According to endless TV commercials and government studies, the #1 killer of women is:
#1 Heart Disease
#1 Cervical Cancer
#1 Ovarian Cancer
#1 Breast Cancer
#1 Osteoporosis
#1 Not Wearing Seatbelts
#1 Abusive "Partners"/Domestic Violence
#1 Pilo Capillus (Really Bad Hair)
#1 Pedis Squeezis (Those Shoes That Look So Great But Hurt Your Feet)
#1 Peteo Abundus (Perfume Overdose)
#1 SUV Rollovers
#1 Cellphone Induced Brain Cancer
#1 Donatella Versace Complex (Cosmetic Surgery Gone Bad)
#1 Sagass Complex B (Falling Ass Syndrome)
#1 Kohlitis (Really Good Sale At Kohls)
#1 Holy Molymus (Too Many Piercings)
#1 Gropitus Maximus (Lesbian Gym Teachers)
#1 Gleemypuss Morbidus (Overuse of Crest White Strips)
#1 Madonna-Cootchitus (Too Many Boyfriends At Once/Sexual Exhaustion)
#1 Smackus Capitis (Head Injury from Automobile Airbag)
#1 Poonami (Terminally Explosive Diarrhea)
#1 Pussitus Mortis (Fatal Allergic Reaction to Cats)
#1 Cooteurysm (Aneurysm Resulting From Overly Tight Pants)
#1 Fatassamor Excessum (Terminal Compression By Obese Lover)
#1 Hypertension from Ads Claiming that EVERYTHING is the #1 Killer of Women
#1 of course!
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