I Think


I think Martina Navritalova was the first professional women's tennis player to use performance enhancing drugs and blood doping. But she was not the last.

I think Lance Armstrong doped.

I think Oprah is a dope.

I think all the hoopla about professional athletes using performance enhancing drugs is overblown. I watched Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire play AA ball before they made it big and let me tell you, we suspected steroids even back then. But when they hit that ball so high and so far out of the park, no one cared one bit. It was awesome to see. That's what fans want, whether they admit it or not. What they don't want, though, are assholes who think they are a god.

Kate

I think Kate Beckinsale is hot. And not just in an "I'd Do Her Till We're Sore" kind of way, either. I think she's hot in a Tea Leoni-like "I'd Marry Her" kind of way.

Tea

I think that if Mexicans were so awfully in love with Mexico then they would live there and we would all be mowing our own damn yards and hiring rednecks to reroof our homes. But they aren't, so we're all going to have to get used to hearing a lot of Spanish from now on unless our leaders decide to grow a pair and require the immigrants to assimilate into our society the way all countries used to do in order to ensure order and prevent chaos.

I think Bush believes that America has to create its' own version of the European Union in order to remain competitive. I think that's why he wants to open our borders and let the Mexicans flood in. But he seems to have little skill at expressing his biggest fears and hopes, including this one, so everyone is left in the dark while he grows frustrated that we aren't jumping onboard a plan we haven't even heard.

I think I'd like to live in Australia, but if I ever do I don't plan to reminisce about how great America was. People get really sick of hearing that sort of thing.
"Well, back where I come from, we did it like this ..."
"Oy mate, shut it!" POW!

I think it's damned hot outside.

I think the stolen elections in Chile, the Philippines, as well as several other countries during that same recent time-frame, which immediately resulted in the new and unpopular female president signing the U.N.'s CEDAW treaty as a payoff for being illegally placed in power by some wealthy American men, were simply practice runs for the U.S. presidential election of 2008, just to see if they could do it and deal with the uprising of the angry voters who knew that they were robbed. If I'm right, then all you Obama lovers are going to be very upset soon, and everyone else soon after that.

Gloria Arroyo protestors


I think the current leaders of the Republican Party, whomever they are, are inexperienced and rather clueless, without goals or convictions of any significance. They didn't care what their constituents elected their candidates to do and they had no intentions of ever doing any of it. Meanwhile, the current leaders of the Democratic Party are experienced, narcissistic in the extreme, highly motivated, and holding beliefs far more radical than their most loyal constituents even suspect or support.

I think the Toyota Prius is funny-looking. I don't care how much you love the environment. You can still love the environment and not look dorky. Why can't they make a hybrid that looks cool? Why not a hybrid Supra or Celica GT?

I think it's revealing that guys like George Soros, Warren Buffet, Rupert Murdoch, and Bill Gates all are supporting Hillary Clinton's political machine 100 percent, especially after the way Hillary drove the Justice Department to crucify Bill and hold Microsoft hostage in order to win him to her side as her personal eunuch. Most businessmen try to play both sides and appear impartial, but America's wealthiest men certainly aren't. They're all in Hillary's camp. Meanwhile, more and more Democrat women say they don't like Hillary and prefer Obama. It's only being whispered, but many Democrat women have a bad feeling about Hillary, that something is very wrong with her.

I think most people's instincts, or 'gut feelings', are more often on-the-money than we give them credit for, and I find that as I get older I trust mine more and more.

I think the research indicating that sociopaths make excellent investors and tend to make more money than ordinary people is probably true. God made every personality type for a reason and we all have our purpose. I think sociopaths are here to force the rest of us to get up and fight for what we say we believe in, or else they'll run us right over with their tireless quests for more money, more power, and more control. Without sociopaths to threaten us all, we'd probably just sit on our asses all day and wait for God to do everything for us.

I think the Good Guys rarely win. But we have trouble with this idea, so we sometimes convince ourselves that some very Bad Guys are actually Good. Then we can believe that the Good Guys won and all is right with the world. We like to believe that if we can just withstand the onslaught of evil long enough, eventually Justice will come and the evil will fall. But this only happens when good men rise up and fight evil to the death. Look at Stalin and Mao and Castro, just to name a few. They all lived to be old, never once expressing regret for their sins. To stop Hilter took all of Europe and America rising up against him.

I think it's just as wrong for women to only do business with other women as it is for men to only do business with other men. Judging from all the "women owned business" directories floating around in the Memphis grocery stores, women don't seem to feel this way at all. What's considered to be good for one is apparently not good for the other. Hypocrisy is ever-present.

woman owned man

I think the women-only beaches in Italy and the women-only markets filled with women-only businesses subsidized by the government in Pakistan and the women-only buses in Seattle and the women-only schools the feminists are building everywhere is as much an expression of a puritanical religious view of the sexes (women good, men evil) as anything the actual Puritans ever dreamed up.


I think that the West is simultaneously becoming both more religious and more hedonistic than ever before, but because we aren't calling it religion, most people don't recognize it as such. They think it has to come from a Baptist preacher to be religion, and can't possibly come from an atheist college professor or millionaire drug-addicted socialite. Words and language are more powerful and influential than most people realize. Where do you think the whole "women and men" vs "men and women" push came from?

I think I'm stressed.

I think just as fast as MySpace is stealing people away from Blogger, Facebook is stealing them away from MySpace. But I'm not a huge fan of Facebook any more than I am of MySpace. And I have neglected my accounts on both.

I think I will be requesting another write-in ballot for the November elections and voting for myself for several positions. For any job I don't think I could do I'll write in one of you bloggers. Are Canadians allowed to serve in the Tennessee state government? How about Texans and Australians? Hell, they probably wouldn't even notice anyway. You could be Lt. Governor for years before they figured out that you actually live in Sydney and have never even been to Tennessee. "Lt Governor Stephanie. Isn't she lovely? And she has that wonderful accent, calling people 'mate' all the time. I wonder what part of Tennessee she's from?"

I think the Republican Party has been spelling my name "Steevn Joanes" on piles of junk-mail for several years now, and the idiocy and apathy of this seemingly insignificant slight is actually quite revealing, as is the fact that they have never once sent me anything requesting to know what I think or want beyond their own predefined list of issues that I don't care so much about. Meanwhile, the Democrats have never tried to contact me at all. Not once.

I think a strange odor suddenly sprang up in our master bedroom closet and we have no idea what the hell it is or where it came from. But just as suddenly as it appeared, it disappeared again.

I think driving My Father's old car is depressing, but as I refuse to buy anything from Ford due to its' recent political and religious stances on issues it should not even be involved in, I guess I won't be buying that Mustang any time soon. At the same time, my sister is offering to sell me her Bronco and I may buy it. Yes, I'm aware of how screwed up this is. But My Wife wants my dad's stinky old wagon gone NOW.

I think I need to poop.

I think there is a message on my machine here at work and I haven't listened to it all morning. It's probably OK, though. I think it's from me.

I think I'm tired.

I think Jerry Jones, owner of the Cowboys, and their last coach are so focused on criticizing players for their faults that they've created an atmosphere of failure in Dallas. No matter who they bring in and no matter how good they are as soon as they get to the Cowboys they suddenly can't perform. I see a problem and I don't think it's the players. I think the owner and his staff is the problem.

I think Mia Hamm took a dive several times in the women's big World Cup win against China. I even have a picture of one of them she did to draw a penalty. I have a lot of respect for Mia Hamm as an athlete, but this sort of thing is why soccer won't replace football in America. Taking a dive is weak, but it's just part of the game in soccer. In football, men ram head-on into one another, with the strongest man running over the weaker man. In soccer, one man throws himself to the ground and cries that he's been murdered, and if he gets the penalty then he's considered to have won. How weak is that?

I think that to get on the Spike TV show "Pros vs Joes" you have to take your shirt off and act like a total ass in your audition video. I think you have to convince the guys picking the Joes that it would be totally kickass to see you get your head knocked off by one of the pro football players they sic on you.

I think "Wheel of Fortune" and in fact, most TV game shows, are rigged to help the person the show's producer likes most to win. They never say the shows aren't rigged. It was once illegal, but I don't believe it is anymore. There's really no reason not to. The target audience wants to see the person they most identify with win.

I think the abuse of the Taser is eroding public confidence in the police. I think this is the fault of the Taser corporation itself, as it encourages the view that their weapon, which is basically nothing more than a torture device, is no more harmful than a fluffy pillow. I think the idea that short-tempered cops are running around tasering average citizens at the drop of a hat is growing in popularity, whether it has any basis in reality or not. I also think that the use of the Taser on the groin, as encouraged by Taser, is going to lead to a massive class-action lawsuit that could bankrupt the company. I think they have it coming, though, whether it ever happens or not.

I think Disney has been run by pedophiles and perverts since the '80s and is more likely to pollute and corrupt Pixar than Pixar is to rescue Disney.

I think my farts don't stink, but Axe body spray does.

I think Rosie got fired for offending Barbara Walters and not for offending the audience.

I think Isaiah Washington got fired for saying the word 'fag' and not for assaulting Patrick Dempsey.

I think Lindsay Lohan is so wasted that her career is all but over already.

I think Paris Hilton is a sociopath who learned very little from going to jail beyond how to better get away with things and thus avoid going to jail in the future.

I think Britney Spears is struggling not to end up like Lindsay Lohan.

I think Tara Reid was Lindsay's prototype.

I think Christina Aguilera started to go down the whore path but wisely changed her mind.

I think Alanis Morissette was literally driven crazy by feminists in the music business encouraging her to dwell on hate so they could make more money off her resulting music. I think they were disappointed when she cracked and her music went to hell, but only because they didn't get any money out of it.

I think Hillary is working overtime to assassinate Obama but is getting less help from her girlfriends in the media than she expected, and certainly far less than she is accustomed to. But she has those billionaires behind her, so she's not too worried.

I think it really doesn't matter what I think. It affects absolutely nothing. But blogging often helps to relieve stress, so here it all is, as random and meandering as it can possibly be.

I think I wrote this several months ago and only just now posted it for no particular reason at all, with just a few additions here and there.

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