When you go out with your woman, who is obviously beautiful and totally into you, take your damn BlueTooth phone off your ear and pay attention to her, you dick.
If you park in 2 spaces at a crowded restaurant on a Saturday night, you're a piece of shit and your car should be towed and crushed. And yes, I know who you are because I watched you stand there like a pretentious douche and set your car alarm. Everyone in the parking lot knew who the douchebag parked crooked was. You're so stupid you seemed actually proud of it.
When I was in college I gave up a relationship with a hot girl simply because she lived in the next city over and I thought it was too far and we'd never work, 'cause you know, long-distance relationships and all that. I was sooo stupid.
A woman at JP Morgan lost $2 billion making risky trades, contradicting the recently highly publicized feminist claims that everything bad on Wall Street was the result of "too much testosterone" among those trading there. The Press, not surprisingly, is in a frenzy looking for men to blame for the JP Morgan woman's money-bleeding actions in order to protect the feminists' bullshit claims.
Meanwhile, a series of articles in the Wall Street Journal about why more women aren't CEOs quotes numerous current female CEOs advising other women to "take more chances, bigger risks." Hmm, sounds like testosterone talk to me.
Every once in awhile, the writers and editors at the Wall Street Journal respond to my letters about their work and say "you're a dick." They don't word it exactly that way, but that's the gist of it.
Black politicians/Democrats are trying to prop up Obama by saying "we're all for redefining marriage to benefit gay people." But black voters are saying "oh no you di'nt" and getting pissed off.
If you receive a phone call that is the wrong number, but you don't say "you have the wrong number" before you hang up, I'm just going to call you right back again until I find out if its the wrong number or not, idiot.
What kind of University graduates "intellectual elites" who think the way to get out of debt is to spend ever more money until the problem goes away? Clearly some of our ivy league schools have failed us. "Reduce spending? Who does that?! That's crazy talk!"
Giggling at other people's farts while sitting on the toilet in the men's room at work is generally frowned upon. Trying to strike up a conversation about them is even more frowned upon. Now you know.
All the womens are going apeshit over this song, and all the mens are saying "eh, what's the big deal?" ....
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