Wifeism X - Twatty Machine

My Wife occasionally forgets the proper wording for whatever it is that she's trying to say. So she compensates by making up her own.

We were getting into the shower when she said, "I hope my twatty machine is working. I mean, I hope it's charged."

"What?"

"I hope my twatty machine is charged."

Rather than go into the details of how I deciphered this one I'll just explain from the beginning.

Some time ago I caught My Lovely Wife using my hair clippers to trim her ... er ... private places. I was less than happy about this so we bought a separate one for that, a beard trimmer. My Wife forgot the word "beard" and also "trimmer" and thus substituted "twatty machine." So you see, the beard trimmer is now a twatty machine. See how simple this is?

Sounds like some torture device from "Barbarella" doesn't it?
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