NEW ORLEANS (Parodied) - The black racist mayor of New Orleans almost apologized Tuesday for saying the hurricane-ravaged city would be rebuilt as a "chocolate" city and for blaming the storm on the wrath of God over U.S. involvement in Iraq and for airing evil TV shows such as "Cops."
The racist "chocolate" remark, which Mayor Ray Nagin made in a speech Monday, struck a nerve, as racial tensions and concerns loom over proposed plans to rebuild New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina using illegal ivory from Kenya, gold taken from white settlers murdered in South Africa and Zimbabwe, and marble from slave pits in Syria.
Several of the hardest-hit neighborhoods were mostly black, and many residents have expressed fears that those areas will not be rebuilt because they don't have the money to rebuild them while those with more white residents may be because the whites who live there had paid for insurance. Before the August 29 storm, New Orleans was about 70 percent black and about 90 percent drunk and topless.
"If I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize," the mayor, who is black and apparently openly racist, said Tuesday. "I need to be more sensitive and more aware of what I'm saying."
In other words, 'Oops, did I say that out loud?'
"I want everybody to be welcome in New Orleans -- black, Hispanic, or Purto Rican -- because that's the kind of city that we deserve going forward," he said, expressing his deep faith in entitlement. "I was trying to, and didn't do it very well, to deal with this whole notion, the undercurrent what's being talked about, and what's being talked about is who is going to come back to New Orleans at the end of the day. Because basicially, I want whitey to pay the bills, but I don't want him living in my neighborhood."
In his speech Monday, mocking the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, Nagin said: "This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be. .... This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."
Exactly how Nagin knows God wants an all-black, below sea-level, poorly led, high crime, Pagan and voodoo worshipping city has been difficult to determine, as he has been unwilling to explain further.
Other black leaders in New Orleans said they were taken aback by Nagin's idiotic, racist, delusional remarks.
"Everybody's jaws are dropping right now," City Councilman Oliver Thomas told The Times-Picayune newspaper. "Even if we all believe that racist stuff, that is not the type of image we need to openly admit to the nation."
In his speech, Nagin also said a wrathful God sent the hurricanes.
"Surely God is mad at America," he said. "Surely he's not approving of us being in Iraq fighting against people who behead Christians and Jews, rape women and children, and blow up 3000 people as an expression of their fanatical hatred. But surely he's upset at black America also. We're not taking care of ourselves, brushing our teeth, flossing, eating too many carbs. It's really just whitey's fault, mostly."
In his pseudo-apology, Nagin said: "I said some things out loud that were totally inappropriate. I shouldn't have made any references to God as it relates to this city because now I sound as crazy as the mayor of Memphis. In the moment I got caught up in my hatred of the white man, and it shouldn't have happened in front of reporters."
Nagin also said he has made the "chocolate" reference several times before, including before Congress. But because Congress is infamously castrated and servile to black racists as well as female supremacists no one there ever called him on his bigotry. This is perhaps the first and only time anyone has pointed out that Nagin is a racist. He has indicated that he is sorry he said it out loud where it was reported to the very people that he expects to pay for the damage to his city.
"Usually the press covers my ass. I guess this time somebody slipped up," Nagin lamented.
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