In other vital news, the stock market is having a spaz attack today and Google is all over the place.
My underwear keeps riding up, making me think I should skip the weights and just run the treadmill until my legs completely fall off tonight. But I feel sick. So maybe I won't do that.
I poured myself a cup of coffee this morning. Looking at it now I don't think I've drank a single drop of it all day and I don't want it now. If any of you want it let me know and I'll pour it into a bubble envelope and send it to you.
Did you know that as a man accumulates fat on his abdomen it makes his dick shorter? This is what keeps me running that treadmill. Why did God put fat on a man's abdomen anyway, especially if it makes his dick shorter? Sometimes I think God just did some stuff to be mean. For example: testicles
Is it a sin to speculate that God did certain things just to be mean?
Who is driving that damned tractor outside?! That thing is loud!
Binsk directed me to a blog belonging to TillyRabbit who directed me to a blog by an Angry Fat Girl. Go there and leave comments. It's so sad and tragic. Tell her she's a fat cow. She likes when people do that.
The Canadians sure did win a shitload of gold medals in the Winter Olympics, didn't they? And they seem like the happiest bunch of motherfuckers I ever saw in the Olympics, too. I guess if you got a buttload of gold medals you'd be happy, too, though. I like their happy, athletic women. I may move to Canada and get on the news for stalking female Olympic athletes up there. Or I may be on the news for being killed by them if they don't like me back.
My nuts keep itching, but it's embarassing to scratch them at work. Whoever came up with the idea of cubicals obviously didn't have itchy balls.
Soccer players are mostly fags.
Origami!
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