A Rose By Any Other Name ...
1. What is your middle name?
Sting
2. What color underwear are you wearing now?
White with just a hint of brown streak
3. What are you listening to right now?
My fingers clicking on the keyboard
4. What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
Index. I use the same digit to dial all phone numbers.
5. What was the last thing you ate?
One of those plastic plug protectors.
No wait, I'm remembering too far back.
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Mayonaise white
Hey, if that isn't a color then it should be
7. How is the weather right now?
Dark and cold, like Madonna's heart and J Lo's butt
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
They wouldn't give me their name. They just kept breathing real heavy. I think they must have been really tired.
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The pepper spray. I hate that stuff. It doesn't even taste good.
10. Favorite type of Food?
Cooked usually
11.Do you drink?
Every day. I start off the day with orange juice. Then kick it up a notch to some strong coffee while I'm at work. And finish off with a pint of water. Sometimes I drink milk if I'm feeling really wild. Somewhere in there, every now and then, I drink beer and stuff, too.
12. Do you smoke?
Only during sex when I'm moving really fast. Sometimes I burst into flames.
13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
How would I know if I don't remember?
14. Hair color?
Welsh brown
15. Eye color?
peacan
16. Do you wear contacts?
No, but I keep a list of contacts in my cell phone. Does that count?
17. Favorite Holiday?
Billie
18. Favorite Month?
White Male History Month.
Yeah, and just when is that gonna be, I'd like to know?!
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
Once way back when I was in the 6th or 7th grade. I don't know why I busted out crying but I couldn't stop and I got to skip school because of it. I still don't know why it happened, but hey, I got to skip school. I wasn't complaining.
20. What was the last movie you watched?
Started to watch the sequal to Bridget Jones, but got distracted and turned it off.
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
Payday
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Apparently so considering the huge number of girls who years later told me they wanted me to ask them out and wondered why I never did. I could have died. If I'd only known I would have dated them all. Well, almost all. Some of them were just nasty, but some of them were SO BEAUTIFUL. Who would have thought they'd ever liked me?
23. If you can say something to someone right now what would it be?
Stick'em up!
24. Hugs or Kisses?
I'll take whatever I can get. I'm not a complainer.
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
mix'em up
26. Do you want your friends to respond?
Usually. What good is a friend if all they do is sit there in their coffin ignoring you?
29. What books are you reading?
2 on screen writing, 1 on the theory of humor, 1 on vitamins, 1 on economics, 1 on crooked DAs in California, ... can't remember what the others are. I read several at a time and take forever to finish, as you might expect.
30. Piercings?
One in my shin. It was unintentional. It was dark, I was running through Tony King's yard back in college, I didn't know his grandmother had dumped a bunch of iron lawn furniture at his house, I discovered the iron lawn furniture while in a dead sprint, and WAHLA! Piercing! It's mostly just a horrible scar now.
31. Favorite Movie?
Debbie Does Dal ... no, wait, Raising Arizona. Or maybe Tobacco Road. I don't know. I like several.
32. Favorite football Team?
Dallas and Auburn, I guess. Although I'm a closet Gators fan because of a meeting with a Florida Gators cheerleader when I was at cheerleader camp in college. And I like the Chiefs because Avery works for them up in KC and I like Avery a lot. But this is more than you ever cared to know, isn't it? And probably far less interesting.
33.What were you doing before this?
Looking for a digital camera on bestbuy.com
34. Any pets?
2 cats, one of which I'm going to kill. But don't tell her. She's a master of evil.
35. Wendys or Taco Bell?
Do we have plenty of toilet paper? Yes, I need to know before I choose.
36. Butter, Plain, Sweet or Salted popcorn?
Caramel or cheese, actually.
37. Dogs or cats?
Grew up with dogs, but now I only have cats because it is so swampy here and I refuse to have an indoor dog, unlike my mother-in-law who thinks Labradors should sleep indoors in beds like everybody else. She has the fattest damned dog I ever saw. Whoever heard of a Lab living inside a house and having his own room and his own regular human bed?!
38. Favorite Flower?
Whatever gets me out of trouble or makes her stop crying
39. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Yes, and I couldn't stop laughing as they dragged me all the way to the office. Oh well, that was one detention that was totally worth it.
40. Are you taken or single?
Taken, but I have a feeling she's willing to loan me out. What's up with that? I'm no male slut! Wait, yes I am.
41. Have you ever REALLY loved someone?
Well yes. Who hasn't?! I mean, besides Martha Stewart.
42. Who would you like to see right now?
Ed McMahon with my check for $100 million
43. what's your fav color?
How about money green? That's the most useful color.
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
Many many guns. Luckily, they never fired back. Except this one time, at band camp, ... no wait .. this one time, my brother shot me in the leg, but it was an air pistol and he was a jackass. And then he shot it straight up and we were in his room and glass came raining down. He had accidently shot out his light. Bwa ha ha ha!
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yes, but I hate the airport security so I avoid it now. Yes, my name is Muhammed. No, only kidding.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Whatever feels right at the time. I'm somewhat ambidexterous, equally inept with either hand.
47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be?
What do you mean 'be with?' You mean sex or just sitting on the couch watching TV? I'll say Jenny McCarthy just because it covers both options.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1 for me and 1 for her
49. Are you missing someone?
No, everyone is where they're supposed to be at the moment. Did someone escape that I don't know about?
50. Do you have a Tattoo?
No, but I have a scab that looks a lot like the Virgin Mary. Or Elvis. It depends on which way you look at it. I'm thinking of selling it on Ebay.
I think I'm supposed to tag someone with this so that they have to do it next. I'll tag anyone who wants to do it. And if no one does, then I'll tag Stacy, 'cause I like her.
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