Has anyone ever seen Kelly Ripa pissed off or sad? Is this woman real, or is she some kind of happy, peppy robot?
Whatever the case, she's hot and I'd do her.
Happy happy happy
Why do so many Americans bitch about the flood of illegal aliens invading our country and then turn around and hire them to mow your yards, clean your gutters, or build your house? If you keep feeding them they'll just keep coming back.
Why do Mexicans in the United States get so excited and prideful about Mexico, and yet risk their lives to get away from there? If it's that great then go back. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. Or at least learn to bitch in English. To be honest, if they just bragged about Mexico in English I'd be fine with it. Well, if they bragged in English and stopped blasting that rotten mariachi music.
The People's Republic of California did this last week
Why are wealthy Americans the only people dumb enough to accept the idea that being proud of your own country and your own culture is somehow an evil thing? Yes we DO have the best culture, the best form of government, and the best of just about everything else. That's why we need walls to keep people OUT and not IN. Just ask your lawn maintenance man. He'll tell you.
Why do rich Jewish kids in New York City celebrate Che Guevara so much? Whatever happened to admiring Elijah and David and Moses? Or even George Clooney, for cryin' out loud?! Che was a grubby tool who ran around in the jungle killing masses of unarmed peasants. He probably smelled like dirty old socks and cow poo. How is this cool?
Why is it a hate-crime to say "fag" or "nappy-headed ho" or the big "N-word", but it isn't to say "men are pigs" or "kill the white man" or to shout "we're going to castrate you" to a white boy at Duke? Apparently "hate crime" means "OK for me, but not for you." On a side note, did you know that this type of thinking is one of the key traits of a sociopath?
When did words become the legal equivalent of a violent physical attack? What kind of lightweight narcissistic pussy thinks being called a nasty name is the equivalent to being punched in the face? Clearly only someone who has never actually been punched in the face could think this way. I say we find these people and punch them in the face just to help clear their thinking. It's for their own good. It would save lives. Do it for the children.
If Microsoft is the most evil company in the world then what is Comcast? I'd like a recount.
I saw on the news how Mexicans were burning American flags in California last week. I thought they were just trying to smoke them, but then I remembered Cinco De Mayo. I need to start writing this shit down.
What would happen if prostitution were to be legalized throughout the United States? Would we start exporting those jobs to India and China and Russia? Some of those Eastern women are hot. I could see how that might become a big problem for the American hookers. Sex might become cheaper than gas. I'm not talking about toothless skanky airport sex, either. I'm talking about good hot Russian porno sex here. I'll bet if we did that then we could start trading sex for oil. Everyone knows many of those Middle Eastern Muslims are a bunch of pervs. They'd give anything to get it on with a nice clean American girl. Or even a mean dirty American girl. Some guys are into that rough stuff, you know.
Why did God make our genitals grow hair? Was it intended as some sort of groin flag that says "OK, do me now." Wouldn't He have known all along that we were going to wear designer clothes and cover all that up? Was this intended to be some sort of private joke? And if He knows everything then He already knew that everyone would eventually start shaving it all off anyway, right? Do you suppose He ever intended for Avril Lavigne to show off her buttcrack and declare it to be the new cleavage? I'll bet He laughed his ass off knowing this was coming. All the angels up in Heaven must have been asking him for centuries, "What's so funny, God?" And He'd just say, "wait for it. Ya'll ain't gonna believe this." Yeah, God could be a Southerner. You don't know.
Do you think God really intended for anyone to ever wear a thong?
Why is pink the preferred color for girls? Is this some sort of subtle sexual reference to vaginas? If so, then I guess this explains why boys get blue.
Why does it seem to always be the case that the most celebrated people in the entertainment industry are also the biggest idiots? Britney, Sheryl Crow, Rosie, Paris ... I could just go on and on.
If we desperately need to find Osama bin Laden, and we've announced to the whole world that we're not going to invade Syria or Pakistan or Iran, wouldn't it seem pretty obvious where he probably is? Or is this our plan? Do we even have a plan? And assuming that we do, how are we supposed to do anything when half our nation's leaders are demanding that we lay out our whole secret strategy for the world to see? Has anyone ever won a war that way? I guess France tried it, eh? "Hey Germany, we're building this wall here, the Maginot Line. You can't get past it, so don't even try it, buddy." Sometimes I think the Democrats are all French. Think about it, they love good food and good sex, but they surrender a lot.
Why do so many Conservatives still throw around the term "liberal" when referring to people who are out-and-out Communists? Would Rush Limbaugh refer to Fidel Castro as a "liberal" if Fidel were in the U.S. Senate as a Democrat? You might think this sounds ridiculous, Fidel in the U.S. Senate, but you know those lunatics in Northern California would vote for him. They're nuts out there.
Why was it ever considered a form of "women's liberation" for college girls to throw away their bras? This was perhaps the only time in the history of feminism that the feminists actually did something that made men happy.
Did you know that the United States once tried to invade and conquer Canada? And we FAILED? This is perhaps the most embarrassing chapter of U.S. history ever. I believe it was shortly after this failed invasion that the Canadians invented hockey. No wonder it's so violent. I'll bet they were pissed. The Zamboni was originally a military weapon intended to enable the Canadian army to skate into Washington and bombard the Capitol Building with frozen hockey pucks. That's why all the important buildings in Washington D.C. have those huge staircases leading to the front doors, to keep the Canadians and their Zambonis out.
I love all sorts of musclecars and hotrods, but I can't figure out this fascination with making cars drop down and drag their frames on the pavement. How is this cool? In college, I sat my dad's 1969 Buick Wildcat down nice and low for a short time. I thought it was cool until I went to drive over a bridge and hit the front of the frame on the lip of the bridge. The shock from hitting that bridge nearly knocked my brains right out of my head. I'll bet I didn't look so cool in my lowrider sitting there in traffic with that dazed and confused look on my face. I was nearly crying from the pain. That hurt. I'll bet I made some good sparks though.
Why is it legal for a television network in the U.S. to show bare genitalia if it's part of a newscast, but not if it's anything else? Isn't a dick a dick?
Speaking of dicks, I've found some previously unpublished photos of the Virginia Tech shooter that you might want to see. Thanks to Mr. Not So Confidential for the link that led to these.
Don’t DEA agents get stoned out of their minds when they confiscate and burn large stashes of marijuana? How do they pass their drug tests after that? And doesn’t this make you wonder about the sort of people who want to become DEA agents? Isn’t it just a license to get all the drugs you want and get high off them at a big bonfire? It sounds like high school, except that everyone is wearing Kevlar and guns and not having as much sex.
Why do men's pants have zippers with metal teeth in the front, while women's clothes have them on the side or in the back? Wouldn't it make more sense for men to have them on the sides or in the back? I guess if we started wearing women's pants then we'd have to wear the thongs, too, wouldn't we? Yeah, nevermind. But you know, if we did this then our asses would look better. You know you want it, girl.
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