My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "if you two are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning in here".
My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet".
My mother taught me time travel:" If you don't straighten up, I am going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me logic:" because I said so, thats why"
My mother taught me forsight: "make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in a accident."
My mother taught me irony:" keep crying and I will give you something to cry about"
My mother taught me about contortionism:"will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck"
My mother taught me about stamina: "you'll sit there all day until that spinach is gone"
My mother taught me about weather: "that room of yours looks like a tornado went through it"
My mother taught me about the circle of life:" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out"
My mother taught meabout behavior modification:"stop acting like your father"
My mother taught me about envy: "there are millions of less fortunate children is this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do"
My mother taught me about anticipation:" just wait till we get home"
My mother taught me about recieving:" you are going to get it when you get home"
My mother taught me about medical science:"if you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way"
My mother taught me about justice: "one day I hope you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
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