The Number 1 Killer of Women


According to endless TV commercials and government studies, the #1 killer of women is:

#1 Heart Disease

#1 Cervical Cancer

#1 Ovarian Cancer

#1 Breast Cancer

#1 Osteoporosis

#1 Not Wearing Seatbelts

#1 Abusive "Partners"/Domestic Violence

#1 Pilo Capillus (Really Bad Hair)

#1 Pedis Squeezis (Those Shoes That Look So Great But Hurt Your Feet)

#1 Peteo Abundus (Perfume Overdose)

#1 SUV Rollovers

#1 Cellphone Induced Brain Cancer

#1 Donatella Versace Complex (Cosmetic Surgery Gone Bad)

#1 Sagass Complex B (Falling Ass Syndrome)

#1 Kohlitis (Really Good Sale At Kohls)

#1 Holy Molymus (Too Many Piercings)

#1 Gropitus Maximus (Lesbian Gym Teachers)

#1 Gleemypuss Morbidus (Overuse of Crest White Strips)

#1 Madonna-Cootchitus (Too Many Boyfriends At Once/Sexual Exhaustion)

#1 Smackus Capitis (Head Injury from Automobile Airbag)

#1 Poonami (Terminally Explosive Diarrhea)

#1 Pussitus Mortis (Fatal Allergic Reaction to Cats)

#1 Cooteurysm (Aneurysm Resulting From Overly Tight Pants)

#1 Fatassamor Excessum (Terminal Compression By Obese Lover)

#1 Hypertension from Ads Claiming that EVERYTHING is the #1 Killer of Women






.... And the answer is .....






#1 of course!
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