work on later. I didn't delete it. But Blogger, having been written by fucking retarded monkeys, automatically deleted every single line of it, much as it inserts fucking carriage returns two and three times into posts that I didn't want fucking carriage returns inserted into. Someone needs to find the retarded monkeys who run Blogger and shoot them.
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