Star Wars III - Revenge of Seth Green


My Wife went into the kitchen this afternoon to make herself some pudding. I was busy on the computer admiring Laura's hot new self-portrait photo and trying to decide how to pick her up if I should ever meet her face-to-face. I had just settled on raising one eyebrow and saying as cooly as possibly, "Hey babe, how you doin'" when suddenly, from out of the kitchen, I hear My Wife scream, "NOOOOOOO!"

My Wife had decided to use the electric mixers to make her pudding, so she poured all the ingredients into a bowl and then inserted the rapidly spinning blades into the bowl. This was apparently a bad idea.

I went to see what my wife was screaming about. There she stood, covered head-to-toe in chocolate pudding. The kitchen wasn't exactly unscathed either. It was a Willy Wonka chocolate factory come to life.

"I just wanted some pudding. Now I have to take a shower," she explained half-disgusted and half-laughing.

"Well, I guess you got your chocolate at least."

So, once we had cleaned the mess up we did what any normal couple would do in such circumstances. We went to see "Star Wars Episode III."

As we stood in line to get our tickets My Wife noticed a black woman pointing at my shirt and laughing.

"I can't believe you wore that shirt to the movies," My Wife then said to me.

"What?" I asked innocently and then looked down to see what shirt it was that was causing so much commotion at a Star Wars movie. "Oops."

One time, just for a joke, I bought 2 t-shirts for myself and My Wife. They both have a little cartoon dog sticking his butt out and farting. Underneath the cartoon it says, "Just for you."

Oh well, it was meant to be funny anyway. Glad to have gotten such an easy laugh, although it was meant as an inside joke just for the 2 of us.

Anyway, once inside the movie we were tortured with 15 minutes of crap ads for HBO shows I couldn't care less about and then the previews for other films and then the 'still time to visit the snack bar' crap. My Wife had gotten a solid gold bucket of popcorn and the most expensive cup of Sprite in the history of the world. So, while we were watching this 2 hour and 22 minute film we each had to get up and pee at least once. Maybe I missed something important? I couldn't figure out who this guy Seth was that was supposed to rise up and cause so much trouble. But I did think that Anakin Skywalker gets a raw deal from the asshole emporer in the film. He should kill that guy for all the crap he does to him. Maybe I should email George Lucas and tell him that? He'd probably like the idea for a sequel. That'd be cool.


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