German girls know how to party
Why do we say "The UK" now, instead of "Great Britain"? I realize they lost just about everything in World Wars I and II, but since when have we been the least bit concerned about accuracy and objective truth? Seriously. Why is it The United Kingdom now? When did this happen? What do you call people from the UK? You call them British, right? Are we going to start calling them UKians? Whatever we decide, it's only a matter of time before the American media starts mistakenly calling them UK-Americans.
Why do I hear about all sort of excitement, some not so good and some very good, in New Guinea and New Zealand (poor guy) and Australia, but never a word about Tasmania? I mean, for crying out loud, the Tasmanian Devil is the most popular cartoon character in the United States, yet how many Americans even realize that Tasmania is a place? Can you surf there? Are there kangaroos? Do they have hot blonde bikini babes on the beaches like they have in Australia? What's the story? Where are my Aussie friends to explain all of this to me since my American teachers failed so miserably?
Why are the French so pissed off all the time? Is all that talk about sexy French women just a myth? Or are they all lesbians now or something? What's wrong with you people? Don't you have wine? Wine is a drink, not a national pasttime. Put on your big girl panties or something. Take heart in the knowledge that Americans are trying as hard as we can to overtake you in the whining department. And why do all other English-speaking countries call it 'whinging' instead of 'whining'? How did this happen?
Why aren't the Germans more popular? I mean, they have lots and lots of hot blonde girls and apparently they think nothing of walking around stark naked in public. You'd think American tourists would be all over that shit.
According to 'experts' on TV, the Japanese are the world's most advanced country, but having virtually no sex at all and so few children that they are facing a major population crisis in the very near future. And this at a time when the Westernization of their diet has resulted in their women developing larger breasts, smaller waists, and sexier bootays than any generation of Japanese women in history. In fact, with the rise of the internet porn industry, which is rapidly overtaking software as the single biggest economic gold mine of today, China is trying to figure out a way to get their citizens to stop aborting girls and start having as many as possible. Russia exports more porn than oil, and they're the second largest oil producer in the world. And interestingly, Muslim nations are the worlds largest IMPORTER of porn despite being the only nations that actually treat women as badly as the feminists treat men in the West. Of course, most Muslim nations treat their men pretty horribly badly, too, providing fuel for the arguments that porn causes extreme violence. I don't know about that. I don't think porn causes me to hurt myself too badly. Beating off is just an expression, after all. Maybe porn is inspiring women to use vibrators that are way too big? I'm guessing, obviously.
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so ...
Sally Field is proof that drugs DO cause brain damage.
With all the corruption in governments around the world, why would allegedly highly educated and intelligent people across the globe conclude that an organization made up of government agents forming one giant unelected and unaccountable government, the United Nations, be somehow more trustworthy and less corrupt? And how much more evidence to the contrary is needed before everyone figures out that this is a huge mistake?
Am I cursed or something? Just the other day I was saying how Natalie and Amanda are my two favorite hotties on "Beauty and the Geek" and then last night those assholes pitted them against each other for elimination. Fuck me! Now my favorite brunette babe is GONE.
Speaking of ""Beauty and the Geek", a computer club at Washington State University is desperately trying to attract some hot girls for its' many, many geeky guys. They've apparently been so inspired by the geeks who get laid by uber-hotties on "Beauty and the Geek" that they've lost touch with reality. They're holding a nerd auction to try to sell themselves to hot sorority girls. Little do they realize that instead of wanting them for sex, those few girls who do bid on them are only going to want them to scrub their tubs and showers, clean their toilets, and maybe install something on their computers. But they will not be having any sex with them.
Of all the trends and expressions that Americans steal from those sexy Australians, the expression I most want to see catch on here is "Holy Snapping Duck Shit." That just cracks me up. Do all Australians say this, or is it just a Steph thing?
And now, time for coffee.
We make lousy cars, but excellent wine
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