Grab Life By The Horns


Those marketing people are all going to hell

I need to get a new truck. My minitruck is great on gas mileage and parking in half-sized spaces or spaces that are crowded by inept old ladies in SUVs who take half of the space next to theirs, but otherwise it's just not safe.

Today I noticed that Britney Spears, the tall blonde girlfriend of Jeremy the midnight mechanic, is selling her giant, jacked-up, 4-wheel-drive, V8 powered, Chevy Suburban. It would do nicely for me. But I'd really rather have a Blazer or an extended cab pickup.

The other day I rode to lunch in a 4-door Dodge Ram pickup belonging to The Beautiful Fantasy Art-Looking Woman I work with. The truck is the right size, has plenty of room inside, and is a heck of a lot more comfortable to ride in than my minitruck. Until then I hadn't seriously considered buying a Dodge pickup.

The only Dodge I have ever owned was a 1972 Dodge Polara. It wasn't bad. The brakes would put you through the windshield, the body was indestructible, and the ride was the best of any car I ever owned. But it had it's quirks, to be sure. Anyway, during college my brother got high and spray-painted stupid shit all over it because he was mad at his neighbors. Yeah, painted MY car because he was mad at his neighbors. Listen, when you're stoned this probably makes some kind of sense. I never understood it, but he seemed to feel that it was a perfectly rational thing to do even after he had mostly sobered up.

Anyway, I think I may start looking around for a nice used full-sized, 4-door, 4-wheel-drive, Dodge Ram with a V8 or a turbo diesel. Maybe with the gas crunch people will sell them cheap like Britney is having to do with her horse-trailer-pullin', extreme 4x4 muddin', V8 monster suburban? Who knows? All I know is the Chevy and GMC pickups cost a fortune, even with a million miles on them.
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