Hello? Hello? Are you there?
There's a new trend among telemarketers and other jackasses who blatantly ignore the fact that I'm on the "Do No Call" list. It goes a little something like this:
RING RING RING
(Caller ID shows "UNKNOWN NUMBER 000-000-0000")
"Hello, This is Nude Memphis Steve. I'm not at home right now, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll try to get back with you as soon as I can."
BEEP!
"Hello? ..... Hello? ..... HELLO!!!! .... Mister Jones .... are you there? .... Hello? .... Hello? ..... Is someone there? ..... Hello? .... Have you picked up? .... Hello? ..... Oh, I'm all alone. Please answer the phone. .... "whimper" ... I think I'm going to cry. You don't love me. .... HELLO?!!! Is anyone there?!"
In the background I can hear other asshats making the very same call to various other victims in what sounds like a big open room filled with phones and idiots who yell into people's answering machines.
What is up with this shit? First, being on the "Do Not Call" list means I can track them and prosecute them for harassing me. And by harassing I mean that they make these stupid calls 4 and 5 times a day EVERY day.
Second, what makes them think that screaming "Hello" into my answering machine would increase the likelihood of my picking up the phone to talk to them? No matter what they say, the caller ID still says "this is some fucker that doesn't even want you to know who they are." I'm paraphrasing, of course.
Nevertheless, no number no answer. That's the rules. That's how it works. You call me and I don't see a name or number, I don't answer. And repeatedly shouting "Hello" into my answering machine just reenforces my faith that this is an excellent policy.
Geez, jackasses.
Do Not Call
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