Fuck You Friday
It's another Fuck You Friday.
Spring is pretending to have arrived early.
No one wants to sit inside reading 30 minutes of news headlines.
Not even me.
So I've managed to make this one shorter.
Gay couples get licenses in N.J.
And now, for the first time ever, they can vote! No wait, they already could do that. In fact, they could already do every single thing that everyone else could already do.
McCain: Rumsfeld was one of the worst
.. Scrabble players in history. That McCain, he’s a big fanatic about that Scrabble!
Bush: fixing health care is "urgent priority"
Which would seem to indicate that he thinks it’s broken, wouldn’t it? Why would he say something like this? Is he really that stupid?
Clinton urges start of Iraq pullout in 90 days
By all means, let us surrender as fast as possible to show our enemies how sorry we are for crushing them after our nation was attacked. Funny thing is, when
New heart guidelines for women stress aspirin
First, this is really old information. Second, notice there are no new heart guidelines for men because they haven’t spent a dime on health research for males since 1996 when a Republican-controlled Congress thought it’d be cute to just cut off all males from health care advances entirely. Ha ha, it was all a joke. And now the Democrats control Congress. Who’s laughing now, funny boys?
High cholesterol raises stroke risk healthy women
But not healthy men because ... say it with me ... no men were permitted to participate in the study.
International study finds new autism genetic links
That’s awesome, but could you hurry up, please? Perhaps some of the trillions of dollars going towards breast cancer research could be better spent here? This problem does seem to be growing in leaps and bounds while the entire country focuses entirely on breasts. Not that breasts aren’t fascinating, but still ….
Dominican prostitutes test AIDS vaccine
Now you know at some point they’re going to be accusing someone of being Nazis and suing the shit out of them for testing a vaccine on minority prostitutes, regardless of the outcome, right? Who doesn’t see this coming?
Mummified body found in front of blaring TV
Remember when Mtv was new and you would just sit and stare for hours at all those weird-assed videos all day long? Yes, I am old enough to remember that. It’s a wonder this didn’t happen back then.
Anglican Communion wants U.S. action in gay row
Remember when the
Watchdog says drug prices "grave problem"
It’s not the prices that are the problem, Mr Political Science Major. It’s the fact that it costs too damned much to research them, get them through all the FDA hurdles, and then finally get them out on the market for the brief period that your patent is in force before everyone else gets to cash in our your hard work. Ah, I’m wasting my breath here. There are those who ‘get’ math and those who just can’t.
Math anxiety saps working memory needed to do math
If it weren’t for this, there would never have even been socialism because Karl Marx would have realized how full of shit that whole thing really is. Alas, he couldn’t count.
Multifaceted attack on truancy can save kids
If they cared anything at all about saving kids they’d stop busing the bad kids to the good schools while sending the good kids all the way to the other side of town to the bad schools where they get attacked, raped, robbed, and murdered.
N.M. orders 500 talking urinal cakes
It’s for a program of calculated harassment based entirely on sex. I can’t think of a better set-up to a class-action lawsuit, but you know it won’t happen because the victims are the “wrong” sex. So instead they’ll be reporting on men getting arrested for throwing these things into the trash. All the while, we’ll be expected to be outraged at them for daring to toss out the source of the harassment. Oh sure, it’ll START with drunk driving messages, but I guarantee before the year is out it’ll be changed into misandric feminazi sermons about the evils of heterosexuality and men. That’s what’s been going on in mens’ bathrooms at ivy league colleges across the nation for years. That’s where this whole idea came from.
Vietnam vets rally to protect memorial
Apparently our nation’s cowardly lions and Oprah fans are rallying in Washington D.C. to protest the war. In order to prevent the Vietnam war memorial from being destroyed by these flamboyant pansies,
Iran refuses to budge on UN demands
Cheney slams Iraq plan advocated by Dems
He’s not planning to run for President. He has no incentive to play nice and pretend that our military isn’t being betrayed. Also, the Democrats know that if he ever gets any of them out in the woods for a hunting trip he’ll shoot their treasonous asses. Although it may very well be entirely and genuinely by accident.
Australia looks to increase forces in Afghanistan
Farrakhan to make his last major address
Following this “last major address” he’ll be replacing Isaiah Washington on “Grey’s Anatomy.”
Men-free tourism island planned
It’s a bit ironic that this is a Muslim idea, being planned out in
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