She was somebody's daughter
She was only 18
She was a week away from graduation
I have tried to post small things about my current thoughts on God. I actually have a much longer post about God in my head, but I've been reluctant to put it down and publish it. So I'll just touch on it a little bit.
On the subject of faith, with most of my friends who have trouble just letting go and having faith it is usually the most intellectual ones, the ones who have outstanding problem-solving mental abilities or who have a near or total photographic memory and can absorb all sorts of knowledge easily. They are accustomed to always being able to handle whatever comes for themselves. They have never had to rely on anyone else and thus never really learned how to do so. Some of them have actually cried in frustration that they can't let go and trust God because they have just never learned to do that with anyone. Not ever.
Some people who hate Christians and Jews and most anyone who believes in God say it is a crutch to believe in him. They say this as an insult, but in some ways it's true. And you know what? There is a reason for crutches. People need them sometimes. And when you need a crutch you'd better have one. What's wrong with that? When you're down you need a way to get up again and a way to keep on keeping on when you can't walk on your own. I ran track. I played soccer. I've had 2 knee surgeries. I'm very familiar with crutches. I'm even pretty good with a wheelchair. I have always been able to run faster than most people when I'm healthy. But when I need a crutch I'm not going to be ashamed of an injury.
There are people put on this Earth who are poorly equipped to make it through life. They are not smart, not rich, not good-looking, not inspiring of pity or charity, and barely making it, if they make it at all. Where can they turn if not to God? Who is going to help them if no one feels compelled to do so? And who has the right to mock them in their desperation if they turn to God and beg for help? Surely not those who have never been and will never be down and out.
Christians were instructed by Jesus to help those who are down because God expects it of them in exchange for his own grace in forgiving them their sins. Socialists are instructed to help only certain groups who are down because it makes you feel good about yourself. Thus, it is all about you.
I think God equips us all differently. I find it odd that my friends who seem the best equipped to make it through life on their own are also the ones most frustrated by their inability to trust God. They also frequently have the most control issues, as the world is perpetually beyond their control and no matter how much power or wealth they gain it is never as much as this life requires for them to do it entirely on their own. See: Hillary Clinton
I'm no great theologian. I'm not able to give some great analogy or mind-blowing theology. I'm just blogging what I've seen or read or experienced. You may be exceptionally smart. You may be unusually gifted. Even as you look at God and wonder how people can lean so much on him, seemingly flying by the seat of their pants, others may be looking at you and envying how you can stand so strong on your own, never seeming to struggle or suffer.
We each have to take what God gave us and work with it. I know I can't say magic words that answer everything. I can't save anyone's soul with my fabulous written wisdom. Lately I can't even have a conversation about it with anyone other than myself. I have new questions, questions they never discussed in Sunday School because, as one deacon explained, they felt it was 'too deep' for most of us. But for me, after a lifetime in church, it's time they talk about the deeper issues or else I have to leave and dig for the answers myself. But maybe that's just me.
Here are some things to think about if you're wondering what's going on in my head or else if you're just into this sort of thing:
Both the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible assign a very definite and clear gender to God, despite the availability of the neuter gender in the Aramaic language that the New Testament was originally written in. God is named Jehovah, which is God the Father, a very male god. And he cannot be God the Mother or God the genderless and confused relative. In order to be the God of the Jews and the Christians God's name must be Jehovah and he must be a he.
The world God created is a patriarchy. As such it has a specific order and assigned roles. Satan is said to thrive on chaos, and thus would certainly seek to blur the roles and reverse the order as much as possible. The Bible says that a man in a household is responsible for leading and guiding his wife in her relationship to God. He is her connection and is required to fill his role whether he likes it or not. When Satan chose Eve to commit the first sin he tempted her with control. If she sinned it was without any input from Adam. It offered her power and control over her own destiny. Eve could go directly to a higher power, namely Satan. When Adam sinned he followed Eve to do so. The order was reversed, with Satan using Eve as Adam's connection to him. Whatever God establishes, Satan always tries to imitate it in reverse. Always.
Allah is not the same as Jehovah, just as Michael Jackson cannot be confused by anyone who knows him with Michael Jordan.
God is not here. Neither is Jesus. God is in Heaven. Jesus, following the resurrection and ascension to Heaven, is said very clearly in the Bible to be off preparing a new Heaven and a new Earth. Following Jesus' ascension God sent the Holy Spirit as "a comforter" available to all who believe. So, how can God allow so much suffering and death? Well, for one thing, because he isn't here, but the devil is. He left when Adam and Eve chose to sin, giving possession of the world to the god they chose when they sinned, which is Satan. And the Bible and the Torah both say that already. You can pray to God in Heaven if you have a relationship with him and he will hear you. But he may leave your message on the machine and not call you back, leaving you to accept on faith that he heard you. He will not walk into your room and fix your life. He will not tell you what lottery numbers to choose or what stock to buy. He will not give you a Ferrarri if you chant "I claim this Ferrari in the name of Jesus." He may leave you to suffer. He may leave you to die. He may allow your child to suffer and die. He may allow a million children to be murdered by evil, hateful people who then live a long and prosperous life before dying rich and fat. This world belongs to the devil. And there is no justice here. And there is no peace. And evil will always seek to corrupt and control good people and good organizations. Always. This is why Christians are required to use judgment and discernment in deciding whether someone or something is doing evil. "Do not judge" means that Christians can't know if the person is evil down to their core and beyond any possible redemption. Only God knows. But Christians are required to judge whether what the person or persons do is good or evil.
This is the God that I think I know, as much as I can know. And I guess I'm always learning more about it every day. So if you ask me again tomorrow, well ...
But since you brought it up.
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